DawningDaytripper

Member since August 28, 2009

Member for 16 years, 9 months

member

100 Poems

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Sick Kitty

Posted Apr 13, 2012 · 28 lines · 1 critiques

You haven’t read this nightmare yet,
sometimes I drink just hoping to forget
I have known the pain that it can cause
to do it all again without even a pause…

It’s my self destructive neutron spiral
a dissection of a mad helix, gone viral
telling hell that I have warmed over again
but what’s the real difference in the end

Fuck it all! No one knows how I’ve tried
or that I was willing to lay down and die
tried killing myself with drink and smoke
It feels like I am surviving a really bad joke

Turning on a dime for just another chance
screw the fantasy of the clouded midnight dance

Read the rest of the poem Show less

take me somewhere I haven’t been before
I’d follow like a sick kitty who just wants more

If I could dare, I just might not simply follow
but I only find myself empty inside and hollow
grasping at chemicals I already know don’t work
but lacking in desire to find a new will to assert

Selfish, indulgent, parting with the last remark
how did I end up at the deep end in the dark
what possessed me to think my mind could cope
capable of more than tying the hang man’s rope

Who did I think I was, that I had what it took
I am pretty sure this shit was never in no book
a never ending well to a bottomless barren pit
I am left hardly knowing within who’s skin I fit

DawningDaytripper’s timeline

August 2024
27 Tue

Anniversary
15 years of membership
August 2019
27 Tue

Anniversary
10 years of membership
April 2015
03 Fri

Received a critique
on Olivia from @wesley snow
"but the subject precludes my offering them. It is beautiful and sad. I can't say I liked it because of the sadness, but it is good poetry."
August 2014
27 Wed

Anniversary
5 years of membership
November 2013
03 Sun

Critiqued
"Killer Halloween..." by @Geezer
"Hello old friend, I loved popping in to find this Halloween Jem! What a nice read. I am so glad to hear killer is going strong and I loved his rythem and ryhme.. I do have an idea or two. But I forgo those in favor of s…"
April 2012
14 Sat

Received a critique
on Sick Kitty from @scribbler
"Where you been hiding? lol. This reads like somebody way beyond any hope and ready to move on...........stan"
13 Fri

Posting milestone
100 poems posted
13 Fri

Posted a poem
Sick Kitty
"You haven’t read this nightmare yet,"
Open thread 28 lines
December 2011
20 Tue

Received a critique
on Undercover angels from @loved
"Thanks for ur sabbatical and u return to inspire me again ... I can't post here my refrain , do read it in my domain thanks"
19 Mon

Critiqued
"LATE AUTUMN" by @scribbler
"I LOVED this rhyme! It is not perfect, close, but I can see its potential. Brillant first stanza, Second stanza last line does not sit well with me though, the last line feels forced. May I suggest Threatning to release…"
19 Mon

Critiqued
"Different Ways..." by @Geezer
"Yes they have both done well Gee, what a naughty and nice holiday treat! I loved it. My only issue was with the line with the train, but it does work. Much love Gee!"
15 Thu

Received a critique
on Undercover angels from @scribbler
"Darn it! I wrote out suggestions to get rhymes closer and then see this is free verse lol. Well, I'll give them anyway in case you might want to use one or two: L-8 I'm not one to pray L-9 change started to began(just s…"
15 Thu

Posted a poem
Undercover angels
"It was half past 3 am on Sunday night"
Open thread 38 lines
October 2011
04 Tue

Received a critique
on Looking forward to 2012 from @weirdelf
"so you must be right! Well done."
September 2011
03 Sat

Critiqued
"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf
"I know I am not good at telling you I loved it and going with the flow, but I hope you know that means I read it and spent time thinking on it and didn't just let popular opinion dictate what I thought about what you wr…"
03 Sat

Critiqued
"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf
"Ummm I appreaciate the contrast contradiction, and orginality of the writing.. but I am with Kal on this, I have little to suggest. it is hard to make suggestions on something that does not flow in my own internal thoug…"
03 Sat

Critiqued
"To Ken, a good man" by @weirdelf
"I found this very touching Elf, Is it an ode or a rememberance? Or was he just a source of inspiration? I don't suppose you would share his name? I got the feeling of freindship and caring. An appreaciation for wisdom a…"
July 2011
30 Sat

Critiqued
"Postmodern yellow brick road" by @weirdelf
"I get the first verse, almost verse. But.... You think others fear you? Or you want them to fear you? I am unsure of why you have your line breaks the way you do? And your referances to others with labels, but then talk…"
18 Mon

Received a critique
on Looking forward to 2012 from @scribbler
"A rhyming free verse.......I kind of like that idea. It would read better if broken into stanzas in my opinion. And writing a political poem and hoping to avoid political arguments lol. Good luck with that! Good to see…"
18 Mon

Critiqued
"Kompliance" by @Esker
"Very smooth and flowing Esker, Org, Steven. What shall I call you now, you man of many names. Each one a differant face to the same being. A being of light and dark, forever free'ed by the words. Ecept for what I will a…"
17 Sun

Posted a poem
Looking forward to 2012
"As we approach the 2012 presidential campaign"
Open thread 22 lines
February 2011
15 Tue

Posted a poem
Not yet
"I try to be original, candid, funny and honest"
Open thread 18 lines
October 2010
31 Sun

Received a critique
on Olivia from @judyanne
"so sorry to hear of your friend's loss - there is nothing you can say - but just being there is the greatest help of all.... this poem flows easily and the slow rhythm brings a gentleness with the sadness perfect title…"
29 Fri

Received a critique
on Olivia from @lou
"A very emotional, well written piece. Love lou"
29 Fri

Posted a poem
Olivia
"The heavenly angels knew just what I wanted"
Open thread 20 lines
August 2010
27 Fri

Anniversary
One year of membership
July 2010
17 Sat

Posted a poem
Sick Kitty
"You haven’t read this nightmare yet,"
Open thread 28 lines
10 Sat

Posted a poem
Free me
"I wanna be free, so freakin bad,"
Open thread 13 lines
June 2010
27 Sun

Posted a poem
Necessities’ brave faces
"Not today am I brave enough, my"
Open thread 20 lines
22 Tue

Critique milestone
1,000 critiques given
20 Sun

Posted a poem
Ishouldawouldacoulda
"I may not have the right verse"
Open thread 16 lines
15 Tue

Posted a poem
Rain,
"A daily trip"
Open thread 23 lines
12 Sat

Posted a poem
Oral intricacies
"I mouth each new letter into life"
Open thread 19 lines
May 2010
31 Mon

Posted a poem
Angelic silence
"It was half past 3 am on Sunday night"
Open thread 48 lines
16 Sun

Most-discussed work
Five star whore's

36 critiques to date.
April 2010
15 Thu

Highest posting month
April 2010 — 10 poems
August 2009
28 Fri

First critique offered
on "The Recurring Theme" by @sumsum22
27 Thu

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
November 2008
05 Wed

First publication
Yes we can!!

About Me

About me

Family, home and friends. Simple truths and values made complicated by me is what I hold dear. And an open mind keeps me balanced, while logic keeps me grounded.

Location: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets

All of them

for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe

Dickens

way to many to list...

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

		Skill level:
Deep analysis of poetry	(syllabus)	Shark Pool	Started 2011-08-01	Concluded

15 years of membership

10 years of membership

on Olivia from @wesley snow

5 years of membership

"Killer Halloween..." by @Geezer

on Sick Kitty from @scribbler

100 poems posted

on Undercover angels from @loved

"LATE AUTUMN" by @scribbler

"Different Ways..." by @Geezer

on Undercover angels from @scribbler

on Looking forward to 2012 from @weirdelf

"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf

"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf

"To Ken, a good man" by @weirdelf

"Postmodern yellow brick road" by @weirdelf

on Looking forward to 2012 from @scribbler

"Kompliance" by @Esker

on Olivia from @judyanne

on Olivia from @lou

One year of membership

1,000 critiques given

April 2010 — 10 poems

on "The Recurring Theme" by @sumsum22

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

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