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My back log, I sure am not got to post it individualy,
http://www.neopoet.com/profileview/1985 This is a link to my actual back log.
What follows is a notepad mutalated translation of my back log where several poem have been mixed and messed up. I was going to erase it. But I don't like making things dissappear anymore. Julie, D.D.
Lost in his dream...
Earth song captures my attention,
surprise coming with out mention.
You are the one, the curtain call set,
moonwalk of life leaves my cheek wet.
Icon of a King in the fog left falling,
Media only left to console the balling.
Young and old now take to the street.
Strangers, in the middle we all meet.
A, B, C, it's as easy as 123,
as always it will mean to me.
Michael will forever mean Bad,
feeling the pulse making us glad.
All Left Remembering the time's,
a life of memories shining sublime
Thriller of pop, our Man in the mirror,
shedding for all the light a little clearer.
We are the children, he is our world,
Prince Blanket's Paris, his love unfurled.
I'll be there to love, so can you feel it,
Rock with you, as together we Beat it.
Please don't stop till you get enough,
Healing the world as a living is tough.
Smooth criminal, you were never alone,
Bubbles and Neverland, felt like home.
So Cry all the lost children's Butterflies,
Never a believer of the Dangerous lies.
I want you back, You've Gone to soon,
Scream over the Black and White moon.
The love you save, and the time you gave,
will live with us forever beyond your grave.
Julie
6/26/2009
Quote Michael Jackson,
“The way you make me feel
the way you turn me on
you knock me off my feet now baby,
our lonely days are gone..…”.
“Ain't know body's business but mine and my baby's…”.
You will be missed by the world Michael Jackson.
Precious time,
The slow disintegration of a mind,
there isn't a worse fate of it's kind.
The challenges multiply and combine,
such desecration of the mental shrine.
Knowing what she has had and now lost,
finding acceptance for the unfair final cost.
A strength glows from her weak frame,
as she carry's with in her little blame.
Sad, slow decline of a matriarch's reign,
her family is crippled with heart felt pain.
11 children, 14 grandchildren and 3 great's,
all desperately willing to deal with the fate's.
Little pin holes peppered like Swiss cheese,
a long, demeaning and debilitating disease.
Dear Mother, grandmother, and our valued friend,
we promise to stay with you to till the precious end.
Julie
3/20/2008
One sinner’s choice
I walk on up and knocked on Satan’s door,
no sooner than that, I was tossed on the floor.
So I stood back up as always, ready for more,
when I heard a cynical voice I knew from before.
“You come again, my brass and ignorant friend,
don’t you know it’s a destiny you cannot mend.
Not for you or yours, will the rules I rescind,
but your sheer determination I can commend.”
“Your pleas are a worthless waste of my time,
A deal has been made, it’s now rightfully mine.
Accept the truth because there is no rewind,
you should find acceptance to quit and resign.”
Never will I stop, or can you scare me away
I have come to retrieve what is mine this day.
Not an evil thought I will let stand in my way,
to take back my soul that you led astray.
“I ask you, what could you offer to your evil lord,
your eternal worth fell under your chosen sword.
My price is more than you could possibly afford,
you have nothing more to barter as a worthy reward.”
You know you speak lies and you mean to deceive,
any sinner that comes seeking only has to believe.
God offered me his trust and a last minute reprieve,
forgiveness is more than you could know or conceive.
So I stand at the gate and I command it to open,
my being is worth more than any trinket or token,
No matter the sins of flesh or those I have spoken,
for with grace and divine love my faith was awoken.
Julie Jesse,
I’ve had something to tell you for quite awhile,
there something about your daughter’s smile:-)
I tried ignore the truth, because it is easier,
but when I see her grin, you deserve to hear.
You may be my annoying younger brother,
but still you know me more than any other.
And when I think of how we had to grow up,
your the only one that might even give a fuck.
It’s hard to tell you that you make me proud,
our childhood sibling rivalry was usually loud.
I know you blame me for some of your pain,
and the lasting effect’s will always remain.
But when I see you two laughing on the floor,
smiling and tickling without a thought of before.
You make my heart swell for what you’ve done,
you’re showing your little girl that she is the one.
Our Dad, as you know, could not offer us that,
he could never step up and take his turn at bat.
So it truly is a miracle to see you so involved,
to witness your caring and determined resolve.
You have given your Daughter what we never knew,
a Father who care’s and who will always be there too.
Your sweet Abigail is lucky, and I am so very glad.
Not every father has what it takes, to be a good Dad.
Love your Sister,
Julie
3/11/09
Seeded vision’s
Moonbeams,
Inspiration comes in many forms
quick and fierce is the storm.
Thankful I am to be here today,
looking for knowledge along the way.
I asked the Man in the moon for his advice
he smiled and said ”It’s a toss of the dice.”
“Why might you ask me your earthy question’s,
what makes you think I might have a suggestion?”
Because you must see it all,
from your round luminescent ball.
Surely you know what I mean,
you have the best view of the scene.
“Maybe you should ask your Paw,
he is one of the wisest I have ever saw.
Or maybe the dwarf might know,
She has infinite wisdom ready to go.”
Good suggestion, I can not disagree.
Their patience and time is great testimony.
“Janice or Eduardo may have your clue.”
That’s all fine and dandy but I am asking you.
“Amartya Ray could probably save the day,”
Yes, he shines his light and has his way.
“Bright is the neon soul of electric blue,
Dark purple has a different shade with a clue.
Ann would surely have what you need,
the proprietress and her can shape a read.
Plus Lonnie always’ Love’s to please and play,”
I can not argue with anything you say.
“So why do you think that I am the one,
why don’t you ask my brother the Sun.”
If they had my answer I surely would,
I know they would help me if they could.
But you are the only one who can truly see…
How do the moon beams look shining down on me?
:-) He-he
Thanks for being such a great friend this week Moonman,
can you tell I appreciate how much you have cared!
2/22/2009
Julie
Fog
watch the Fog come in again,
A damp mist stealthily rolling in.
It block’s the sun’s warm ray’s,
making me wish for warmer day’s.
Shadow’s are not cast upon the ground,
this fog is much more close and profound.
It comes when chance has passed on by,
or when a dream end’s because I didn’t try.
I have a great family and a home,
so why do I feel the need to moan.
A job, a car, friend’s, and a choice,
but can anyone even hear my voice….
Thing’s will continue to come and go,
while I try and maintain, to put on a show.
I see you reach while I pull away,
standing next to me yet another day.
I dread the fog coming upon a whim,
sometimes it’s so thick I have to swim.
Anger and resentment come to mind,
and lot’s of pain and loss is what I find.
I strengthen my resolve to maintain the fight,
even though I will have to use all of my might.
Why does the fog choose to pick on me,
am I somehow deserving or so unworthy.
I want what you have, I really do.
it’s just so far away, I don’t have a clue.
I never actually made a decision,
just kept pursuing it with precision.
Putting everything first, before myself.
setting my moral compass on a shelf.
With such dedication I pursued my devil,
selfish in thought, not thinking on the level.
My fog still will not leave me alone,
chilling me clear through to the bone.
I lay awake at night dwelling on my pain,
listening for answer’s in the rhythm of the rain.
In desperation I pray for yet another day,
I make a plea and beg for a way to run away.
Clouded scenario’s race’s through my thought’s,
comprehension is something that I endlessly sought..
Had I thought about it, I don’t think I would have,
Only in a rare moment of chance, that I could have.
I never really believed I might actually do it,
I’m as shocked as you when it comes right to it.
May be if I had made a different choice….
held out my hand and listened to your voice…
I am sorry for the sadness and pain I have made,
after all your love and trust that you so freely gave.
My soul was lost and grey,
in a fog so thick I Lost my way.
Wandering in different direction’s,
desperately seeking a resurrection.
I can not change what happened,
or heal the heart’s I have flattened,
Know I regret my ultimate selfish action,
l wish your life full with hope and passion.
Please find some peace to not live jaded,
live in this moment, not so fogged and faded.
We will sometimes meet in your dream’s,
and you already will know what it mean’s.
You may feel me close, still right beside you,
that real feeling of us, that will always be true.
Your Love is now my only claim to living,
so even in my death you just keep on giving.
Thank you,
Written in understanding memory of my late cousin Kimbre’, we miss you. For her sister Beverly, And the rest of her family and friend’s as well.
Julie
02/13/09
My Best’est best friend for Renee,
11/27/2009
Friends and life sister's are the best,
but YOU are simply a cut above the rest!
Bright as a star that sit's in the milky way ,
always' willing to give it a try and ready to play.
Sensible, fun, and smart is why you always' shine,
No one in this world has a friend as great as mine.
Confident, brave and sure, I trust you above all.
When I am with you, I am more than ten feet tall..
Time together sealed the bond, now it is so very strong.
But distance and life now sing our sad and sweet song.
Absence does not matter to sister's of the soul.
Remembering to care and try is our primary goal.
I am so grateful for you, more than you could ever know.
If only I could send this wish with a present and a giant bow.
But please know I think of you with love, each and every day.
And that I eagerly await our time's when you can come and stay.
So I send my dreams to you, my soul sister and valued good friend,
May your life be filled with love, peace, and happiness, till it's far off end
Parent’s Nightmare.
I walked with my daughter to the store today,
on this morning that was cold, wet, and gray.
It started like most days that came before,
and I certainly expected it to be little more.
We took our two dog's with us for the walk,
even though they wanted to stay, so baulked.
My princess was excited as I knew she would be.
She asked me for candy and I told her we would see.
Done we were and almost on our way,
ready to say our good bye till another day.
And then this large looming figure arrived,
with it a spark to my memory was revived.
I knew his face right away,
I just saw a flyer the other day…..
He failed to notice my alarm or Glare,
"I like your poodle" he said with a stare.
I looked him in the eye's and saw his lie,
my little girl was one that had caught his eye.
My heart skipped a beat and I grabbed for my daughter.
That man has already taken little souls for the slaughter.
I raced home to the safe haven of all that is familiar,
I had to know if it was him, not just someone similar.
The information web is what I turned on,
as I hoped and prayed that I was all wrong.
But there he was in all his ugly plainness,
A predator who is no longer just nameless.
I may not sleep tonight or tomorrow,
I may need a little courage to borrow.
But mark my words and know they are all true,
If you come near my daughter, I will Fucking kill you.
written on 11/10/08
Let it Be.
Sweet and seductive are the attachment's that we hold dear,
heavy upon my heart falls the many stray whims I fail to fear.
I continue to pour in more energy with my destructive desire.
As I slowly burn my conscience upon the flames of the pyre.
Wicked are the quandaries I can create on my own,
that cut me deep and straight through to the bone.
My excuse's just add up while life still goes on all around.
Only ever wanting to pick my tired feet up off the ground.
The right decisions are much easier said than done,
Knowing that in this whole wide world I am only but one.
Trapped in a thick shell of guilt that I let hold me down,
Knowing the truthful answer's have already all been found.
I should choose today to give it all up and turn the page.
To not be like a gilded bird upon a perch within my cage.
So I search for the want to fuel my soul and make more of my life.
To add extra meaning and purpose to my role as a mother and wife.
One day soon I will feel and know the truth to set my self free,
To fly on the winds of chance no more and learn to just let things be....
Wrtten on 11/25/08
by Julie Tahor
Yes we can!!
The People have spoken,
And Barack is smokin'.
Do you feel the change in the wind,
can you feel the hope coming from with-in.
Are you more excited than ever before.
It finally feels like we have opened a door.
And we are the one's who made it real.
With the promise of hope and a better Ideal.
It's a historic event to say the least.
Definitely worthy of a giant feast.
Don't get me wrong it's all just begun.
There's a lot of work , with little fun.
Unity and hope has remained our theme.
As we all dared to hope for this dream.
Our future is brighter and sweeter than before.
I can't wait for the chance to learn so much more.
Thankful I am at this moment in time.
I am so excited I had to write this rhyme.
Don't let anyone tell us that we can't achieve our dreams.
If they don't understand, then they can't know what it means.
Don't forget the lesson's this campaign has taught.
So all of our efforts count and won't be forgot.
Respect, fairness, and dedication are what we have been shown.
And that there's a chance to have the American dream as our own.
The Audacity of hope was once just a book.
But now we all can see what vision it took.
As we raise our hands in celebration of the Promise.
A new era has dawned, the whole future is upon us.
Can we make the change? I say YES WE CAN!
Because finally we have found just the right man!
So let us all celebrate now and rejoice in the news.
What brought us together and secured the right to choose.
Come January 20 the history will be made.
And this feeling of hope I would never trade.
Thank you Obama for showing us how.
The future is upon us, the future is NOW!
Julie Tabor
Written 11-5 -2008
Joe,
The death of a friend.
Is never easy in the end.
With great sorrow and pain I say goodbye.
I hope you know I thought you were a great guy.
When I needed you, you were there.
People as good as you are few and rare.
If I could make a deal, I would.
I would give everything I have if I could.
My memories are what I hold dear.
Remembering you make's it all clear.
Long days fishing with you, or out in the field.
The stamp on our friendship has always been sealed.
Let you go, I know I should.
But as of yet, that does not feel good.
I look through picture's and think of you.
I love you Joe, I bet you never even knew.
I reach out to others with my heart.
I try to help them, it's a place to start.
Father, Son, Brother, Friend.
I am not sure how my heart will mend.
I have known loss, just like you.
So why does it still feel so bad and new.
I hurt no more than the next.
But I can only find relief within the text.
I Know I will feel your energy again.
But to last that long without my friend.....
That is why this is so hard for me.
To say Goodbye and wait for eternity.
I know I am not the only one.
Everyone's heart must weigh a ton.
But life moves on, as we all know it must.
I will never forget our friendship, I will hold it in trust.
I will think of you often and speak your name.
But nothing will ever again be the same.
I love you Joe,
R.I.P
Your friend Julie.
written on 10/28/2008
Heartbroken
I know your pain is done,
But mine has just begun.
My feelings are raw,
With the things that I saw.
Why did you have to go,
Only god will ever know.
The pain is fresh and deep.
However forever will I sleep.
Back and forth I blame myself,
I can see your picture on my shelf.
I cry when I go to sleep at night,
Your love will shine forever bright.
As I stare in to the star filled dark,
I think of how you made your mark.
Loyal and true,
All the way through.
Always your friend,
Till the very, very end.
They tell me I will be OK,
That's not how I feel today.
I want you back, I will make a deal,
I will sign it in blood with a seal.
Just come back to me, you will see,
Even though God was the one
that set you free.
This just can't be the answer for you and me.
This dyeing business sucks, don't you agree.
I wish the world could stop for me and you,
with only our memories to see me through.
My big beautiful baby,
it can't be true.
Just thinking of your pain,
can turn me blue.
I will never again save you from that tree,
or clean your coat and scratch that flea.
Oh God can you hear my plea,
can you ever give him back to me.
And to my surprise God spoke to my heart,
He will be waiting in heaven, he gets fresh a start.
- Written by Julie Tabor on 9/5/2008
In loving memory of Stranger the best Damn cat ever.
Unknown---12/20/2003----9/1/2008
Truth hurts. Pass it on.
It doesn't matter any more,
I don't want to open that door,
Tell me again what I do this for.
Do you remember how it used to be.
Now you won't even talk to me.
You grabbed my heart and took the key.
I cry and yell it all feels like a dream.
The end result is not what is seems.
It doesn't even help when I scream.
I pray and plead, can anyone hear.
I keep losing everything I hold dear.
I reach for you, I just want you near.
I turn my face to the sun.
I can't remember having fun.
No more, it's over, I want to be done.
It is all so clear to me some how,
I never really understood until just now.
these feelings are more than I can allow.
I remember now what there is to see.
I can feel who I always knew me to be.
Thank you for your Patience towards me.
The dark is hard and lonely to steer.
But with you at my side holding me near.
Our future and path will eventually be clear.
Written by Julie Tabor over 2008 finished
10-23-2008
My sister Sherlon,
There once was a lady Sherlon,
her hair is curly, and long.
Her family was tight,
she came for the night,
but everything went all wrong.
She looked to the right ,
she looked to the left,
" Don't any of you fools care you made me bereft."
"Why couldn't you listen,
I hate this position. "
She threw up her arms with frustration to fight,
this was not how she wanted to spend her night.
We never should have messed with are Sis, she's right.
But resolve it we must,
your feelings are just.
You had every right to leave us in the dust.
"leave me alone you said,"
he just couldn't get it through his head.
So I am on a mission,
and I hope you'll listen.
We are so, so, sorry for all the diss-in'
You make us complete,
and your always so sweet,
your love shines bright every time we meet.
So take your time to make up your mind,
you no where to find us, just one step behind.
Poem by Julie Tabor
With lots of love,
and an open heart,
I hope we have a place to start.
To the Jimmies'.
Love the Tabor's
Chosen leaf,
Laugh it up so I can smack you down
keep tossin’ ammo full of crap around
it’s time we settle this you fucking clown
your choice name, when I stand my ground.
I dare you to choke out your amends
then I’ll slam the door on you yet again.
Your as full as shit as you’re depends.
Wishing to be smug for all your friends.
Yes I may be have a just a touch of OCD
and I am social reject from all of society.
With a little devil trapped and almost crazy
screaming to be set lose and rampage free.
But if you really think that I might give a fuck
that you are down on your sad sorry ass luck
while tryin’ to give a reason to pass the buck
I will be happy to tell you what you can suck.
But then again if you choose to turn a new leaf
and prove it was worth all of the past grief.
I may possibly reconsider my original belief,
realizing that the end result was worth it to me.
Julie
D.D.
5/23/2009
Tragic last moments,
Exposed with in a blinding light,
chance pillaging mercilessly,
I retreat to the core of my Katra.
Frantically riffling through it contents.
trying to understand this moment.
Swirling vision and loud popping sounds
echoing from what seems to be very far off.
Barely penetrating and holey Desecrating
the sanctity of the world I have always known
Random stupidity leaving filth in it’s rampage.
I feel as my Aura goes limp with despair.
unwillingly readying myself to succumb to divine will.
Knowing only the consuming flashes of grief.
Beyond pain or fear.
For actions that now seem as if to be an eternity ago.
Some place far, far away…..
My ears ringing with a sensation that I can not place.
A metallic taste stealing in to my mouth
as I feel myself slump to the pavement,
unable to control or stop the momentum.
Morphing into withered husk of conscience.
Only a distant witness as an officer of the law,
sworn to protect and serve.
Serve the people….
Protecting the world from dangerous villains… like me….
As he approaches, weapon drawn and smoking,
kicking my gun from my limp hand.
That is the last image I register.
Accompanied with the comprehension of what I have done,
and what it will do to my family.
Wistful last thoughts.
As I am left to lay where I have fallen.
Where some how I died….
All in just a few tragic last moments…….
Julie
D.D.
5/31/2009
Young
You....us....forever
Sitting here again with you on this day
smiling with bright laughter in your eyes
next to you as you tease me and we play
never the need to try for us to spin lies.
Footprint's to mark our trail now behind
both walking through sand dunes of time
leading us to all we might ever find
a whole universe now yours and mine.
Satin Scarlet fading to waves of Azure
frothed with sprays of milky glitter wept
giving way to our love deep and yet pure
glinting the promise you've always kept!
Ebony seeps in, to our secret tryst
The luckiest pair to ever exist.
Julie
D.D.
My Hubby's Poem, I wrote it for him. I have been a little dark for his taste lately, mine to. Hope you all enjoy, everyday with my husband is a joy for me. Even when he is a butt head, I just don't tell him those days!
This is a Shakespearian sonnet, 14 lines, 10 syllables per line, ABAB CDCD EFEF GG
Deceits blade
There is another me deep down inside
suffering for the choices I once made.
A soul who lacks a core of self pride
as my options still continue to fade.
Pain now consumes me from deceits blade.
A prison I created all my own.
my ego held as collateral trade.
The eerie feeling that your not alone.
Spending each day safely within my zone
making excuses, I doubt my own self.
living a life that I can not condone,
hope now a mere trinket left on a shelf.
Waiting on motivation to make change,
a ghost of myself is all that remains.
Julie
D.D.
5/15/2009
Fictional, but relatable. Spenserian Sonnet, abab bcbc cdcd ee. My first Sonnet, thanks Tonya for suggesting I try one, I enjoyed it.
Mother of my heart
The mother of my heart, not blood,
who helped me become the soul I own.
and held me till I might turn to love
never to leave me to be alone.
Whose unmoved faith my heart did move,
patiently did she openly prove.
For all that you have given me,
I can return but love For you,
bound up the wounds I did not see
giving me hopes and passions new. Ray
My Wonder dog, ode to Richard
While out, I saw my Wonder dog today,
wishing he could come over and play.
Wearing his tuxedo of white and black,
his keen canine intelligence a mere fact.
His owner offering me the knowing nod,
knows I think him to be as a foolish clod.
Worth less then his lies and stupid games,
he lacks the common sense to heed or refrain.
Mouthing unmeant sentiments of gratitude,
while digging for something from me or you.
Keiko, unknowingly loyal to the Joker of Robe,
left with no choice of where to go, or who to know.
A Bull Terrior of such regal distinction and breed
left to play alone amongst the dandelion weeds.
If there was a choice that could be fairly made,
I would be the one who felt blessed and saved.
Julie
D.D.
5/6/2009
Richard once told me to write a poem about my “Wonder dog” I told him of, so I finally found the words for the topic. Keiko is a Bull Terrier owned by my neighbors cousin, living in a tarped mobile home in their driveway. Smartest damn dog I ever met. I have 4 of my own I love and adore, but none could compare to the calm and common sense of Keiko, who in my opinion deserves better than what he has, but asks for nothing and is happy with all. Inspiring in a sense. And a Damn awesome do
Burnt to ashes,
Clouds churning visions of guilt,
with in ebony moments,
scaring the rational,
laid siege with in walls of clay.
Pyre's witness,
painfully regretful collapse.
Billowing blankets of noxious poison,
branding a chaotic scene,
a total loss.
A tar torch against the horizon.
Headlines,
recrimination,
humiliation.
Embonpoint pinnacles perceived.
Lead upon a heart of golden glory.
Lines taunt above his brow.
Tears desperately refrained.
Banished,
Begging for a angelic intervention,
shall I pray on my knees in the rain.
Dyeing with internal flames wild.
Tracked by the implications,
traveling a forest of majesty
to be discarded and dismissed.
Doubts,
What if's whispered,
twisted,
Distorted.
Pained and slippery target,
a repelling magnet,
such the cost of conquering combustion.
Hypnotizing,
Hypocritical,
Not worthy of code.
Missing jumbo calico puzzles pieces,
lying affiliates of the three green giants,
ABC,
NBC,
CBS.
Technical tragedy,
in gusts of fueled winds.
Only ashes left to burn.
Julie
D.D.
5/6/2009
My husband works in Demolition and the building he was working in, a tech school, burnt to the ground. It was not his fault, but shook him up pretty bad. Top story on the five, six and eleven o'clock news. So sad. No injury's and was contained to one building. Scary and sad.
My Silent Brave,
My eyes open upon the valley and vista
Inspired war cry’s from every camp.
My brave brings me in on his pinto
a slow mesmerizing gait.
Hoofed rhythm soothing me,
calls from all around,
but I can not name the sentiments.
I am Led to a hide door,
warmth creeping from the cracks.
What exist behind it?
What does this mean for me?
Pulling back a curtain of fear,
I enter a different world.
Earth and fire invade my senses.
Furs and pelts become furnishings.
Wood and stone, now carved vessels.
Light dancing through threaded seems,
a foreign world all a new.
A shove from my back side,
no where left to run.
Do I want to?
I look at my Brave,
he has treated me well.
Brought me miles through the wilderness
we traveled,
learned,
discovered.
He doesn’t need to talk much,
his meaning are easy to interpret…
Speaking for both of us.
Who is he,
does it matter?
I should be afraid,
tremble at his sight….
Tremble yes,
but not from fear.
He has taunted me with his nearness
for almost a week,
his silence screaming more than words.
As his chest slid against my back over and over,
arms circling around me.
Lifting me,
shifting me,
Strength pouring from his massive shoulders.
Enticing me with his bare skin against my dress,
his manly aroma hypnotizing me.
His knowing grin telling me how sinful
he knows he could make me.
But not yet…
From fear to fever I have been driven
I changed as I crossed that dry prairie.
Now in possession of no common sense.
Reckless,
my Mother would have said…
…But she is not here…
He is.
I turn and ask him for his name,
he grins and pulls me down.
“Please tell me, What is your name?”
And with a half smile he leans in and
whispers in my ear,
“Ohitecka”
Lifting his finger to my lips.
engaging my silence.
Now sitting on my knees before him,
he slides his fingers through my long
auburn locks,
uncaring of the dust.
Looking at me straight in the eyes,
to the very center of my being.
His hands caressing down the curve of my waist.
moving up the cord on the front of my Dress
Unlacing it,
releasing my heavy milky white Breasts.
I have a moment of panic,
I don’t know what to do…
But I need not have worried,
he is a master of such skill.
More than happy to show me what I need to know,
teaching me what he wants,
how he likes it.
He nuzzles my pink areolas flicking his tongue gently,
sending sensations to unknown places.
Drawing wet circles of anticipation.
Locking his lips upon my nipple and softly suckling,
feeding our desire.
Grasping them as he would a ripe melon he is about to devour.
His callused palms starting at my ankles,
then sliding up my calf.
Slowly displacing my skirt and
exposing my pearly legs one inch at a time.
He lays me back against the thick fur of Buffalo,
eating me with his eyes,
showing the reason and hunger for stealing me from my parents farm.
Looking satisfied with his spoils.
Before I was aware I lay completely naked before him,
I have never seen my naked body in a mirror,
but the reflection from his eyes was all I needed.
I knew he approved,
and that he thought I was perfect…
I Could feel his excitement become my own,
as his finger’s explored places with racy names.
Warm and then Wet.
His tongue quickly following in their path.
My body responding with out thought,
my loins screaming from unknown pleasure.
I lay my hands on his head,
only capable of small whimpers.
While I can barley make out deep guttural growls
from the back of his throat,
taking me to heights I have never been,
dared.
He leans back and push’s aside his loin cloth,
his large throbbing member exposed,
guiding me down to it.
His eyes telling me what he expected..
I grasp his manhood with both hands,
and slowly extend my tongue.
Lightly I lick its engorged head,
feeling his heartbeat against my tongue as
I look out of the corner of my eye
to see his expression.
His eyes look to almost roll to the back of there sockets,
occasional slightly louder growls now emerging.
He pushes harder on my head,
I instinctually open my lips and
he raises his hips,
sending his manhood to the back of my mouth.
Almost confused as to why he would want to,
but the look on his face again,
tells me he does.
Again and again…
I was finding the rhythm to maintain my breathing,
rocking back and forth as if on ocean water’s.
Before I could think of what was to come next
He was pulling me up to him,
rolling his weight up and over me.
Spreading my legs with his own.
Again I felt a moment of uncertainty,
hesitation,
but riddled with the flames of wanting to know.
He poise’s his large hard erect head with in his hand
rubbing it around my moistened private lips
renewing my wanton behavior.
Teasing with pressure,
showing his patience for his own desire.
And in under a second he slipped a inch in to my woman hood.
claiming my virginity for his own.
Sharp,
tight,
unsure,
and again a tinge of fright.
Is this what he wants,
he can not fit it in that place.
But again the look on his face,
the stare in to my soul told me he did.
He continues slowly,
I do not stop him,
nor do I want to.
Soon his whole shaft has evaded me,
discomfort still present,
but now unimportant.
I then realize I am moaning aloud,
almost ashamed to recognize my own voice.
his keeps plunging ever gaining his speed,
he may split me apart.
A flood of pain subsiding to a
flow of pleasure.
For an eternity we make our own dance,.
sing our own song,
praying to gods of carnal indulgence.
He pushes faster,
harder,
and we both feel as
the crescendo of physical abandon
wash’s over us.
Both for once in complete surrender,
sweat dripping from our brow…
He lays back beside me,
and just as before he saying not a word,
we both seemed to drift in and out,
locked in each others embrace.
My fears vanquished,
my soul complete.
I could lay here forever…
but he has other thoughts.
As again he gives me that wordless look and
we started all over from the beginning…….
Julie
D.D.
5/3/2009
Murderess chills
I have tried to call you every day,
understand why you walk away,
I really want to believe you care,
if ever I need you, you'd be there.
Why can't it ever be just a little,
don't you wish to find a fair middle.
Put an end to this silly riddle,
to walk away without a quibble.
I wish we could choose to be civil,
proving again we can both go ”Cybil”.
Let’s pull the burnt meat off the griddle,
ending the need for this poetic drizzle.
Leave this never ending point,
smokin’ off the same old joint.
Who gave you the power to anoint,
I swear, you never fail to disappoint..
"Yes, Mommie Dearest, right away"
What else shall you require of me today.
I know my role, that's why we can't play,
until my foul mood knows where to stay.
Come on over here
sweet
little
girl.
My such
bounce and
pretty
curl.
Would you like
a piece of
candy?
There now
everything is
fine and dandy.
Absolutely
nothing to
fear.
I only plan to
slit you from
ear to ear.
Yes please
Go ahead
fight.
There is not a
soul anywhere
insight.
Sorry
there is
nowhere to run.
Let's go ahead
and have some
fun.
What might you
think
you can do
now?
Besides scream
like a
silly
stuck sow.
I can smell your
rancid
fright.
Do you know your
life ends this
night.
See my
cold
piercing
Steele.
Eight full
inch's
for you to
feel.
Are you
wondering
what I will do to
you?
I really
can't say
until I'm
through.
One
two
three
four.
May be just a
couple more.
Five
six
seven
eight.
Brutal
obsession
brings your
fate.
I love the
taste of your
crimson
blood.
As it spews
from your
body in a
flood.
A scarlet
pool of once
human
life.
Put to an
end
under my
knife.
Such a
limp
scarlet
rag doll.
Not an
ounce of
life
left at all.
The
cutest
Jagged
neck-tie
grinning up.
Such a
sweet
little
girl
who ran out of
luck....
I will take her
bracelet as my
prize.
Then disappear
with anonymity as my
guise.
Julie
D.D.
4/28/2009
So you all asked for it.
Julie Unhinged and evil.
It took a lot to for me to go there,
hence why it took me so long.
As you all know I am a proud parent,
and this is the worst thing I could imagine happening to them.
Cybil
Open door to the Dark side, Geezer’s Dedication. To me.
Through the open door I walk, looking for my accolades.
I never once have an inkling, that my feet are made of clay.
Clay that crumbles as I stride into the arena.
There are no cries of hallelujah, and I stand in the dust of once proud steps.
I look around and see no smiling faces, only feeling the cool breath of acknowledgment.
“Yes, you are here.” Our honors are reserved for a new hero.”
“You are the past.” Can you stand on the crumbs of what was?”
Bolstered by a few faint cries of encouragement, I make ready for the battle of my life.
If I am victorious, I may regain my former glory. I will accept the cheers of the crowd!
The audience blows cold to temper my sword of hot air.
Their lukewarm breath fans my cheek. “Show us some new moves!”
“Or are you all out?”
“Do you expect us to crown you with the laurels of victory, without having our entertainment?”
“We will have blood, sweat and tears!” You will perform, we care not which part you accept.”
“Be it victor or victim. You will play our game, or suffer the death of indifference.”
I choose another course, I will climb a different pedestal. I begin my ascent.
I follow a different path now. I will destroy them and their petty games.
I have gotten new feet of brass, and will stomp all over the altars where I once worshipped!
My heart of compassion is stronger than the old one filled with Pride.
It will deflect the blows of slashing tongues and barbs of sarcasam.
My hands will not clench into fists, they will grasp the arrows of hurt.
They will break the bows from which they have come.
I tire of conflict, it wears away your stones. Thick skin wears too!
Let me rid myself of the weight of you!
I am tempted, sorely tempted, to give you one last big show, to pull down the pillars.
Crash the coliseum on your heads like ’Samson’ .
No, as an old duelist, who grows weary of the constant challenges,
I will put down my sword and back away, returning to the world of sanity.
Through the door I entered.
My feet change once again, this time to wood.
I will find a lush place amid the dunes of desert.
There I will put down roots, and make it my private oasis.
You will not enter through my door, it is locked and the key lost.
No matter………. I will not leave here again!
Guide meridian,
But faith and grit have drug me this far,
Showing a traveler many tale’s.
Weaving a tapestry of purpose,
Pointing the way to prayed for salvation.
Suggesting the rewards,
While teasing with the unknown.
Sculpting a background of experience.
A mosaic of purpose.
Testing each learned skill,
Choosing to turn away from easier more traveled intent.
Not knowing where my Meridian might finish,
Yet grasping what it has brought me from,
And guided me through.
My Guide Meridian may not be the smoother adventure,
Or offer the security of a well marked road.
I may single my self out for greater strife,
Reaping my own prize.
I have passed up greater opportunity,
Turning away from the better lighted alleyway’s.
This well worn trail has been laid by the best,
And with dogged determination I pursue them.
So even in not knowing where it ends,
I can find meaning in the walk.
Time to listen to my own thoughts,
While considering others.
Unknown and difficult it may be,
It’s not a destination I seek.
But the means of getting there.
The honest pursuit of a goal,
Punctuating the lesson.
So I can reflect,
And be proud of the Journey when I arrive.
With the hopes others may choose to follow,
Rejoicing in all of the little rewards.
Julie
D.D.
4/21/2009
Dirty Litter’ers,
Gateway's through our National Treasure.
Mountains with trails, and river's of pleasure,
Miles of out doors fun available for leisure.
I just wish every one would respect it to a measure.
Our Highway were once paved with promise,
Knowing the responsibility belonging to all of us.
But now they lay lined with man's Trash,
While all of us keep driving right on past.
We want there to be something done,
As long as we ultimately are not the one.
So I guess we shouldn't expect it to change,
We all must be happy, as the garbage remains.
Now flick your Butt, and toss that Can,
lets just leave the mess for another man.
We teach our kids, it's what they see.
It's every one else's job, any one but me.
While pawning away such responsibility,
And yet wondering how they will turn out to be.
Implying that the rules do not apply to them,
If your not part of the solution, you are the problem.
What will it take to teach it all starts with us,
We must choose to jump off the unconscious Bus.
For people to change, we have to own it ourselves.
Lets all choose to begin with pledging to one's self.
There is a billion's example we could at least try,
And one of the easiest is what we drive on by.
So lets take the time to pick up some trash,
No longer able to justify what we all drive past.
Demonstrate our basic values to our kids,
Show we are not happy with the way it is.
Can we all muster a little community pride?
And no longer give Dirty Litter'ers a free ride.
Julie
4/16/2009
I was driving home yesterday and it appears that someone dumped their garbage literally the whole nine miles to my home. Tossing a can or bottle or bag out every couple of seconds. I find it quite disgusting to realize that this was most likely caused mostly by just one person. And now we all get the view of the garbage instead of finding peace in the Drive and enjoying the Scenic Byway I live on. I just wish it was something I could clean up myself, but 9 miles both ways. Come now that just ridiculous. It would take me forever. And I bet the trash bandit will strike again, he has done it before, just not this bad or covering such a large area. I am sure I will spend a lot of time doing it still, but I won't be able to do it all. I wish people could take more pride in our roads.
Easier for some, harder for others.
The real meanings are slow to come,
easier for others, but hard for some.
I wish I could tell you it will be OK, But it most likely won't.
I wish I understand exactly how you feel, but truly I don't.
I wish that death made some sense, but I doubt it ever will.
I wish I could lift your burden and help you up this steep hill.
I wish I could be there to hold your hand's while you cry
But all I have is my rhymes, but somehow I still have to try.
I wish the Lord could come and explain the meaning,
enlighten us both and show us what we are not seeing.
I wish that I had the words to tell my friend why,
Tell her why the fates said it had to be her guy.
But the answers leave my words at woeful loss.
It's not what I would have chosen if I had been the boss.
I wish I could write her something she can remember
Something to sooth her soul while it's torn asunder.
How can I protect her through the coming Sadness,
How can I help her to re-own her unique gladness.
I wish I knew how to lift her neon Electric blue spirit,
I want to tell you it will be OK, and you need to hear it.
Unfair meanings are slow to come,
easier for others, but hard for some.
What I want you to remember is that their is people who care,
You have many friends even if we can't all be right there.
I wish you to think of all that you both have shared,
and the many things he did that showed you how he cared.
And think of how worried he would be to see you so sad.
or even worse yet, truly upset, or the most dangerous, mad.
You must know that he would wish you to be happy.
that if could, he himself, would surely set you free.
You now carry his memory, his last claim to living
So again even in his death you just keep on giving.
So cry when you must, stay in bed another hour or twelve.
Make sure to put up all his picture's, upon every shelve.
Take a hot bath at least once every other day.
And remember that it never hurt someone to pray.
Make yourself a cup of tea or two when you are sad.
And remember to always be grateful for what you had.
learning meanings may be slow to come,
easier for others, but hard for some.
"Why me" has the power to tear your heart to shreds,
Mix, then roll a soul up, and bake it like bread.
First forgive him for leaving you so very alone.
Then forgive yourself, it was Gods will, not your own.
When you are ready my friend, it may take along while.
But I would be liar to say I knew about your coming trial.
So Saying "I am sorry" is the lamest, useless sorry answer of all.
It's the universal way of saying we know we dropped the ball.
But when we can come to realize their is no one to blame,
Then some how we able to realize that death is the same.
And when there is no ending, there was nothing to finish.
Not before the end of time will your true and lasting love diminish.
God's meanings can be slow to come.....
...easier for others, but hard for some.
4/16/2009
Julie
D. D.
Written for my Friend Electric Blue, my prayers are with her as she grieves.
Spin,
My own personal spin, where should I begin
all the things I did, that I would never do again,
Choosing myself last, blackening my past,
forever reflected through my looking glass.
A chance choice, a belittling harsh voice,
such small motivation to learn and rejoice.
Simple meaning, it didn't feel demeaning,
if only I had not wasted my time dreaming.
Have I found change, do all my flaws remain,
will I see reason to forgive myself for the pain?
Is forgiveness meek, is it wrong for me to seek,
will it always hang on trying to make me weak?
My guilt is now familiar, my vision is a blur,
sending all my feelings for a slow and wild stir.
I own my regret's, unwilling to bid on an unsure bet's,
knowing my own high standard's have yet to be met.
Julie
D.D.
3/20/2009
Randomly and dimly lit at times,
My gravely path of pebble’s.
No road signs to point the direction.
A way station every not so fair 50 miles or so.
Finding a gray cot, using my coat as my pillow.
Where it takes me, I know not.
We reap what we sow, improvising as we go,
hardly able to keep hold to what little we know.
Telling our folks, that we just wanna smoke,
no matter the consequences they can invoke.
Can't they all see, I just long to be set free,
showing the world what it means to be me.
What if I just wait and leave it up to random fate,
imagining if it might be ok for my dreams to deflate
Do I take a pass, falling in line with the human mass
knowing I might throw my chance away, like trash.
In the future I will rejoice, or regret my young choice?
Left to always wonder what happened to my voice.
Mature
We reap what we sow, improvising as we go,
confident of all of the little things we now know
Now we are folks, who still wanna little smoke
just to spite of all the consequences it may invoke.
Now I can see, and have learned to live free.
I showed the world what it means to be me.
Never could I wait, or leave it up to random fate.
or just stand by while all my dreams slowly deflate.
I did not take a pass, or follow the human mass,
or justify throwing my dreams out like trash.
No longer fearful to rejoice, in my young choice.
And I am here to tell you I now know my voice.
Aged
We reap what we sow, improvising as we go,
now aware of how very little we ever did know.
Now grand folks, who still don't mind a smoke,
But no longer abiding the consequence it may invoke
On the horizon I see, what it really means to be free.
Having shared with family what it means to be me.
I now wait, never again to dread my earthly fate,
knowing the time will come when I must deflate.
Never to pass, choosing to care for the human mass,
realizing that no one deserves to ever feel like trash
Grateful to rejoice, that I honored my young choice
and no matter what I did, I certainly never lost my voice.
Julie
D.D.
5-23-2009
Just little ole' me bending and manipulating my verse to my will.
Hot like a fire and bold as rich red wine,
sweeping me off my feet each, n every time.
Near a mountain stream on a sandy bank,
It was our garden of Eden, without the snake.
I was hooked like a fish, happy to be caught,
like moths around a flame that we both sought.
Stolen yellow rose waits, inviting me to a explicit tryst,
as my native brave calls to me from across the abyss.
We wandered among the pine’s, wishing to get lost.
Asking the earths spirit’s to name their eternal cost.
With a full moon on a clear summer night,
each not wanting to let the other out of site.
Ritual body cleansing and personally sacred vows,
witnessed only by the trees and a wise forest owl.
Both of us wearing only our confining skin,
his tender love guiding me from deep with-in.
We asked Mother cedar to give us her blessing,
while making sensuous love and barely resting.
Lustfully wrapping each other in fevered arms,
so open and trusting we could never do harm.
Ascending to the pinnacle of our inspired mountain,
both sharing visions that flow as from a fountain.
In that blinding moment of our total perfection,
the stars take notice, sending one for resurrection.
Passion keeps coursing from deep with-in our soul,
as a Seed is planted that will change our eternal role.
We were sent a blessing from the wise one’s up above,
a precious daughter for us to cherish, raise, and love…
So fairy tales and happy endings are so rarely ever true,
but our love story was delivered from the heavens eternal blue.
Julie
3/7/09
Gems
Well do you have anything to say
Are you aware of the pain you caused
Do you regret what you did each day
Did you ever stop and think to pause?
Can you know the total and final cost
Honestly, can you think you did no harm
Will your kids understand that you were lost,
valuing only what you could shoot in your arm?
So I ask you, what would you have me tell them
That your parents love you…just not enough
How could you choose drugs over such gems
I just don’t get why this choice was so tough?
I don’t know what to say, but I know what I won’t
one day they will ask when this is far and remote
I can’t I tell them you knew, you obviously don’t
So I will tell them the truth, and offer them hope.
That the future is bright, and not a contradiction
they are more then anyone else’s prediction
Having the power to move past such addiction’s
so that their promising future will know, no restrictions.
No matter the past that they might recall
or the doubt that resembles a cracking wall
I will be there to catch them if they should fall
and to cherish and protect them through it all.
Julie
3/17/09
True happiness cannot be bought
To hell with this they do not know what they ask,
they don’t even know what has transpired in my past.
Each day the papers pile higher in the basket,
feeling each one put another nail in my casket.
My child asks me to smile and to come and play,
I offer a nod and say “Baby girl, please not today.”
How about a sad story to spend some time,
that is more with pace for what is on my mind.
My Husband offers his voice with a laugh,
”come now my love, it’s not all as bad as that”.
He’s right you know, most of it is just a show.
We need not the material things we have let go.
I must count my blessing we still have the house,
I am ever so grateful for such a wonderful spouse.
My husband and children love me with out question,
our family and friends back me up with suggestions.
It is their disappointment and my shame I fear,
it all just came tumbling down in less than a year…
I spied a old bag lady on the street,
with hardly enough for a soul to eat.
And still she smiles as I walk on by,
offering what I feel I can barely even try.
I know that I will see the rainbow at the end,
but right now I am just approaching the bend.
So I will mark these day’s as a lesson taught,
and remember true happiness can never be bought.
Julie
2/26/2009
D.D.
3/17/09
Weight of the world
Ten feet tall and shoulder’s a mile wide,
strong as Atlas and a experienced guide.
The weight of the world with-in his hands,
warily, but willing to make a needed stand.
He carry’s his burden’s with a taunt, tight lip,
not letting his massive feelings appear to slip.
Without anger or precious pride he does his job,
praying and petitioning the heavenly ghost above.
Who can a father turn to when he needs an answer,
can anyone explain the emotions that can be stirred.
When a mother seeks solace, who can she ask,
will the powers that be answer the confused task.
Will the innocents involved understand the meaning,
can we truly know his pain without being demeaning.
So I offer my patience, while he does what he must,
so he can open his heart and find me worthy of trust.
He need not worry what any other’s might say,
no-one would ever dream of standing in his way.
And if I can help him in the tiniest bit I surely will,
no matter the time or the depths of his worded spill.
Julie
3/12/09
My Dark Mistress,
Yes, my Dark mistress, right away,
of coarse I will do anything you say.
I will fetch you your cape if you wish,
or turn in circle’s with a little swish.
I could bring you a fun young stable boy,
or find a strapping page to use as a toy.
Or maybe you are in the mood for a treat,
I saw a giant peasant lad down the street.
My Grace I will do anything you desire,
I will prance and dance around the Fire,
My only purpose is to serve you true,
and to find the meaning to all you do.
And one day I will earn my coven place,
you will come to me and up turn my face.
There will be a sweet brief moment of my pain,
then I will be with you forever while you reign.
3/12/09
Julie