Ishouldawouldacoulda

Julie. It's definitely relevant to the current situation (SNAFU). I appreciate the chuckle required with "Ishouldawouldacoulda". Thank you. :) -- 1.2: "Nor" --> should be 'or' I think. Will check and come back. 2.2: move "I" to after "long ago" to remove unnecessarily stilted word order. 4.1: "knowledge as strength" --> 'knowledge as [a] strength' A few other minor things seem to fall short because of the rhyme constraints, but it's no big deal and not enough to mess up the efficiency of the poem. But I feel everything deserves mentioning so it can get a second look: 2.4: This line may confuse the reader. I was not sure what was going on from the last line. This line jumps to a new topic/new sentence for the sake of rhyme, I think. But it does not successfully indicate that this is a separate thought (IMHO, of course.) 4.4: this line does not complete it's thought ("life is what we chose to make [it]") for the sake of rhyme. -- "Champions don’t always shine" --> so true. So many good hard-working people never get the thanks they deserve. Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe

in the last stanza line 3 , be willing to go that extra length. A tiny weenie tweak , I know but I like the poem the way it is. love lou xx

Love the title, love the update. Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe

A fab poem and very well written. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

WoW ! And it looks like alot of work ! I like it very much and true to the word.. Thanks, Mark people who hate attract people who hate and in the end they all end up hating each other

Sorry to get here late Jules I am slowly working my way through my friends list lol and catching up,but I've been very busy the last few days I have one line thats bothering me but i will come back when this place is quieter its a nuthouse here at the moment there are kids and their friends and their friends all over my house lol bunches of hugs and love JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

P.S title I shoulda-woulda-coulda athesticly looks better to me? but I like it either way its your pick huni love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Just the way it is. I think that the way it all runs in together, makes it really flow the way it is meant to. As to the line: Life is what we choose to make, I can accept that there isn't an [it] or something to define the end of the thought, because I took it to mean; life is a recipe, like for a cake, or a plan, for building something. Love ya, ~ Gee

great poem, DD...sincere and very well written...Faithmairee

This is awesome my friend, I really love the lines Champions don’t always shine dreams can turn for the worse people are not born divine each mind being so diverse You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down

I can add anything to what Kelsey said. *L* All in all, I really like it. I shouldawouldacoulda got here sooner and beat Kelsey to the punch, but I procrastinated too long. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin

love it all julie love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html