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LZ
Lil Z
Member since May 18, 2012
Member for 14 years
member
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Poems
171
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Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent
(Son): You think you kill me with your scoff
But “Dadda” it’s what I live off
I struck a match, career blast-off!
My life needs no consent
(Dad): You say this boy and you have guts
It’s either that, or you’re just nuts!
You’re just so lost, and you’ll get cuts
You don’t have the talent
(Son): I’m a fetus of performance
And I’ll grow with great importance
I don’t need your help or guidance
I’ll do this on my own
Read the rest of the poem Show less
(Dad): You’re not alone, for we’re entwined
You won’t do this! No son of mine!
Or anyone in my bloodline
Together we are sewn
(Son): At last I think I’ve found your fear
I’ll always hold your brother dear
However dad, if he were here
Ambitions, he’d rejoice
(Dad): His ambitions were his blunder
From that road left him asunder
Went from top to six feet under
You can’t make that same choice
(Son): I know you’re scared, but I have time
To find the ladders I must climb
Increase my joy of flow and rhyme
For who I want to be
(Dad): I guess you’re right son, it’s your life
I hope you have kids, with a wife
To let you go will be my strife
But later, you’ll be free
Lil Z’s timeline
- May 2022
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18 WedAnniversary
10 years of membership
- May 2017
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18 ThuAnniversary
5 years of membership
- May 2013
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18 SatAnniversary
One year of membership
- May 2012
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18 FriJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
- July 2010
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19 MonCritiqued
"Spreading Her Wings" by @TaylorMishel
"This is an exceptional poem, it was very well written and established. The language was fantastic: "She wears a face an angelic look only seeing such things in a book" and: "For an angels face so pure and true. She spre…" -
19 MonCritiqued
"Across the Dingo Tracks " by @Seren
"Great write, I enjoyed this very much. There's one tiny suggestion I have for the second stanza on line two, I was thinking 'from' would be the better preposition than 'of', and I was thinking it could read something li…" -
19 MonCritiqued
""To Treasure"" by @shirley harrison
"And I found the gold, a great poet! Peace and love, Lil Z" -
19 MonCritiqued
""The worst dream ever"" by @shirley harrison
"Nice to meet you, I'm Lil Z, and I wanted to say I enjoyed this poem very much. It was funny, upbeat, and entertaining all in one, a great joy!" -
19 MonCritiqued
"Fortress" by @katplath
"Welcome to Neopoet Katplath, this was a very deep write! I love the imagery and depth of language, it was very well written, and an excellent first post!" -
19 MonCritiqued
"Introspection" by @Lonnie
"It was very well written, the flow is different on this one, at first I thought the third line in each stanza broke the rhythm, however, reading it over a couple more times I see that the entirety of each stanza goes to…" -
18 SunCritiqued
"SINS of the FLESH" by @scribbler
"Perfect title, you threw me off completely, great write!" -
18 SunCritiqued
"Daddy's Rose Garden" by @magics02
"I loved the reference, the language was superb made it very enjoyable! You're Mona The Eloquent! Sincerely, Lil Z" -
18 SunReceived a critique
on Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent from @ifoundaplace
"That's awasome! Good job (: Dani" -
18 SunReceived a critique
on Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent from @magics02
"You got it going on friend with this piece. You amaze me of your talent and I am so happy to have met you here on Neopoet and hope you stick around so I may continue to see your growth as a writer and a song writer also…" -
18 SunReceived a critique
on Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent from @Loreli
"I was there with you in this conversation... Your ability to rhyme is wonderful! Lori" -
18 SunReceived a critique
on Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent from @xena465
"Great addition to your first one Lil it’s a very creative idea for poems well done. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell" -
17 SatPosted a poem
Conversation with Dad part 2: Father's Consent
"(Son): You think you kill me with your scoff" -
16 FriReceived a critique
on Visible Problems, Hidden Solutions from @magics02
"I will try the challenge for you for sure. You can pm me with some ideas if you like Love at ya lil z Mona xooox" -
16 FriReceived a critique
on A Serial's Mind from @loved
"i serialise it as gr888888888888888888888888888888" -
15 ThuReceived a critique
on Things to Say from @magics02
"ANd drink from that fountain of youth love peace your own song Lil Z.... grooving right along:) Love at ya guy Mona xoxoxo" -
15 ThuReceived a critique
on Visible Problems, Hidden Solutions from @magics02
"This one you should send into a literary magazine. You say you are only 13?? Wow I am impressed with your works and wanted to let you know that. I will be waiting for your spoken word soon as you challenge yourself to g…" -
15 Thu
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04 Sun
- June 2010
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26 Sat
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25 Fri
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25 Fri
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24 Thu
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23 Wed
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22 Tue
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21 MonFirst critique offered
on "Revolving Door" by @xena465
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21 MonFirst publication
Spades to Hearts
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21 Mon
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15 TueHighest posting month
June 2010 — 6 poems
About Me
Recent Work
A Serial's Mind
Posted:
An Unlucky Age for Depression
Posted:
Oh Jimmy, How Badly You Stink
Posted:
Things to Say
Posted:
Spades to Hearts
Posted:
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