Seren

Jul 18, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Across the Dingo Tracks

My desire
to understand all this
is neither here,
nor there

my heart
weeps of this lifetime
we shared, and as
no repetition or Déjà vu
can follow

I watch
each memory pass
and my chest aches,
with all the smiling faces
whose love,
is lifting you on your way

my soul is forever
sealed in the blood
that reared and pressed me
against the breast
of the Canis lupus dingo

I now walk alone
a white speck,
on red dust

and my howl
rises to ebb
the night

— Seren, Jul 18, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

U K Atiyodi

16 years ago

Each individual is alone in

Each individual is alone in this world with his own problems. Sharing is only superficial. This world consists of our own thoughts and actions. Face the odds in life with outstanding courage. fear is the root cause of all evil. Bravo. Best of luck

Seren

16 years ago

thanks for the lovely

thanks for the lovely comment ... we are all alone at the end of our journey's love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dearest Jayne

I think you could lose lines one through four and it would make for a stronger poem. I love the rest. My favorite lines: my soul is forever sealed in the blood that reared and pressed me against the breast of the Canis lupus dingo I now walk alone a white speck, on red dust and my howl rises to ebb the night Love, Cat

Seren

16 years ago

I am not sure about that

I am not sure about that first verse I will think on it overnight and see if i cant work out a fix ... thanks for your honesty you always pinpoint the one point I have trouble with lol ... love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

scribbler

16 years ago

tracks

I liked this.Maybe delete"needful" in line 1? Ending showed your love of outback as strong as mine for deepwoods........scribbler

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Stan

I am a bush girl I was brought up in the bush and I have a deep love for the land most of my family have properties, both sides of the family, so school holidays were spent on bigger outback stations (grew up on a Dairy farm) lol I can shoot, ride motorbikes, horses, tractors, harvesters, ATV's lol yeah I was a tomboy growing up thanks for the comment I am not sure about that first verse i am really tired tonight might have a think on it and fix it in the morning thanks for the suggestion I am pretty sure I am going to remove that needful I think your right love and hugs JayCee x x (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

Kailashana

16 years ago

Dingo, wolf, dog star, what

Dingo, wolf, dog star, what trail we leave on our lonely path? Who will follow? ~ "There is a kind of mysticism to writing." ~ Irvine Welsh

Seren

16 years ago

the future would follow …

the future would follow ... with or without a white speck of the dust, writing poems in the sand love and biggest hugs JayCee x x x (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

Anadanlee

16 years ago

Seren

I like this poem, can see the love. I'm new here, so I'll be checking out your poetry. Danlee

Nordic cloud

16 years ago

Seen forever like the stars.

Ann of Norway I agree with Cat. Lolloping along into the wide wide bush land the wolf becomes a speck against the red earth and its speck is seen forever like the stars. Ann with my love Jayne Chloe.

Lil Z

16 years ago

Seren!

Great write, I enjoyed this very much. There's one tiny suggestion I have for the second stanza on line two, I was thinking 'from' would be the better preposition than 'of', and I was thinking it could read something like this: "my heart weeps 'from' this lifetime that we shared, as no repetition or Déjà vu can follow" It's just another option, it's a superb write either way! Peace and love, Lil Z

shirley harrison

16 years ago

so very beautiful!

JC This is beautiful, your soul is definately felt by me in this write! with much love shirl........ shirley harrison

Dennis Go

16 years ago

This is another splendid

This is another splendid write! I've read the suggestions of others to remove verse one. It would make the delivery of the piece more direct to the point. But it's all up to you. It's still a splendid piece! "And my howl rises to ebb the night" - I love your ending.

DawningDaytripper

16 years ago

Deep stuff here Jayne, I

Deep stuff here Jayne, I will have to give this some thought before attempting a suggestion. Great read. Julie D.D. Hello all, come and join us in Live chat! Meet n' greet, Neo night, lonely poems, teen night. We have something for everyone, come and meet your community!

xena465

16 years ago

Superb JayCee

I can feel your love of the outback in you beautiful words. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

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