Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Breakinglogic
Member since April 29, 2009
Member for 17 years, 1 month
member
new member
40
Poems
535
Comments
4
Followers
Most recent
falling stars
Another shooting star
I refrained from wishing,
having watched it
disappear
Breakinglogic’s timeline
- April 2024
-
28 SunAnniversary
15 years of membership
- July 2023
-
15 SatReceived a critique
on Soon! from @Ruby Lord
"It's as if you're painting the transition from season to season and it was flawless. Your imagery is vivid and the rhyming structure consistent. Use of aliteration is great: "and forest fawns will plot with friends "not…" -
14 FriCritiqued
"PIGGLY LANE - warning explicit" by @Ruby Lord
"This is good work and deserved a comment and I so happened to have the focus and energy to provide my take on that. I do not think this was dour at all. It was very fun! If that was your intention, you've done it. Thank…" -
14 FriCritiqued
"A Long Goodbye" by @William Lynn
"Sad and compelling. Bitter in theme and sweet in tone. I wasn't sure at first if an hourglass was really the right analogue for the metaphor you are after in stanza 6; however, after some reflection and reinterpretation…" -
14 FriCritiqued
"PIGGLY LANE - warning explicit" by @Ruby Lord
"You've accomplished well, I think, what you have said you are attempting. I don't know what the specifics of the challenge were but this is definitely light and sing-song-y. A quick note to address the AI's suggestion w…" -
14 FriCritiqued
"Time is Precious" by @Dev
"Please consider including an English translation / version of your work. It is difficult for me to review your poem because, not understanding Hindi, I cannot interpret your meaning in the way you want and I am sure tha…" -
09 SunCritiqued
"I Am Done " by @Mr joghe
"Let's start with the fact that I disagree with the neopoet ai response, point for point, on every criticism. To address the particular areas you have elected to focus a review/response on: The theme I think is particula…" -
09 SunCritiqued
"The weight of it" by @Jenifer James
"Interesting imagery. Violence / red cheeked / birth / coagulation All evoke the color red. I kind of wish that you also included that theme in the line "the belly of clouds." The red belly off clouds, for example. Then…" -
09 SunCritiqued
"Lingo perplexity" by @Richard Milne
"Felt like the first stanza initiated a good rhythm and rhyming pattern but then I was quickly lost with the follow on stanzas. To borrow the poems words, I'm not sure I get this. Both feckless and feck are words. Is thi…" - June 2023
-
22 Thu
-
20 TueNew follower
@Seren
- February 2022
-
03 ThuReceived a critique
on falling stars from @Entend2u
"This poem gives me a funny feeling because it is at once descriptive of a split second but then again the description of eternity - history is a pattern of timeless moments (Eliot) - All things must pass (Harrison). Will" - November 2021
-
21 SunReceived a critique
on falling stars from @Catherine DeGear
"It's simple and to the point. Short poems are not easy (at least not for me) so I admire anyone who can do with seeming ease. Catherine" - October 2021
-
05 Tue
-
05 TueReceived a critique
on falling stars from @Geezer
"your distillation, but am not sure that you didn't carry it too far. The gap between the the last word and the previous three, I think is too great. It makes it seem disconnected. Maybe a simple thing as lessening that…" -
05 Tue
- February 2021
-
21 SunReceived a critique
on Earthquake redacted from @Ray Whitaker
"It works for me tho, liked this one a lot, the highly disturbed Dr is a bit shocking, however somehow fits this poem in a way I really don’t understand. The redaction thing was a edit tool that I learned from a great te…" -
21 SunReceived a critique
on Earthquake redacted from @Ray Whitaker
"It works for me tho, liked this one a lot, the highly disturbed Dr is a bit shocking, however somehow fits this poem in a way I really don’t understand. The redaction thing was a edit tool that I learned from a great te…" -
12 FriReceived a critique
on Earthquake redacted from @Rula
"I do really appreciate innovative poetry forms and yours a good example of the form. I believe it might work with some texts better than others, but I never think that it is an easy job as it seems to be.will like to tr…" -
09 Tue
-
09 TueNew follower
@lovedly
- July 2020
-
29 Wed
- April 2019
-
28 SunAnniversary
10 years of membership
- August 2018
-
22 Wed
- April 2014
-
28 MonAnniversary
5 years of membership
-
24 Thu
- August 2011
-
22 MonNew follower
@Tonya
- May 2011
-
04 WedNew follower
@loved
- June 2010
-
22 Tue
-
02 Wed
-
02 Wed
- May 2010
-
26 Wed
- April 2010
-
28 WedAnniversary
One year of membership
-
18 Sun
-
11 Sun
-
03 Sat
- March 2010
-
28 Sun
- May 2009
-
15 FriHighest posting month
May 2009 — 6 poems
- April 2009
-
29 WedFirst critique offered
on "SERAGLIO --revised" by @Geremia
-
29 WedFirst publication
Masks
-
28 TueJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
About Me
About me
Still trying to find my lenses
Location: California, USA
Recent Work
Reality
Posted:
When I Walk
Posted:
Mr. Media Man
Posted:
Life, Death and Mabel ~Chapter 1
Posted:
the kissing blade
Posted:
Stained
Posted:
Masks
Posted:
Contest Wins
This member has not yet won any contests.
Workshops
| Skill level: | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| RHYME PATTERNS (let's begin) | (syllabus) | Splash Pool | Started 2021-02-24 | Concluded |