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Hell Lake

It feels like
The blood's evaporating
Out the top of my head
Light headed I hang
Hung over and beat red
With my eyes rolled back
And this rope around neck
Watch the hue turn blue
As I hang over deck

My limbs soon numb
All I can think of is hell
Somebody please
Somebody get me some help
I've made a mistake
This fuckin rope is so tight
My feet are done twitching
But I can't see any light
And I fade black
Open my eyes wide
Satan is waiting
But the fire here's died
He says too many
Like me have arrived
Cried out the fires
Their tears just
Couldn't be dried

So here I float
In luke warm pains
Drifting nowhere
As the sadness rains
And hits my face
And Its easy to taste
The bitter sweet
Sorrow we all make
— Breakinglogic, May 26, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: California, USA

More from this author

Critiques

G

Grassfield

16 years ago

hell

we do seem to make our on hell...enjoyed the read...
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Heavy stuff BL

Sounds like you're in Limbo. Brilliantly written…I really enjoyed your feelings expressed in this. Rosina xena465
Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

16 years ago

Thanks so much Rosina :) you

Thanks so much Rosina :) you know, I see you around the site a lot, always reading and commenting, Im going to make it a mission to read through your recent writes I may have missed. Thanks again for the read, not sure I'm brilliant yet lol maybe with practice :) peace and cheers, logic
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Re: Same here

I noticed that you were very good at commenting on people's poems and decided to have a read at yours. I think more people should read and comment, even if it’s just to say you like a poem. It can be very uplifting and encouraging. Rosina xena465
S

scribbler

16 years ago

hell lake

what an original take on hell.Perpetual blandness.Hmmmm....sounds like gov't employment.Keep working with those powerful descriptions.....scribbler
loved

loved

16 years ago

appreciate and more

Appreciate and comment Then no poet nor writer Can lament A comment uplifts the whole It helps the poet To raise his soul Above the clouds About to drain Let him soar high Ere it upon him does rain And his poetry forever does Wet remain loved and lovely www.triond.com lovelyhoney
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years ago

Great description of hell

Great description of hell for some, because that nothingness is its own hell. Very interesting although slightly depressing. But with topic that is to be expected. Really is moving in such a disturbingly emotional plea for help. Thanks for sharing, I don't know enough about your writiing for suggestion, but will try to read more. Julie D.D.
B

BrightEyed

16 years ago

wow

This piece is amazing. It reminds me of my best friends style of writing. Hes my hero. Great job. Cant wait to read more. -bright eyed
greeneyes

greeneyes

16 years ago

wow

Powerful! I really enjoted this. Great description, visually powerful! Greeneyes
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

16 years ago

Point Man

lOGIC. In my oppinion this was a fine and well placed poem. I care not that fools have no clue of life. I ponder the day as to the morrow and say only this. Where on this world will we stand and fight. Look down my friend as it is just me holding your feet. Pull both fourty fives and walk to the street. Kill everything in sight if that is your need. My life is undone I will be just to the corner of your mind my friend. Lets go Lets go Lets go U.S.M.C Steven A. Kacer
R

Restlesslittlesoul

16 years ago

Really love this poem - the

Really love this poem - the feeling and the rhythm/pace. Basically, the structure. But the most important part is undoubtedly the feeling... It could be exquisitely written, but if it didn´t touch me, made me feel something, it would not matter. For some reason, it reminds me of my poem Panic Attack. I shall post it one of these days. Great piece of work, Logic! http://restlesslittlesoul.webs.com