Torment

bruising as it is, haven't looked at any of your other work but I will, one thing if I may, (His) every word (is) a tick and he (is) so thirsty for her (will) gladly kick her legs out before she jumps just thought that perhaps the use of he and his might be a little overdone there, perhaps unnecessary give the edgyness of those lines. cheers Craig

this is amazing- the story in it is aweful, and terrifying, but happens every day. fantastic write. deserves to be in the spotlight! i especially love the line "Every tongue tied noose that stumbles". the one line (i'm not sure what to change it to)"Like every bitch before And he’ll continue beating the poor bitch" - maybe insteand of using 'bitch' twice, switch the second one so the first one has more effect? just my suggestion :) m

Powerful poem here you did. Very good also. It is a dark one but one that tells me of a violence in a relationship where one takes it and takes it until there is no way out and in the end results in a death or serious injury. Is this a fictional poem or a true to life poem. How are doing my great Marine Son!! Miss chatting with you. Love Mona xoxoxo TIME well spent is TIME well lived

A dark effective comment a violence. Like it! Lou

I really hope it isn't true, there have been so many women in my life (family and not) that have put up with that kind of shit from assholes that think they're God.. The writing is really good. I can almost taste how pissed you are..... I really hope it isn't someone you know. I know how hard it is to just watch while a woman just takes it and won't leave and you can't make her see sense.

Pathetic...this is a worse behaviour Than of the girl I wrote about In a similarly coincident perhaps Title you may like to peruse. Well some women are as bad As men, If not worse All said and done, It’s beautiful When put in verse. LOVED IN YOUR FAVOUR I HAVE CHANGED MY TITLE TO HER TORMENT NOW ITS IN EVOLUTION U MAY LIKE TO have a look 222222222222

I don't like any kind of abuse. But it happens every day. So we should not bury our heads in the sand about it. Anyone who reads this poem. If you see yourself in this poem, Run. Well written poem. Take Care. huey

Logic, this is a well written short insight into abuse. I would have liked to know more about both parties, but I was compelled to read all the way through none the less. I particularly liked these lines: Every tongue tied noose that stumbles Out of his blatantly spiteful lips I would be interested to know what inspired this write. All in all a tightly wrapped up poem. I enjoyed it, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".