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DawningDaytripper
Member since August 28, 2009
Member for 16 years, 9 months
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Sick Kitty
You haven’t read this nightmare yet,
sometimes I drink just hoping to forget
I have known the pain that it can cause
to do it all again without even a pause…
It’s my self destructive neutron spiral
a dissection of a mad helix, gone viral
telling hell that I have warmed over again
but what’s the real difference in the end
Fuck it all! No one knows how I’ve tried
or that I was willing to lay down and die
tried killing myself with drink and smoke
It feels like I am surviving a really bad joke
Turning on a dime for just another chance
screw the fantasy of the clouded midnight dance
Read the rest of the poem Show less
take me somewhere I haven’t been before
I’d follow like a sick kitty who just wants more
If I could dare, I just might not simply follow
but I only find myself empty inside and hollow
grasping at chemicals I already know don’t work
but lacking in desire to find a new will to assert
Selfish, indulgent, parting with the last remark
how did I end up at the deep end in the dark
what possessed me to think my mind could cope
capable of more than tying the hang man’s rope
Who did I think I was, that I had what it took
I am pretty sure this shit was never in no book
a never ending well to a bottomless barren pit
I am left hardly knowing within who’s skin I fit
DawningDaytripper’s timeline
- August 2024
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27 TueAnniversary
15 years of membership
- August 2019
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27 TueAnniversary
10 years of membership
- April 2015
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03 FriReceived a critique
on Olivia from @wesley snow
"but the subject precludes my offering them. It is beautiful and sad. I can't say I liked it because of the sadness, but it is good poetry." - August 2014
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27 WedAnniversary
5 years of membership
- November 2013
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03 SunCritiqued
"Killer Halloween..." by @Geezer
"Hello old friend, I loved popping in to find this Halloween Jem! What a nice read. I am so glad to hear killer is going strong and I loved his rythem and ryhme.. I do have an idea or two. But I forgo those in favor of s…" - April 2012
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14 SatReceived a critique
on Sick Kitty from @scribbler
"Where you been hiding? lol. This reads like somebody way beyond any hope and ready to move on...........stan" -
13 FriPosting milestone
100 poems posted
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13 Fri
- December 2011
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20 TueReceived a critique
on Undercover angels from @loved
"Thanks for ur sabbatical and u return to inspire me again ... I can't post here my refrain , do read it in my domain thanks" -
19 MonCritiqued
"LATE AUTUMN" by @scribbler
"I LOVED this rhyme! It is not perfect, close, but I can see its potential. Brillant first stanza, Second stanza last line does not sit well with me though, the last line feels forced. May I suggest Threatning to release…" -
19 MonCritiqued
"Different Ways..." by @Geezer
"Yes they have both done well Gee, what a naughty and nice holiday treat! I loved it. My only issue was with the line with the train, but it does work. Much love Gee!" -
15 ThuReceived a critique
on Undercover angels from @scribbler
"Darn it! I wrote out suggestions to get rhymes closer and then see this is free verse lol. Well, I'll give them anyway in case you might want to use one or two: L-8 I'm not one to pray L-9 change started to began(just s…" -
15 Thu
- October 2011
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04 Tue
- September 2011
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03 SatCritiqued
"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf
"I know I am not good at telling you I loved it and going with the flow, but I hope you know that means I read it and spent time thinking on it and didn't just let popular opinion dictate what I thought about what you wr…" -
03 SatCritiqued
"Hard Man (revised)" by @weirdelf
"Ummm I appreaciate the contrast contradiction, and orginality of the writing.. but I am with Kal on this, I have little to suggest. it is hard to make suggestions on something that does not flow in my own internal thoug…" -
03 SatCritiqued
"To Ken, a good man" by @weirdelf
"I found this very touching Elf, Is it an ode or a rememberance? Or was he just a source of inspiration? I don't suppose you would share his name? I got the feeling of freindship and caring. An appreaciation for wisdom a…" - July 2011
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30 SatCritiqued
"Postmodern yellow brick road" by @weirdelf
"I get the first verse, almost verse. But.... You think others fear you? Or you want them to fear you? I am unsure of why you have your line breaks the way you do? And your referances to others with labels, but then talk…" -
18 MonReceived a critique
on Looking forward to 2012 from @scribbler
"A rhyming free verse.......I kind of like that idea. It would read better if broken into stanzas in my opinion. And writing a political poem and hoping to avoid political arguments lol. Good luck with that! Good to see…" -
18 MonCritiqued
"Kompliance" by @Esker
"Very smooth and flowing Esker, Org, Steven. What shall I call you now, you man of many names. Each one a differant face to the same being. A being of light and dark, forever free'ed by the words. Ecept for what I will a…" -
17 Sun
- February 2011
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15 Tue
- October 2010
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31 Sun
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29 Fri
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29 Fri
- August 2010
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27 FriAnniversary
One year of membership
- July 2010
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17 Sat
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10 Sat
- June 2010
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27 Sun
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22 TueCritique milestone
1,000 critiques given
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20 Sun
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15 Tue
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12 Sat
- May 2010
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31 Mon
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16 Sun
- April 2010
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15 ThuHighest posting month
April 2010 — 10 poems
- August 2009
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28 FriFirst critique offered
on "The Recurring Theme" by @sumsum22
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27 ThuJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
- November 2008
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05 WedFirst publication
Yes we can!!
About Me
About me
Family, home and friends. Simple truths and values made complicated by me is what I hold dear. And an open mind keeps me balanced, while logic keeps me grounded.
Location: Robe valley, WA, USA
Favorite Poets
All of them
for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe
Dickens
way to many to list...
Recent Work
Into the Rye, (Updated)
Posted:
Abigail and Laurali
Posted:
Procrastination tactic's
Posted:
Laugh along the lines
Posted:
Shock value
Posted:
Craftsman sink,
Posted:
Contest Wins
This member has not yet won any contests.
Workshops
| Skill level: | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Deep analysis of poetry | (syllabus) | Shark Pool | Started 2011-08-01 | Concluded |