dina grey

Member since April 16, 2013

Member for 13 years, 1 month

member

21 Poems

46 Comments

0 Followers

Most recent

The Smell of Life

Posted Apr 17, 2013 · 12 lines · 5 critiques

The smell of life
is drowning into a pool of void.
Closer, death comes, everyday to say "hello you".
The body changes, the taste, the smell, sour and mingeled-
I can taste your decay, swallow my fears with a hard, ragged choke.
For you, I cannot pave a path of spirit, god knows I tried.
I cannot help you with your fears, when you give them no voice.
I do not live in denial, I cannot hold your hand down that road, my friend.
I just stand and watch you struggle to breathe, wondering, hoping, is this the last one?
I get angry. I get sick. Yes, I get angry. Be strong. Die with dignity. Allow those who you love, help. I feel so sorry for you, as you trust not one.
Your world shrinks day by day, breath by breath.
There will come a time, soon, your last gasp, your last exhalation.....then, you will finally be free.

dina grey’s timeline

April 2023
16 Sun

Anniversary
10 years of membership
April 2018
16 Mon

Anniversary
5 years of membership
April 2014
16 Wed

Anniversary
One year of membership
April 2013
19 Fri

Received a critique
on The Smell of Life from @wesley snow
"I am "post" crash, so my PM reflected that ignorance. Therefore, Welcome back. I agree with Seren's suggestion to clip the lines. Not the content per se, but they read too easily as prose with their length. A few judici…"
18 Thu

Received a critique
on The Smell of Life from @Ian.T
"The struggle in defiance of that last journey is hard, that you have been there is beyond words. Try not to listen with the ear, but listen with the mind, in there is a glow that is protected yet can give out all anyone…"
17 Wed

Received a critique
on The Smell of Life from @eightmenout
"I like where you are going. Look forward to the edit 8"
17 Wed

Received a critique
on The Smell of Life from @Seren
"I really liked your poem the only suggestion I could make was to shorten the lines and break it up into stanzas, at the moment its leaning towards prose I think you have a winner with this poem it just needs a few tweak…"
17 Wed

Critiqued
"Until the next time " by @Seren
"I could see myself walking those footsteps. Great work! Keep it coming."
17 Wed

Posted a poem
The Smell of Life
"The smell of life"
Open thread 12 lines
16 Tue

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
July 2009
22 Wed

Received a critique
on Rain from @yenti
"Cute little piece as the rain came down, one place I saw two and's I think the second one can be washed away:- and warm fire (and) Keep up the good work as it is harder to make a point with few words and you did this we…"
13 Mon

Received a critique
on Destruction from @themoonman
"this write seems so very personal, I am apprehensive to comment at all, but you asked for raw truth, and I can only offer my own. I thought that some of the sentences could be cut down a bit to add the strength of state…"
June 2009
27 Sat

Posted a poem
Destruction
"Like the destruction of Stagira,"
Open thread 38 lines
26 Fri

Posted a poem
Rain
"The downfall of heaven's tears"
Open thread 15 lines
22 Mon

Received a critique
on Red from @Lonnie
"Exceptionally well-penned and chocked full of stark imagery that makes the heart beat faster and the blood curdle! My hat is off to you, young Lady!"
22 Mon

Received a critique
on Red from @Seren
"OOOOOO Dina this is deep hun ... but I LOVE IT !!! ;) Love Jayne"
22 Mon

Posted a poem
Red
"The sweat drops from my breasts, my skin"
Open thread 21 lines
21 Sun

Critiqued
"The middle aged couple" by @R.M.Shanmugam
"Really like your description of this. dina"
20 Sat

Critiqued
"DEPARTING" by @Blue_Halcyon
"Very beautiful and sad. I loved it! Dina Grey"
19 Fri

Critiqued
"A Day In New York" by @paul
"Really like it.......I can feel the energy. Dina Grey"
19 Fri

Posted a poem
Move
"The bed is a world between us."
Open thread 30 lines
19 Fri

Critiqued
"My Evolution of Freedom" by @Seren
"From the depth of the soul and at times situations we find ourselves in......I really loved it. Dina Grey"
18 Thu

Posted a poem
DREAM
"Could I have just one more please?"
Open thread 20 lines
18 Thu

Critiqued
"insanity thy middle name be love" by @Seren
"Really loved it! Dina"
18 Thu

Critiqued
"I Thank God Everyday that You're Gone" by @Jesse.D
"very well thought out and I could feel the emotion. awesome job. Dina"
17 Wed

Posted a poem
Transformation
"  At first, I was instructed how to dress; long, lean lines, tight jeans and black shirts. I was told to lose weight as my behind would look better in said jeans."
Open thread 13 lines
17 Wed

Posted a poem
I Am NOT!
"I AM NOT YOUR MRS."
Open thread 22 lines
17 Wed

Critiqued
"whisper" by @Craig Norris
"Very well done. whisper her my name........I loved it. Dina Grey"
15 Mon

Posted a poem
The Bet
"I bet right now"
Open thread 20 lines
15 Mon

Posted a poem
The Race.
" My mother lay in her bed , too weak to speak or move. I tried to feed her minute pieces of fresh, peaches. My brother angrily asked me what I was doing. He thought she could still feed herself. He was in denial."
Open thread 7 lines
15 Mon

Highest posting month
June 2009 — 13 poems
13 Sat

Posted a poem
The Sun Shines
"The sun shines brightly"
Open thread 18 lines
12 Fri

Posted a poem
The Actress
"I moved my perfume"
Open thread 21 lines
May 2009
19 Tue

First critique offered
on "That's My Flesh" by @IKnowNoBox
15 Fri

First publication
Invisible

About Me

About me

Care giver to 78 year-old man who is in final stages of copd. My mind is fried. So, I'm a bit burned out.
I am a true poet, introvert, mystical, kind and a tendancy to care too much.

Location: Coastal area, NC

Favorite Poets

Sylvia Plath

Hemminway

Too many.....will add in time.

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

		Skill level:
Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal)	(syllabus)	Olympic Pool	Started 2012-09-29	Concluded

10 years of membership

5 years of membership

One year of membership

on The Smell of Life from @wesley snow

on The Smell of Life from @Ian.T

on The Smell of Life from @eightmenout

on The Smell of Life from @Seren

"Until the next time " by @Seren

Membership begins

on Rain from @yenti

on Destruction from @themoonman

on Red from @Lonnie

on Red from @Seren

"The middle aged couple" by @R.M.Shanmugam

"DEPARTING" by @Blue_Halcyon

"A Day In New York" by @paul

"My Evolution of Freedom" by @Seren

"insanity thy middle name be love" by @Seren

"I Thank God Everyday that You're Gone" by @Jesse.D

"whisper" by @Craig Norris

June 2009 — 13 poems

on "That's My Flesh" by @IKnowNoBox

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By