My Evolution of Freedom

This is a good piece of writing just the small spelling thing of quiet in line five, This is the utimate wish a Quiet life. (quite life) Good old evolution of things, is this a reflection of things past I hear whispered in my mind, of things we saw but couldn't leave behind. Best find a reflection true then love the one you see that is really you, Yours Ian.T

This is a gutsy poem. Courage is so much a component of poetry that I wonder what the words are without it. You are courageous here. Most of us say "fine" to the greeting of "how are you?". You are treating poetry differently, and I say bravo! warm regards, bjp

Yes this has the feel of a kick up the backside, self motivation piece and it fair spits at you. Its good though and that second verse in particular. Ian spotted the typo in the first verse but for me its the last verse that doesn't quite work. It is very difficult to string together long big words like this with some short linking ones and not just create a snowstorm of seemingly contrived sound. As Shakespeare once put it in Macbeth..."full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".....but it is definitely not a tale told by an idiot in this case lol. How about: Separation from Hallucination, self-annihilation, and constant (or futile maybe) validation into the Evolution of our Freedom Or something along these lines which makes the big words seem rather more meaningfully linked and improves the flow. Love K x

Weldone Seren, this one really took me up on the depth of freedom. Cheers Paparazii

or perspective of standing outside looking in, am I on the right track---I think so---in seeing a sort of gestalt here? As well a product of zen? A relating of an evolution that tends to repeat itself, but also an acceptance. Very mature. Very real. Thanx, Chuck

how did i miss this one!!! its my favourite one yet!!!! poetry as if from my own heart.... makes me a little sad though to think what its about. <3

The first stanza drew me in, and I loved the second, the third tied it all together for a nice piece~ ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

From the depth of the soul and at times situations we find ourselves in......I really loved it. Dina Grey