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Heartbroken, Heartbreaking
Acid, flowing rapidly
a Niagara down my cheeks
brushed away quickly.
The clock on the wall un-moving
reading four fifty- two
stopped there to keep the fall flowing
to keep me from forgetting
since forgeting would hurt more than the memories.
April 5, 2002, 4/5/02, 4:52
The clock stopped ticking, stopped ticking away,
the ticking stopped, it had to, it sounded so much like…
April 5, 2002, heartbroken, heartbreaking
but faithfully
I will wait for you.
Froth and Bubbles
Froth and Bubbles
My thanks to
Adam Lindsay Gordon
1833-1870
(his words in italics)
Life is mostly froth
and bubble[s]
trying to stay out of
other people’s troubles
while winning at post-race chess
aft chancing daily doubles.
Two things stand like stone—
and for this I must
suppress a moan—
Kindness in another’s trouble …
Sweet Dreams
(Sweet Dreams) 4/27/07
BY.MACHADA (AKA) VANILLA
I SEE YOU SLEEPIN' ACCROS FROM ME.
The Sound Of Silence
(The Sound Of Silence)
BY. MACHADA AKA VANILLA
8/12/07
I COULD NEVER TELL YOU HOW I FELT ABOUT YOU,
BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS 2 AFRAID.
MY DEAR BROTHER
My dear brother
By. Machada (aka) Vanilla 8/14/07
MY DEAR BROTHER WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT DID I DO?
DID I MESS UP BEIN' YOUR SISTER? CAUSE IF I DID I NEVER MENT 2 HURT U.
WHAT IS IT? I REALLY NEED 2 KNOW.
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE THESE PAIN WITH IN THAT YOU NEVER TEND 2 SHOW.
BUT BEING ANGRY ISENT' ALWAYS THE RIGHT KEY.
IF YOU’RE HURTIN' INSIDE PLEASE JUST REACH OUT AND TELL ME.
IT'S a BLESSIN' FROM GOD THAT YOUR MY BROTHER.
HE WOULD WHANT US 2 BE CLOSER, BECAUSE WE CAME FROM WITHIN THE SAME MOTHER.
Dear Mom
(Dear Mom)
By. machada 8/6/07
In 95 u told me u had a disease that could kill.
Found my emotions fucked up not knowing' that's the result of pain that
I would fill.
It hurts so bad inside ta no that one day you will die.
You have no idea how many times I have sat around and
cried.
Because life without you would be like life without a care
ppl telling me your gone and me askin where is she???
Drowning in my faults.
As I sit here and drown in my faults I think,
I think about all the people that I have hurt and I drink,
Even though I got their respect that isn’t the fact,
the fact still remains I still hurt them as I think back,
So what should I do?
Which should I choose?
Will I win or loose?
But that’s not the quiestion in life,
I’ve done this more than twice,
I feel bad inside because of the look on my mothers face,
Dory and George
Dory and George: Two Tumbleweeds
They sat in postures of thought. She with her head tilted, resting on open palm, fingers dawdling, tapping on cheek, palm on chin. He with back on wall, legs in backwards V, sneaker covered feet on booth cushion. His wrist limp on knee, fingers losing blood and going numb. They’ve been sitting here for hours. Talking. About life and science. Stars and politics. Common acquaintances and schools.
"Sunday was a bad day for me," he says sticking his straw into the last of his vanilla shake.
"Sunday? Why Sunday?"
His Spirit Remains
Some days I got nothing
And I ain’t got it
For days
And then some days,
Like today, a day
Like any other I guess
But unlike the day before
I didn’t get
Because today
I get what I got
And I got what I get
And when I got it
I know better than to hide it
So I go and give it
Away
Something about giving it
It’s a little Buddhist,
And go figure that the
Dalai Llama was just here
Giving talks around town
And I didn’t go
But now I get the thought