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Sweet Dreams

(Sweet Dreams) 4/27/07 BY.MACHADA (AKA) VANILLA I SEE YOU SLEEPIN' ACCROS FROM ME. THANKIN 2 MY SELF IF SOMETHIN BETWEEN US COULD EVER BE. SILLY COUSE IM NOT EVEN THE KIND YOUR LOOKIN FOR. BUT THEN I RELIZE MY TYPE EQUALS OUT TO SO MUCH MORE. OVER THIS WAY IM WONDERIN WHAT YOUR DREAMIN OF TANIGHT. AND IT'S KINDA CRAZY BUT WHEN IM AROUND YOU IT JUST FILLS SO RIGHT. THEN I FIND MYSELF MISSIN YOU BUT YOUR JUST RIGHT THERE. SO FINE AND SEXY ALL I CAN DO IS STARE. NOW MY MINDS BACK TO REALITY FROM JUST ONE SOUND THAT YOU MADE. STILL FOUNT CHU FINE AND SEXY JUST BY THE WAY THAT CHU LAID. ALTHOUGH MY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU MAY BE BOGES ARE EVEN WRONG. ESSPECIALY WHEN I HAVENT EVEN BEEN KNOWIN YOU FOR THAT LONG. BUT STILL I FIND MYSELF UNABLE TO CONTROLL THE WAY I FILL. IT'S ALMOST LIKE IM AT THE LIVEST PARTY AND I JUST POPPED A PILL. AND THIS MIGHT SOUND KINDA SILLY BUT I BEEN DREAMIN 2, NOT KNOWIN ALL THIS TIME IT'S BEEN ABOUT CHU. BUT WHATEVER IS NOT CAN ONLY BE. SO 4 NOW I'LL ASK U THIS ONE QUESTION, WILL YOU DREAM WITH ME???
— Vanilla23, Aug 15, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Gotta lose those caps, girl,

We don't like being shouted at. You'll get more feedback on your poems when you present with respect instead of shouting. Have you got a word processor? In MS Word you just select the text, press SHIFT/F3 and it changes it all out of caps. Do it twice and it capitalises the beginnings of line. Cool, you don't have to re-type. cheers, Jess
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

That said

It's a good poem, honest and true, like your language too, which is pretty high praise from a pompous old fart like me who likes everything spelled correctly. cheers, Jess
O

orgami

18 years 10 months ago

kapital wanton desires

great poem ill agree that the capital letters slow down my reading of the poem im old and my eyes take time to read but your poem is written so well and honest ill agree too i try not to complain so its not a complaint just a request from an old man hard of seeing i love your poems ..O..
V

Vanilla23

18 years 10 months ago

Thanks

I just thought the caps would help some ppl read alot better because it helped me but I do thank you 4 your time and support I'll work on that tho thanks:} ~VANILLA'S SPOT~!

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