Whiskurz

Member since April 12, 2012

Member for 14 years, 1 month

member

44 Poems

10 Comments

0 Followers

Most recent

Cutting the Cheese

Posted Jul 15, 2010 · 26 lines · 2 critiques

It was time for our annual cookout

That's when my wife asked me please

"If you get the time and you don't mind,

Could I ask you to please cut the cheese?"

I have to admit I was puzzled

I couldn't imagine what she means

So that's when I went to the kitchen

And opened me some beans

By the time I was finished

The people started to amass

My wife said, "It's time to get started,

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Would you please pass the gas?"

So off I went to get some more beans

By now I was getting pretty full

Trying to figure out who would be first

To offer my finger to pull

By the time I got back it had started

But it ended in minutes to my shame

I burned down half of the city

I was standing too close to the flame

Whiskurz’s timeline

April 2022
12 Tue

Anniversary
10 years of membership
April 2017
12 Wed

Anniversary
5 years of membership
April 2013
12 Fri

Anniversary
One year of membership
April 2012
13 Fri

Received a critique
on Glass Wedding from @weirdelf
"but I'm afraid the structure, including forced rhymes and a singsong meter, reduces it to just sentiment. Your use of iambic/anapestic meters with mixed feet could perhaps be more effective regularised to iambic pentame…"
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @Tommi Cordial
"A beautiful write...simply beautiful I'm speechless."
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @raj
"This is a nicely emoted version of the tear drop of deep seated hurt and sadness..good in cadence and rhyme..."
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @Nordic cloud
"Each verse its tear ran down through my feelings in sequence like the rain on window panes, never giving up, relentless, expressionless, transparent, and yet they were potently loaded and we couldn't see. I enjoyed this…"
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @William Saint George
"This poem treats the subject thoroughly. I love the sentimentality of the poem, and how you expressed it in short, simple lines. I cannot single out any few lines and call them my favourite; the whole poem worked perfec…"
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @judyanne
"this has good rhythm and rhyme but the poem seems to be lacking in oomph fo me because it seems to be incomplete i think you could've talked about other types of tears the happy ones, the frustrated ones, etc... just me…"
12 Thu

Received a critique
on Tears Are A Language from @Roscoe Lane
"And what a poem to start with, a great piece of poetry. And yes not everyone knows teardrops have a language, just look at our world. Nice start, and i look forward to reading more of your work. Regards Roscoe..."
12 Thu

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
July 2010
17 Sat

Received a critique
on Hope in Hopelessness from @ShePra
"If smile is precious, precious are tears that ooze from loving heart. If dew makes morning bright so do tears alight the night. It’s very sweet & delicate one, defining love with nude shade. Very well written take care"
15 Thu

Posted a poem
Cutting the Cheese
"  "
Open thread 26 lines
14 Wed

Posted a poem
The Artist's Reflection
"  "
Open thread 26 lines
13 Tue

Posted a poem
Where Flowers Grow
"  "
Open thread 25 lines
12 Mon

Most-discussed work
Hope in Hopelessness

12 critiques to date.
12 Mon

Posted a poem
Hope in Hopelessness
"  "
Open thread 26 lines
10 Sat

Posted a poem
Beautiful (Sonnet)
"  "
Open thread 23 lines
07 Wed

Posted a poem
A Quarter Till Midnight
"  "
Open thread 39 lines
06 Tue

Posted a poem
The Bluebird and the Fly
"  "
Open thread 28 lines
05 Mon

Posted a poem
"Til Death Do Us Part
"  "
Open thread 36 lines
03 Sat

Posted a poem
Runaway Train
"  "
Open thread 26 lines
02 Fri

Posted a poem
Just Beautiful
"  "
Open thread 26 lines
June 2010
30 Wed

Posted a poem
Heart of Inspiration
"  "
Open thread 31 lines
28 Mon

Posted a poem
Soul of a Poet Life of a Child
"  "
Open thread 31 lines
15 Tue

Highest posting month
June 2010 — 24 poems
May 2010
23 Sun

First publication
Under the Magnolia Tree

10 years of membership

5 years of membership

One year of membership

on Glass Wedding from @weirdelf

on Tears Are A Language from @Tommi Cordial

on Tears Are A Language from @raj

on Tears Are A Language from @Nordic cloud

on Tears Are A Language from @William Saint George

on Tears Are A Language from @judyanne

on Tears Are A Language from @Roscoe Lane

Membership begins

on Hope in Hopelessness from @ShePra

June 2010 — 24 poems

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