Cutting the Cheese

  It was time for our annual cookoutThat's when my wife asked me please"If you get the time and you don't mind,Could I ask you to please cut the cheese?" I have to admit I was puzzledI couldn't imagine what she meansSo that's when I went to the kitchenAnd opened me some beans By the time I was finishedThe people started to amassMy wife said, "It's time to get started,Would you please pass the gas?" So off I went to get some more beansBy now I was getting pretty fullTrying to figure out who would be firstTo offer my finger to pull By the time I got back it had startedBut it ended in minutes to my shameI burned down half of the cityI was standing too close to the flame