Echoes in the Darkness

It echoes in the darkness A silent sound that's heard Its pain cries out in agony Without ever speaking a word This sound is too familiar It's known by one and all Nothing can keep it silent It's perfect without a flaw The effect it has is lasting For all of those who hear It can even be contagious If someone is standing near Its sound can even be blinding As it brings us all to tears For some it lasts for a couple of days While others it can last for years No one can ever escape it It's destined right from the start At least once in our life, everyone will hear The sound of a broken heart

— Whiskurz, Jun 22, 2010

Critiques

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Wow this is great Whiskurz

This is a great poem from a heart that beats sensitively. There are just a few uses of the word it’s, its, that may need editing… {It’s} pain cries out in agony ……………………[its] {It’s} sound can even be blinding ……………….[its] {It’s} destined right from the start ……………….[its] I just want to help. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Professor Purple

16 years 1 month ago

I like it! A lot! I like the

I like it! A lot! I like the "mystery" aspect of it, wondering what's being described, and the title works really well with that. Just two suggestions: 4th stanza, last line : "For others..." (forget the while). That's a bit of repetition, but I'd accept it, as one line answers the other. And last stanza, last line: "... cry of a broken heart". You already use "sound" a few times, "cries" once and never "cry". Your call. Antoine

Shayla rae

16 years 1 month ago

wow

this is a really deep poem, i enjoyed reading it thx

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