thegodshatter2

Member since August 3, 2014

Member for 11 years, 10 months

member

11 Poems

16 Comments

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beyond

Posted Aug 3, 2014 · 25 lines · 6 critiques

Hunching she cried, it fell on deaf ears.
anguish and agony feed on her tears.
She stops,
Holds her breath and wished she was free,
Softly she whispers,
why daddy,
Why me.
Half muttered truths,
Well spoken lies,
She sees through his rouse,
She knows this disguise.
you be a good girl,
Mommy said its alright,
I spoke to her in heaven,

Read the rest of the poem Show less

She said tonight was the night.
Crying now harder she drops to her knees,
Begs anyone listening for forgiveness,
As unwillingness starts to please.
A way to escape, freedom she craves,
But drugs are much cheaper,
She won't misbehave.
Torn and beaten, daddy's all done,
Now all his friends can join in the fun,
Crying for mommy she sobbed in choked gasps,
But knew these horrid moments would now be her last.

thegodshatter2’s timeline

August 2024
03 Sat

Anniversary
10 years of membership
August 2019
03 Sat

Anniversary
5 years of membership
August 2015
03 Mon

Anniversary
One year of membership
August 2014
22 Fri

Received a critique
on beyond from @wesley snow
"A hard topic well done. I agree with some of comments that the rhythm could use tweaking, but I wouldn't change this wholesale. The rhyme structure is loose, but clearly delineated. The language use is solid. All in all…"
22 Fri

Received a critique
on beyond from @weirdelf
"She sees through his rouse, [ruse]"
04 Mon

Received a critique
on beyond from @weirdelf
"A hard subject much in need of address. Glad to see you took Gee's suggestions, it does improve the poem. You have already entered into the spirit of Neopoet where we "grow" poems, rather than just post for ego."
03 Sun

Received a critique
on beyond from @Geezer
"so rude and did not welcome you to the site! I thought that you were another person that has been here for awhile and would have been prepared for what I had to say. I stand by what I said, but wish to add that; Yes, fo…"
03 Sun

Received a critique
on beyond from @Ian.T
"Welcome to Neopoet site here we quietly learn, but some can shout, I will tell you what it is all about, Later lol. Have a great visit to us, Gee has said most of what has to be said but as a first piece, it is very goo…"
03 Sun

Received a critique
on beyond from @Geezer
"the rhythm you were going for, but never quite got. I would suggest that you use a different word where you used (bereft) and where you used (languish). They don't fit the rhythm and the pace. I liked the lines: "Half s…"
03 Sun

Posted a poem
beyond
"Hunching she cried, it fell on deaf ears."
Open thread 25 lines
03 Sun

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
July 2010
17 Sat

Received a critique
on The Dissappearing from @lou
"Very nice write, just one tiny tweak, line 4 doesn't quite work, imaybe u could say 'My self image degraded,' or ' my body Image degraded.' Good stuff Lou xx"
12 Mon

Received a critique
on The Dissappearing from @Kailashana
"Ah... always the rebirthing... a life, re-examined... Well *executed* poem. Thanks. ~A "There is a kind of mysticism to writing." ~ Irvine Welsh"
12 Mon

Posted a poem
The Dissappearing
"I am     .......nothing"
Open thread 19 lines
June 2010
23 Wed

Critiqued
"DEAD TO THE WORLD" by @hottiey
"what up. i wrote apoem about this same damn topic true true. i got pissed that no one would comment on my poems or writes so i wrote about it and then decided to stop for a while. but amidst it i decided to say fuck it…"
16 Wed

Posted a poem
caption in life
"Suicide may be the fastest way out but,"
Open thread 37 lines
15 Tue

Critiqued
"invisible" by @thedifference5457
"the only reason i didn't give it 5 is because of the fact of not being as smooth flowing as it should be. other than that nothing. keep writing, Joshua Sky Smith"
15 Tue

Critiqued
"invisible" by @thedifference5457
"how can you not understand what the meaning is behind this. you work at a high school and all you can get out of this is the pain. there is so much more there that can be seen and felt. i hope that if you have kids you…"
14 Mon

Critiqued
"wonders of the mind" by @princees of darkness
"heeellllooooo........ i am enjoying your writes so far friend. you have great imagination and a willingness to put it on paper or, computer..... w.e. anyway, i'm not gonna talk your face off your head but...... come che…"
14 Mon

Posted a poem
words of rhythmic sign and words
"Eviscerate, masticate,"
Open thread 20 lines
May 2010
27 Thu

Critiqued
"m.f.e.o." by @Mike
"i found alot of meaning in what you wrote. i feel as though you have been through this situation before. i could be wrong and, i tend to be but. in the last sentence where you say quiet. did you mean to say quite instea…"
26 Wed

Critiqued
"rough" by @CaptainKrash
"i really enjoyed this solid read! it pushed images into my wandering mind so vivid i felt i could touch them. congrats friend and i hope to hear more from you in the future. indeed i do. sincerely, J Smith (God Shatter)"
26 Wed

Critiqued
"River Of Tears" by @magics02
"i enjoy this piece for reasons not quite explainable........... yet. sincerely, J Smith"
25 Tue

Posted a poem
The monster's in me. The angel in you
"                 I'm sitting in the most comfortable spot i can find Although, at this time and moment not a damn thing would make me comfortable except, for my angel. She knows im in here. But for what reason she never truly knew. So now i sit. hands wringing with sweat, tears in my eyes, and pain........ Pain wraching every pore of my being."
Open thread 8 lines
January 2010
02 Sat

Posted a poem
god shatter in form
"These lonely and wretched souls,"
Open thread 34 lines
December 2009
17 Thu

Most-discussed work
Just the beginning

10 critiques to date.
17 Thu

Posted a poem
Just the beginning
"She sobs in agony"
Open thread 31 lines
01 Tue

Posted a poem
no one reads my poems
"i sit here and spill my guts."
Open thread 19 lines
November 2009
30 Mon

Posted a poem
she broke me
"The scars can be seen"
Open thread 4 lines
24 Tue

Posted a poem
welcome to my mind.
"           I'm sitting here pondering over beautiful music with phenominal thoughts flowing through my head and coursing through my veins as freely as the blood that keeps me alive. The pen that i write with becomes an extention " NO" a physical attachment to my body. My writings, though sloppy and sometimes incoherent in  their meanings and truths in the end gets it's point across, whether read only once or a million times."
Open thread 10 lines
23 Mon

Critiqued
"Little Elephants" by @kitkat
"does the 1 standing by ones self relate to a moment in time. specifically dealing with yourself. what are you hiding and why hide it with elephants? a poem to make ones self think. amazing none the less. open up and tel…"
23 Mon

First critique offered
on "Little Elephants" by @kitkat
23 Mon

First publication
abuse of self
23 Mon

Posted a poem
abuse of self
"I walked with desires burning like fires."
Open thread 5 lines

About Me

About me

I'm quiet and fearful of most things around me. Cautious to say the least. 27. Male. Talk to me to know me.

10 years of membership

5 years of membership

One year of membership

on beyond from @wesley snow

on beyond from @weirdelf

on beyond from @weirdelf

on beyond from @Geezer

on beyond from @Ian.T

on beyond from @Geezer

Membership begins

on The Dissappearing from @lou

on The Dissappearing from @Kailashana

"DEAD TO THE WORLD" by @hottiey

"invisible" by @thedifference5457

"invisible" by @thedifference5457

"wonders of the mind" by @princees of darkness

"m.f.e.o." by @Mike

"rough" by @CaptainKrash

"River Of Tears" by @magics02

"Little Elephants" by @kitkat

on "Little Elephants" by @kitkat

About Me

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