thegodshatter2

Dec 17, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Just the beginning

She sobs in agony

He laughs to cover the sound

His hands close tighter around her throat

Each smooth and delicate bone collapsing under stress

A symphony to be played, many... times... over...

With tears streaming she begins to vomit

He squeezes harder forcing an abrubt and violent stop

Leaning close he whispers, save that for later

Right now this is MY time.....

Her tears fall faster as she forces a smile

But now he can barely contain himself

Lust..... To much for this monster to bare anymore

He acts with a precise rythym... She knows he's done this before

With his smile now gone

He Rips her pants down

Thrusting deep inside, she screams

Childhood gone for good

Her innocence forever destroyed

Another trophy to add to his collection

blood flows as freely as the tears that she weeps

He convulses, knowing that he has left a piece of hisself inside of her

Standing over her he gets a good look at the mess he has created

The smile comes again

Telling her to wipe herself off he throws a towel at her

Your mother will be home soon

I don't want her knowing what a whore you are

Crying quietly she says ok, daddy.....

He shuts the door leaving her be

The young girl crys louder than before

Not because of the pain, or even because it was her father, no....

But because She knows that this is just the beginning....

— thegodshatter2, Dec 17, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: the corner of your eye

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 5 months ago

hello

Yes, it is a sensitive subject for many. It touches on a subject that has been taboo for such a very long time. I must say that I applaud you for bringing light to this subject. I wrote on in this vein awhile ago and posted it here. I would like to share it with you: Desperation in D Minor (For Incest survivors) demi-damsel Daddy’s darling delicate and dainty debutante daughter on display Daddy’s doll dulcet dutiful dove desire digs deeply deftly does despoil defiled delicacy desecrated distraught destroyed decimated desperate daughter decries “don’t…Daddy…don’t” the line I can most relate to in your poem is: But because She knows that this is just the beginning…. Always, Cat

thegodshatter2

16 years 5 months ago

thank you

first off i would like to say thank you for sharing your work with me. this has always been a sensitive subject even for those who have not experienced it. i tried to capture all the emotion that goes with with it. to make those who read it almost feel like they are there watching but don't have the ability to reach out and say stop! the last line is in my opinion the most powerful of all that was written before it. because it is just the beginning of a life that will be lived in the shadows. no friends, beatings, drugs, and most likely a life filled with debauchery as well. thanks again friend, truly Joshua S Smith

Kassie

16 years 5 months ago

Wow

left me speechless ... I really felt as though I could see what was happening.. Pretty powerful congratz

themoonman

16 years 5 months ago

Shatter...

A brave write to associate yourself in the first person with, not sure I would have the balls to do that, but you did. I did feel there were a few spots where some punctuation would help, I'm sure that in some places, when you read it aloud, you stop, help the reader to catch your voice with their own, and permit the stops with commas or line breaks... an example, Tears streaming she moans stop, stop please Tears streaming, she moans, stop... stop, Please but I squeeze harder Sometimes a line break can make the strength of a statement more effective, doesn't always work, but in this case I felt it would. Narrative, in your last few lines you switched up from 1st person to second... I felt the transition could have been smoother, maybe instead of "He", which is the narrator and the culprit, perhaps start the change with "she", she watched as he closed the door, or perhaps something stronger, like, she quaked uncontrollably as he shut the door, these are merely suggestions, and you are the author of this already strong (but disturbing) write... thanks for sharing. Richard

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Shatter

I agreee its a brave task to take on and I just read all Richards suggestions and they are sound ...again a brave subject to tackle kind regards Jayne

jetz

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Joshua, Wow. As soon as

Hi Joshua, Wow. As soon as I saw where you were going with this, I got goose bumps. That, in itself, tells me, this is a good piece. That is what you want to do. Not necessarily give one chills, ( this subject matter is much too close to the bone for some..me included)but to know that you have gotten your message through with your words. Not everyone can do this. You have already gotten some wonderful advice from a couple of poets that have much more knowledge than I have, but may I simply say, you have the makings of a fine writer. Do please heed some of Richards advice. He knows of which he speaks. I await your next piece. Happy Holidays to you and yours. Cold enough up there for ya??? It sure is freezing here. Brrrrrr.... sincerely, Sue

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

Don’t you just wish we’d

Don't you just wish we'd never have to write poems such as these? I fear however, you've been privy to this. Courage young man, courage young woman. It isn't easy to live after the sins of the father. ~A Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

Daniel John

16 years 5 months ago

Hey there

Very powerful and dark. I could feel the tension while reading your poem. As mentioned before, it was pretty daring of you to post this, and I think that says a lot. - Daniel

ifoundaplace

16 years 4 months ago

I like your poem, good job

I like your poem, good job (: Dani.

RobeccaJane Le…

15 years 11 months ago

Brought tears to my eyes and memories to my mind!

Tough subject matter, toucher critics on the matter. personal expeierences will tend to get in the way of how people comment, i do fear. i, however will not let mine get in the way. i will, however, say that this subject matter hits very close to home for me. something i had to live through for five years, and even then another year in the dark, not knowing what to say, and who i could say it to. fogiveness is the key to getting over things such as these, at least in my eyes. you do not have to forgetm just forgive and move on with your life, and if you ever see them again tell them that you forgive them, that will put the fear in them that you felt all those years, trust me on that one, i have yet to do it, but i know someone that has, ans her life is sooo much better because of it. again a very touchy subject, but i give you props for being brave enough to breech the subject. great thanks for this, i could never have done this myself!!! MUAH CHEEKY JSS "please someone help me, its not healthy for me to feel this, Y-O-U, are making this hard, you got me tossing and turnin, late in the night!!!!!;)" Rhianna. PS you know who you are, and trust me this is a good thing;)