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A
Abi
Member since June 12, 2009
Member for 16 years, 11 months
member
10
Poems
2
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Dark Red crooked lines
If thou is to touch thys heart make sure to be careful
becuse this heart is mane of glass
with dark red crooked lines that go thugh it.
Thy's glass heart can't hold anymore of these dark red crooked lines
there are too many
The dark red dripping though the lines and landidng on thy's hands
There is too much thy's hands cant hold it all
One more of these lines and thy's heart will shatter
Shatter into a million tinny pieces
When this happens thy's hands will overflow with all this dark red substance
And thy's heart will be broken forever and no longer exist in this dark cruel world
Thy will no longer own a heart
Thy will never love again
Thy gives you her last chance
Abi’s timeline
- June 2024
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11 TueAnniversary
15 years of membership
- June 2019
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11 TueAnniversary
10 years of membership
- June 2014
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11 WedAnniversary
5 years of membership
- June 2010
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11 FriAnniversary
One year of membership
- February 2010
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19 FriReceived a critique
on Dark Red crooked lines from @yenti
"Woops this is a lovely piece but the spelling needs attention, read some of the others poems and comment here and there then write this one again, you have written it well but have muddled it a little, Yours Ian.T" -
07 SunReceived a critique
on one... from @poewriter58
"most and cherish are the correct spellings short but to the point may I suggest a title change as the title you have will not attract attention as it has been overused Chrys" - January 2010
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26 Tue
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25 MonCritiqued
"Wings" by @odd molly
"wow I dont actually know why Im wrighting a comment im speachless your poem is great its so beautiful with lovely choce of words ... I LOVE IT" -
25 MonFirst critique offered
on "Wings" by @odd molly
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25 Mon
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23 Sat
- November 2009
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27 FriReceived a critique
on I give you a black rose from @Dalton
"This is a loving yet naive write, and I don't mean that as a criticism by any means. probably the wrong word, what I mean is it has a certain childlike innocence, as if the poet has a wise head on young shoulders, the r…" - August 2009
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21 FriReceived a critique
on Hiding behind this fake smile from @bungalogic
"A very sad poem but wonderful insight into your inspiration for writing. Here are some minor corrections... sais - says wrighting - writing to late to late - too late, too late. Other than that thanks for your poem. Lon…" -
18 TueReceived a critique
on Hiding behind this fake smile from @Kenneth Sharp
"When reading your piece, it came across more like an entry in a diary, with a slight poetic flair to it. I think you have the groundwork for a solid poem if you reconstructed the format, and tinkered with the flow and d…" -
18 TueReceived a critique
on Hiding behind this fake smile from @themoonman
"There were many spelling mistakes within this write, are you using any form of spell-check? Even with the spelling errors it is easy to grasp your feelings in this write, and it is important to write it down, and we tha…" -
18 TueReceived a critique
on Hiding behind this fake smile from @Sourav
"You should be happy. No matter you are alone or with someone. If you are alone and happy then that's fine. But if you are alone and sad then something is wrong! Live happily that's the mantra! Overall nice emotional wri…" -
18 TueReceived a critique
on Hiding behind this fake smile from @yenti
"Pressed the wrong button so this was a duplicate, Yours Ian.T" -
17 MonPosted a poem
Hiding behind this fake smile
"Ive been hiding behind this fake smile for so long" - June 2009
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20 Sat
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18 Thu
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13 Sat
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12 FriFirst publication
I give you a black rose
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12 Fri
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11 ThuJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
About Me
Recent Work
Dark Red crooked lines
Posted:
one...
Posted:
Dear Derek,
Posted:
Hiding behind this fake smile
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te amo
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Im gone
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I give you a black rose
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