Rewriting Memory

Trust…I wish I hadn’t broken trust so many times
But I was egotistical and foolish too
I mixed the boundaries between wrong and right
With a skewed view of integrity and virtue

But the thing about distorted perception
Is that in a self-centered mind reality bends
There is no real sense of true north or direction
A broken moral compass with a shattered lens

Yours truly and the missus attests
as well management decrees yearly behest
at the mercy and complying
with annual inspections
by orders of the high command,
which finds our anxiety pitched
to the highest crest
and/or plunged into the lowest troughs
when we receive the final word
that numerous issues baffle us
when nyat, no, nay
and any other nabobs of negativity
hounded us for inadequate attention
to maintain our apartment unit b44
up to code
and without a shadow of a doubt

I still check the weather
In your city
Like it's my responsibility
To remind you to grab an umbrella

I still call your number
Every once in a while
Hoping it was all a bad dream
But it's the machine that picks up

I still -
I have got to stop

None of this
Could ever bring you back

let’s have a picnic, let’s play guitar, dance in the kitchen, kiss in your car. let’s let’s let’s- find a cool summer evening: stay up gazing stars
or sit for a movie in cemetery park
let’s become friends most of all
and practice trust as we fall
on my chest tracing scars
my slow beating heart
she’ll repeat the refrain
“i feel safe in your arms”
being cautious and kind
listen close to your heart
sun showers, night skies
stealing looks, dealing cards
may the light find your eyes
may the calm soothe your heart

I time-travel with you all the time.
Memories propel our journeys.

This time, remembering the rocks
we carefully stacked near the abyssal-blue water.
Like us, they were a little unsteady.

Years later, you brought home the painting
of piled stones. You were so excited to have found it!
All the hues of grey and their sibling colors on canvas,
capturing the time we first learned to hold on.

This is just to say,
Take abundance, kindness and love with you throughout your day,
Feel the sunshine on your face, listen to the beautiful, bountiful birds in the trees,
See the golden green grass swish and sway in the serenading breeze,
Listen to the wind, let her lyrics linger after she’s whispered them to you,
Watch the collection of clouds in a sky bashful, brilliant and blue,
Try and lighten the load wherever you go,
Breathe in love and light, illuminate and glow.

`

Brown in the sun
of the midday born
Silken strands
of crested corn

sparks light the sky
brilliant welder's flash
jewel in disguise
jouster's winning prize.

Jack was nimble
he was quick
but he's not taking
that candlestick.

All the queen's horses
and all the queen's men
run their own courses
then run them again.

`