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Dreadnought the fear of homelessness I tell myself

Yours truly and the missus attests
as well management decrees yearly behest
at the mercy and complying
with annual inspections
by orders of the high command,
which finds our anxiety pitched
to the highest crest
and/or plunged into the lowest troughs
when we receive the final word
that numerous issues baffle us
when nyat, no, nay
and any other nabobs of negativity
hounded us for inadequate attention
to maintain our apartment unit b44
up to code
and without a shadow of a doubt
most every occupant
here at Highland Manor doth detest
the brutal, caustic and vituperative
feedback courtesy regional manager
after slaving over domestic duties
including a hotpoint stove
cause every earthling privileged
to live at said low income facility
if they respect the property
analogous to doing our level best
essentially living as a temporary guest
under the auspices
of Housing and Urban Development
(HUD) primary mission
who create quality,
affordable housing opportunities,
strengthen communities,
and enforce fair housing laws.

And therefore lease policy
allows, enable and provides
a safe and secure domicile
not simply atop a bed
where each tenant
can sleep in peace and tranquility
as their headrest
while traversing the figurative sea of life
maintains semblance of order at tidiness
as obligatory lease specifies
rules and regulation
expects each occupant to invest
maintenance of where she/he,
her/his/, and they/them live
though behind the figurative backs
of management gossip and jest
at how so and so lives in squalor
or qualified as a hoarder
which efficiency, one
or two bedroom apartment
wherein one wheel chair bound
and morbidly obese indigent
older man rants and raves
how oppressed the contractual obligations
a nuisance and when pressed
to expound on why
he feels relocating here a quest
chin of natural inquisitiveness
(basically his only option
living in a disgraceful Quakertown facility),
a singular place to rest
(inadvertently obeying Sir Isaac Newton's
First Law of Motion,
often called the Law of Inertia,
states that an object at rest
stays at rest,
and an object in motion
stays in motion
with the same speed
and in the same direction
unless acted upon
by an unbalanced external force
his damaged, crippled,
and bruised body
analogous to being sorely
put thru the ringer failing
to pass the electric kool aid acid test,
which basic costs
of rent deposited at Univest
Bank I believe utilized by
A gonif (or ganef/goniff,
pronounced GAH-nif)
a Yiddish term for a thief,
scoundrel, or dishonest person
and from Hebrew (gannābh)
commonly used to describe
someone sneaky, a trickster,
or a shady character,
often with a sense of contempt
or mocking disdain
rather than a formal accusation
unfairly incriminating us
by Misters Crooks and McCracken.

— Jane A. Rug, Apr 23, 2026

About This Poem

Last Few Words: hey you gal or guy from pennsylvania, i wonder if you plan to unload a mini fridge in the near future, cause we (yours truly and the missus) seek to cut electricity expenses and downsize from a full bore refrigerator to those bought by college/university students. if not thee per se, i wonder if you know of any man, woman, or child willing to part for a mini-fridge for naught dollars and zero sense.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a dense, stream-of-consciousness exploration of the anxiety and frustration tied to living under strict housing regulations and the fear of homelessness. The speaker’s voice conveys a lived experience marked by tension between tenants and management, underscored by the bureaucratic language of leases and inspections.

Strengths: - The poem’s long, flowing lines mimic the overwhelming and continuous nature of the speaker’s stress, effectively immersing the reader in the emotional landscape. - The use of legal and administrative terminology (“annual inspections,” “lease policy,” “HUD”) grounds the poem in a specific socio-economic reality, lending authenticity and weight. - Incorporating references such as Sir Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion adds a thoughtful metaphorical layer, linking physical inertia to the stagnation and helplessness felt by the tenants. - The inclusion of Yiddish terms like “gonif” enriches the cultural texture and conveys the speaker’s perspective on perceived corruption or dishonesty in the system.

Areas for development: - The poem’s length and dense syntax can make it challenging to follow. Breaking the poem into stanzas or shorter lines could improve readability and allow key images or ideas to stand out more clearly. - Some phrases and clauses feel overly complex or convoluted, which may dilute emotional impact. Simplifying language in places could help sharpen the poem’s focus and enhance clarity. - The poem shifts between narrative, description, and exposition (e.g., HUD’s mission statement), which sometimes interrupts the emotional flow. Consider integrating these elements more seamlessly or using them sparingly to maintain momentum. - The voice occasionally slips into formal or legalistic diction that contrasts with the rawness of the subject matter. Balancing this with more intimate, personal language might deepen the reader’s empathy. - The poem could benefit from more vivid sensory details or concrete imagery to balance the abstract and conceptual language, making the experience more immediate and visceral.

Overall, the poem tackles a complex and important theme with ambition and a distinctive voice. Refining structure and language choices will help the emotional core resonate more powerfully with readers.

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