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atorn
Member since June 15, 2012
Member for 13 years, 11 months
member
21
Poems
77
Comments
1
Follower
Most recent
A late night poem:
She sits in perfect repose
a poem waiting to be composed
words woven with silken thread
fine yet not quite spoken
Constellations bright within her eyes
hinting at the prose she hides
in her gentle, shuttered soul, and why,
I wonder why, has she been left to bide her time
aching for her poem to be written
atorn’s timeline
- April 2024
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04 ThuNew follower
@Candlewitch
- June 2022
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15 WedAnniversary
10 years of membership
- September 2021
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19 SunReceived a critique
on A late night poem: from @Owl Has My Soul
"I'm thinking I overstepped with my suggestions... If I did, I am sorry. Got a little invested..." -
19 SunReceived a critique
on A late night poem: from @Owl Has My Soul
"Wow -- I love this poem. Great subject and you capture its elusiveness. I would slightly alter the ending: in her gentle, shuttered soul, I wonder why she has been left to bide her time aching for herself to be written." -
18 SatReceived a critique
on A late night poem: from @Ray Whitaker
"The rhyme scheme works until the end… maybe a bit more work on that there? I would suggest you drop the second “why”, as the “I wonder” part connotates that. This would make it flow better, IMHO" -
17 Fri
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07 TueReceived a critique
on Strange as a noun from @Gracy
"Good poem, atom. I like the rhyme and think it would be fine as a song. Have you thought of that? Do you sing? Yes, the line breaks would be a good idea. Strange certainly is a noun, depending on how you use it. Enjoyed…" -
01 WedReceived a critique
on Strange as a noun from @Geezer
"with Stan, I think it would read a little easier if you had the breaks, but it does read alright without them. I like the premise that [Strange] can be a noun. [Or maybe should be]. Well written and the pace is such, as…" -
01 WedReceived a critique
on Strange as a noun from @scribbler
"I would suggest putting stanza break just before each line starting with "strange". But the I'm a traditional type poet lol. Good to see you back" - August 2021
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31 TueReceived a critique
on Strange as a noun from @Obadiah Grey
"Strangely, I thought this was great! Obi." -
31 Tue
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29 SunReceived a critique
on Nothing from @c lynn brooks
"Sadness throughout this poem is all I see.. Well written but heartwrenching" -
29 Sun
- July 2021
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13 Tue
- June 2021
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01 Tue
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01 TueFirst contest commendation
Write a poem as an alter ego.
with the poem "Alter ego C. Wilde Night in the life".
- May 2021
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24 MonCritiqued
"C'est La Vie" by @c lynn brooks
"I love the questioning nature, the phrasing pans out perfectly and leads to final realization that despite the darkness you still recognize that the feeling is still there and longs to rise from the ashes of demise much…" -
24 MonCritiqued
"Why In This Ever Loving World" by @c lynn brooks
"It would appear that we have dueling Darkness going on between us, I love a poem I can relate to and this one seems to start off more of a statement than a poem but morphs into a poetic statement to which I can relate (…" -
23 Sun
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22 Sat
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19 WedCritiqued
"THE ONE I LOVE" by @John Lars Zwerenz
"I always am thrilled to come upon a love poem that is divine and not cliche and I believe you have accomplished this admirably, Bravo and thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read" -
18 Tue
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17 Mon
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16 SunCritiqued
"Doomed" by @c lynn brooks
"The promise of the opening line that spirals into doom as the work progresses is pure genius I love how the lines draw you in with pretty images and by the end the other shoe drops along with my jaw and I am hooked" -
16 SunCritiqued
"McPherson Park" by @coosh1
"I love everything about this work of art, The imagery, the flow I can feel the day, no really it takes me there again I say Bravo" -
16 SunCritiqued
"Journal Entry - July, 2018" by @Michael Anthony
"I'm not so hot at putting critiques into words but I know what I like and this poem is perfect in it's simplicity. The words capture the longing, the loss and the need to accept what befalls us all. I love the closing l…" -
16 Sun
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15 SatCritiqued
"Doomed" by @c lynn brooks
"I love the Christmas tree lights opening line leading to the closing line "Doomed" creates a wicked journey" -
15 Sat
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15 SatHighest posting month
May 2021 — 6 poems
- July 2020
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31 FriPosted a poem
The ghost of Ben Johnson
"The ghost of Ben Jonson draped itself across my troubled dreams last night" - June 2017
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15 ThuAnniversary
5 years of membership
- June 2013
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15 SatAnniversary
One year of membership
- June 2012
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16 SatCritiqued
"The Gray Fedora" by @China Blue
"what a killer way of acknowledging the passage of ones own life from the perspective of a fedora. I related all the way through the poem as I read it and had to ask myself "oh what stories could my own fedora tell" any…" -
16 SatPosted a poem
Ben Jonson
"The ghost of Ben Jonson draped itself across my troubled dreams last night" -
15 FriJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
- April 2008
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18 Fri
- February 2008
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18 MonFirst critique offered
on "Hard Time" by @themoonman
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18 MonFirst publication
In the best of my lies
About Me
About me
motorcycles mayhem and the zen of conquered addictions, I love film photography, music on vinyl and poetry, I also have this weird thing that I can only write poems if I use a fountain pen with a music nib must be a Freudian thing
Location: new mexico
Favorite Poets
leonard cohen
charles bukowski
gary nicholson
Recent Work
A late night poem:
Posted:
Strange as a noun
Posted:
Nothing
Posted:
The future where love hides
Posted:
Any Saturday Night
Posted:
The Past Hisses Angry sounds
Posted:
The Reckoning
Posted:
Chained
Posted:
Three words
Posted:
Contest Wins
| Winning Submission | Contest | Contest Date |
|---|---|---|
| Alter ego C. Wilde Night in the life | Write a poem as an alter ego. | – |