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In the best of my lies

I caught you in your weakness

putting on that fine honed act

from the corner of always watching eyes

I spotted you gliding

across the floor

in your

"latest from paris" disguise

our eyes never met my dear

i was as you

dressed out

in the best of my lies

under false assumption I came

wearing all the best of my lies

you'd never understand

such perfect madness

as mine,

darkness swells around me

in this place i hide

pardon me have you met my replacement

i finally realized

this is the face

I'll be wearing

for the rest of my time

 

— atorn, Feb 18, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: new mexico

Favorite Poets: leonard cohen, charles bukowski, gary nicholson

More from this author

Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Z...

Welcome to Neopoet...glad you have dropped this one on..it is good...but, and there are always those here..in my opinion the poem should have ended at the line..this is the face I'll be wearing for the rest of my time,.but that is only my opinion.. I can see you have talent and I'll be watching for your name...
atorn

atorn

18 years 3 months ago

retort

i think your right that line is the better place to end it the rest seems an after thought and could probably get lost and i think i will edit it now thanks for checking it out
P

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

welcome new poet

Andrew as always a good write as always somber but as always it is you glad to see you here the last line completes the cadence of the poem Chrys
S

Snpdrgon

18 years 3 months ago

Hey Andrew! awesome piece!

Hey Andrew! awesome piece! Is this one over at Poets? Don't recall seeing it. It's really brilliant. Sadly very true for some of us. Hope everything is good with you. Missed you. xxx Lisa~ Not for this did I wait but for this I am ready.
atorn

atorn

18 years 3 months ago

hey now

no this one isnt on the other site and hey missed you to
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 3 months ago

Welcome to the site

I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to seeing more of your work. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
atorn

atorn

18 years 3 months ago

thnaks

thank you ill be sure to check out some of your work
B

blistered-pen

18 years 3 months ago

love your title

& i love the body, but the typo 'pardom' kind of threw me off a little when i was reading it. still, great poem. really like it. kudos 'you'd never understand such perfect madness as mine' (great line, i just might have to write it down) =)
atorn

atorn

18 years 3 months ago

thanks

glad youenjoyed it and ill fix the typo ill be sure to check out some of your work
L

LadyTheresa

56 years 5 months ago

Nice!!!

Hey great pice with so much truth and depth!! Really enjoyed reading this!! LadyTheresa
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello!

This is a very well laid out and thoughtful piece of work. I could see the solemn wheels turning with each line I read. The ending is perfect! Cat
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

I think that maybe

quite a few of us here might understand that madness; I know that I've walked hand in hand with it through many dark nights! Great piece. I can relate with it. ~ Ronda