Hard Time

And truth in this harsh poem of reality. I have visited friends doing hard time and this poem describes the experiences they related to me. Heavy duty poem and it packs a wallop! Cat

i think the poem was beautiful in a sad way, my kids dad did quite a bit, it's tragic for everyone, they all lose something in the end, I suppose they also feel forgotten

captures the shut in feeling of the walls and the bars and the "don,t give a crap attitude that permeates the cage i wouldnt change a thing

i also like hard time instead of just time because it reminds me of the cup my dad got that says hard time cafe, a cup from when he was on the jail workforce and then all the stories he told me about jail and prison and how there is a huge different but in all i really like this one because it reminds me of family (which may sound bad )lol $DEY KNOW$

I really liked it, the flow was very good. I would have to say the first line doesn't work perfectly, I'd lose the word "hard" from "hard time". It wouldn't change the meaning, no one would be confused as to what you were referring to. Other than that small thing, the rest was great and very interesting to read. I especially liked "its the nightmare you’ve thought of, all that and more" Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

Is what you have written , the cold hard truth may I suggest you shorten your last line and pick it up at a shadow etc in my humble opinion this lines is a bit wordy you can say just as much with less but it is a powerful line that says a lot Chrys

It will sing for a while a short while or a life time but still in a cage the lines on the floor I know them well for even when out of the box I see them a man need naught be in a cage to be confined or resicted A free man is only free when he seeks it lost in hell one can call on the most inner most power that we as humans have Spirt "faith of" and imagenation I have seen bound men become free for awhile and I've see a few break the barriers of time and space forever and yet there flesh still resides in the present continum they are here and now Is it but a dream or a recolection or a tape played over and over being edited as it is replayed this poem has many layers and insights that are yet only detected by those who feel whatever the feeling is some are afraid for a life time some don't know that they are or should be? intriguing poem love the line I no longer shiver when cold or alone "HOME" you do know home is were the heart is or was or wishes to be resict only what needs to be resicted and set free what ever you can Donnie? Sinbad the Saailor Man

I much enjoyed this! I am envious of people who can make rhyming poetry work for them! I agree with Kieran about removing the word 'hard' from the first line, because then the flow would be perfect. Great job!

Just the two words doing time sounds extremely hard to me, this poem appealed to myself because you I feel have written well here, very well. A very difficult subject to write about - Sincerest Regards Lesley.

I like hard time flow or otherwise because personally i know of at least five males who have done exactly that it wasnt just time going by their life impacted by their actions and justice served Some of the atrocities they viewed and were a part of while being incarcerated goes beyond description and sometimes imagination You write this great poem without malice giving me a memory again of my freinds and what they shared with me during trusted moments of recall and candour This is a great Poem Moonman O

"hard time" goes well as for an explanation.... IT IS not an overnight stay, Or hey "I'll be bailed out in a week". Great introdution. nice work!!

The final decision is yours in the end as you are the author however I would like to interject my opinion ( and it is only that) I feel it depends on who is doing the writing and how they feel at the time are they writing about themselves( obviously not) or about someone they know or just doing time in general. There is a big difference between doing time vs hard time de[ending on what the crime was in the first place you are certainly not going to put someone in a maximum security prison if the crime did not warrant it . True any time done in prison is hard , but I feel you used hard time to empasise the severity of the crime. In the end bottom line is you make the choice and I see you have removed the word hard I myself would not have . But that is my opinion either way the poem stands on it's merits excellent job on this one Chrys

Dont' doubt your gift, this was a great poem, that grabs you by the face early on , and says here, here is a dosge of cold HARD reality enjoy. And I did, thanks for sharing.

...and the last 2 lines resonate. keep the hard, it pushes the point, the feel. you've a new fan here, quite glad to read you, and waiting for more Niki

In my (very very very) humble opinion, I too feel that the 'hard' in hard time is unnecessary. Jail time is automatically associated with hard time and visa versa, so the extra jab isn't really needed. People know what you're talking about. I think you would really like the song "Win, Lose, or Draw" by the Allman Bros. Great song about hard time. Another is "the Truth" by Steve Earle. All in all, great write, and I agree that it almost seems like you're "toeing the line" with everyone and are right there with them. ~Jess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"

This really comes across very very well, Mind stiring for those that understand, As Always Richard.....I Love your work Very Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

5 Star Been there, done that, and what you wrote, that IS it Nothing more need be said

I liked your description on the emotional aspects of a life "inside" Moon~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous