With a 40 ounce in each hand
seemingly announcing her very age,

she more than likely felt much older
but we're all on a different page;

she breathed life in just like her cigars
deriving pleasure from each hue,

causing her world to seem so, colorless
except of course for her "shade" of blue.

She loved unconditionally, like any Mother
with a generous nature, with which to share,

explaining why she had so many friends
who miss her, and who really care.

"Hey let's go and hunt some deer!
on this early winter day
I've got a place not far from here
Let's go dad! What do you say?"

Sitting there he cleared his throat
"It seems," he said, "I'm catching cold
If they hear me cough it's all she wrote
We'll go before the year's too old"

Another week, the cough was worse
that damned cold wouldn't go away
I asked again, The" No "was terse
"We'll go again another day"

WINTER CHILLS
[inspired by Puccini's aria "Languide Carezze" [TOSCA]

WINTER CHILLS

The sky was frozen
sapphire still
and the sunlight pierced
through a sudden winter chill.
the days are getting colder
the Palm trees will not dance
tonight
In warm southern breezes

I turn my lights to dim,
sit in my easy chair
and for a moment
stare
into memories hidden
somewhere
in my mind

Why didn’t you tell me
long ago
what I now know:

they were like mini dreams
run through the mill
ideals crushed
delicate

structured
disciplined

stood there with her
mittens flexing
her spine bent
back looking up
at the black looking
back down

"Think God's in?"

I could hear the sizzle
of the high test utility
lines

"I don't know honey, If
he is in he's probably
busy hustling up business
cause we need all them
angels now"

Would you love me if I lived?
Would you love me if I died?
Would you love me if I was the only one who survived?
Would you love me if I crashed?
Would you love me if I burned?
Would you love me if I had nothing at all to give in return?
Would you love me if I failed?
Would you love me if I cried?
Would you love me if the whole wide world fell apart from the inside?

I may not have style,
And I may not have class,
I may not have money,
I hope with time that will pass,

I tell you this just so that you’ll know,
Just what you’re getting yourself into,
I am naught but a man,
But anything is what I’d do for you,

Now I can’t promise you a life of privilege,
Nor one devoid of pain,
Our lives will be full of hardship and toil,
And an ungodly amount of strain,

At last, I stand now
On the edge of the world
With no friend and no kin

O life! You fiendish autumn
For you have shed from me
The green leaves of bliss
All the glamour and glitz
And cast me away into the desolate places

There, my eyes no longer saw
Upon the horizons, the beacons;
The rising glow of the waking days
And the glimmers of the waking twilights

There is a vanishing point
between the horizon and jasmine sea
there are places we have to go
because we have a song to sing

you are here on this unwritten page
like poems we have yet to speak
like love that unmakes us
that splits the you and I
of us
into two
again
and again.

We drown in that distant light
deep with kisses and broken wings
that remember
the sound of our yielding.

another tear to shine my guitar
another stitch to rip out of a scar
another regret i regret that i had
but it's all that i ever had left

another knife to cut out my soul
my heart's beating backwards, i'm out of control
and don't say you're sorry, sweet sorrow is crushing
you can't hear her cry over red river rushing

do me a favor and let me forget
unplug your phone and get out of my head
i never knew anyone could be too close
but sometimes your memories are what i miss most

For Nothing is aught else but cold
and Nothing thrice is nothing more.
Chief requisite that aught is told
in epopee, archival lore
needst something wrought of nothing come to be.

Eternity does not begin.
Time renders never back its flow.
The Flame will have not origin.
Ablaze thru All and Aye, ergo
‘tis paradox the Will that would be Free.

Adum