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Dec 31, 2015
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VOL DE NUIT rewritten
.
VOL DE NUIT
sudden silences, different paths,
forsaken friendships of the past,
parallel lines intersecting
for a while,
feeding lies , faking words
faking smiles
abrupt endings
night flight to tangential lives
as we live so we die
alone
no one left to cry
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
10 years 3 months ago
I feel you did not finish your last words.
They are as important as the poetry itself as it shines light on who you are.
The poem is poignant.
Geremia
10 years 3 months ago
thanks./I will work on it.
thanks./I will work on it.
jor
Geezer
10 years 3 months ago
Usually...
I ask a poet, if they might find a way, to shorten the lines, but in this case, I kind of agree with Wes.
I'd like to see a more elegant, descriptive wording. I see the finality and the end of the poem. ~ Gee
Geremia
10 years 3 months ago
ok I'll work on it. Thanks,
ok I'll work on it. Thanks,