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A Portrait Session
A Portrait Session
Please sit, look straight ahead,
That photo on the wall? My mother.
Another time
I sat her here— where you are now
Before the world was whole,
She said that my birth was
a black mass spewing heavy light—
She was always very metaphorical.
Do you see her eyes?
Vacant I say,
bereft of her former self
Others see a quiet sadness,
a yearning to breach the sky again
To be the debris she created
Notice how still she sits.
A perfect subject in that way
Hands folded in her lap,
Legs together, slightly turned
away from the body
It does not show on her face but,
she loved this room—
Like you,
she sits, nondescript.
A vision—
On my wall
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Critiques
Geezer
4 days 6 hours ago
Sounds like...
a serial-killer to me!
A person who sees his dead mother's hand in everything that happens.
Professional photographer who views women with certain characteristics,
as being his mother trying to come back and reassert dominance over him.
Hey, that's what I got from this. The slightly fuzzed-out metaphorical "black mass spewing heavy light" remark. I could see an Alfred Hitchcock movie here.
"Notice how still she sits?" I knew right then... I am interested in seeing how the rest of your readers interpret this one. ~ Geezer