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Jun 20, 2026
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mermaid
cranium feels like eggs
scrambling around the tears
and anger.
why does it do this?
beating the cranium
as it beats back.
questioning, crying,
starving, laughing,
screaming, dying.
am i caged in?
can i not control myself?
will i lose it?
run by big hands and
little voices,
it reminds me of the past,
doubting the future
i panic and try to breathe
i struggle.
i'm drowning on land,
choking on air.
am i losing my mind?
am i slowly on the way
to frequent pills?
will i lose the little
hands and big voices
that control me?
— nimue, Jun 20, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
Whiskey and Ink
1 month ago
This is an incredibly raw,…
This is an incredibly raw, vivid, and vulnerable piece. You’ve captured the frantic, claustrophobic feeling of a panic attack or psychological spiral so accurately.
What I love about this poem:
The Metaphor: The title 'Mermaid' ties perfectly into the climax, "i’m drowning on land, choking on air". It’s a powerful way to describe feeling completely out of your element and suffocated by normal surroundings.
The Imagery: The opening image of a cranium feeling like "scrambling eggs" is brilliantly messy and physical. It instantly grounds the reader in that chaotic headspace.
Kudos.
nimue
1 month ago
thank you so much for your…
thank you so much for your kind words! I deeply appreciate it.
Tink
3 weeks 2 days ago
Howdy! I'm Tink
I love the imagery you create in this piece! I love its raw, honesty.
Good job.
I saw you popped in chat earlier tonight (6/28). We are getting ready to start themed rooms, hope to see you there.
Welcome to Neopoet! If I can help or answer any questions, please reach out.
Live, Love & Laugh,
(and don't forget to Write!)
Yours in Ink,
Tink
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