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This poem is part of the workshop:

Writing With Emotions

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This poem is part of the contest:

06/26 New Member Contest

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mermaid

cranium feels like eggs
scrambling around the tears
and anger.

 why does it do this?
beating the cranium
as it beats back.

questioning, crying,
starving, laughing,

screaming, dying.

am i caged in?

can i not control myself?

will i lose it?

run by big hands and
little voices,

it reminds me of the past, 

doubting the future

i panic and try to breathe
i struggle.

i'm drowning on land,
choking on air.

am i losing my mind?

am i slowly on the way
to frequent pills?

will i lose the little
hands and big voices
that control me?

— nimue, Jun 20, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Final polish

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

Whiskey and Ink

Whiskey and Ink

1 month ago

This is an incredibly raw,…

This is an incredibly raw, vivid, and vulnerable piece. You’ve captured the frantic, claustrophobic feeling of a panic attack or psychological spiral so accurately.

​What I love about this poem:

​The Metaphor: The title 'Mermaid' ties perfectly into the climax, "i’m drowning on land, choking on air". It’s a powerful way to describe feeling completely out of your element and suffocated by normal surroundings.

​The Imagery: The opening image of a cranium feeling like "scrambling eggs" is brilliantly messy and physical. It instantly grounds the reader in that chaotic headspace.

Kudos. 

Tink

Tink

3 weeks 2 days ago

Howdy! I'm Tink

I love the imagery you create in this piece! I love its raw, honesty.

Good job.

I saw you popped in chat earlier tonight (6/28). We are getting ready to start themed rooms, hope to see you there.

Welcome to Neopoet! If I can help or answer any questions, please reach out.

Live, Love & Laugh,

(and don't forget to Write!)

Yours in Ink,

Tink

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