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Jul 05, 2012
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HOME MOVIES-- edited
HOME MOVIES
Home movies black and white
faded celluloid 1940s
16 millimeter dry and brittle
flickering through time
a blinding light
and we splice a life
back together
again...
empty reflections
of yesterdays
flickering through time
— Geremia, Jul 05, 2012
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
Kailashana2
14 years ago
Try to find another word(s)
Try to find another word(s) instead of *soulless*. Maybe omit it if you can't.
Well, my opinion anyway, it's too redundant, and overused in poetry. Otherwise, this is another poem that rates another look. ;-)
~A
Geremia
14 years ago
ok "soulless" is gone to
ok "soulless" is gone to "empty''
Geremia
14 years ago
ok "souless" is gone to
ok "souless" is gone to "empty''
Ian.T
14 years ago
Joe
A good theme and well presented Anna's change seems to have worked as it read OK,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- hope you are coping with things, the children send their unconditional love, Sadie and friends
Geremia
14 years ago
Barely functional at times.
Barely functional at times. wheel chsir most of timr. sick from meds ,but I LOOK DAMN GOOD. Go figure.:)
Kailashana2
14 years ago
It's been said that nature
It's been said that nature abhors a vacuum. Your Gerimia-ness remains intact. Think of all the ugly people who are well enough. rofl.
Geremia
14 years ago
i guess.
i guess.
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