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Jun 12, 2026
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A Dream By The Bipolar Mind
Night after night, I have this dream
There is something there, something unseen
It’s there with me in the room, it’s there in the dark
When all of a sudden Poof there goes a big spark
I want to run, but I can’t get away
Is there something holding me wanting me to stay?
But it’s as if my feet are glued to the ground
I try to scream, but can’t make a sound
My heart begins to beat fast faster beat after beat
Trembling in fear, at what I might meet
What’s lurking in the shadows lurking with me?
When all of a sudden boom a noise, I can’t see
It’s all in my head there’s no one but me
There was no spark to be seen
Nor was there a boom in the room, how could this be?
It’s the dream of the bipolar mind don’t you see?
— streshenkofftheresa, Jun 12, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Critiques
neopoet
6 days 11 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem has a clear emotional core and a subject worth exploring: the disorienting, recursive quality of a troubled dream state and its relationship to a bipolar mind. The final stanza's turn, where the speaker reveals the sensory events were internal rather than external, is a structurally sound move, and the repetition of "lurking" in the third stanza does create a brief, effective moment of unease.
The main area to develop is the handling of rhyme and meter. Right now the end-rhymes feel forced in several places, which works against the poem's emotional stakes. Lines like "When all of a sudden boom a noise, I can't see" are shaped by the need to rhyme rather than by the image itself, and the result is syntactically awkward in a way that pulls the reader out of the dream rather than deeper into it. A useful revision approach would be to write out each stanza in plain prose first, capturing exactly what is happening and felt, then decide which moments genuinely call for rhyme and which do not. Loosening the rhyme scheme, or abandoning it selectively, would give the imagery room to be more precise and strange, which is what a dream poem needs most.
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Geezer
6 days 8 hours ago
Follow the A.I.
I think it has gotten it pretty much right. ~ Geezer.
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