scooby

Member since March 18, 2017

Member for 9 years, 2 months

member

63 Poems

15 Comments

1 Follower

Most recent

unmarked territory

Posted Jun 21, 2022 · 49 lines · 4 critiques

My body is an island.
Fossils, my scars,
Leave behind exoskeletons
Of abuse that was left
Engraved in the most beautiful
Parts of me.
I have craters from
Asteroids that promised
To destroy the pain but
Left me with an aftertaste far
Worse.
I seem to draws tourists
That all just take a picture
And leave

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Take a suvenere
And leave
Take advantage
And leave
Take off and leave.
My eyes ,volcanoes ,
Once dormant but now
Erupting constantly, leaving
My favorite parts of me in ruins.
I have earthquakes trying
To shake me stable
Before I become just
Another lost island sunk into
The ocean of suicide.
The ebb and flow of the wind,
Is the rise and fall of my chest.
The swaying of the Dewey grass,
The flowing of my hair.
I want one tourist
To show me the beauties of my island
I thought once erased .
I want one tourist
To say “home” and be referring to me.
I want one tourist to stay
Despite the storm
Despite the erupting tears
And most of all calm them.
I have caverns hiding the most fragile part of me
With stone walls protecting it from shattering.
I want one tourist
To love and protect what is inside,
My heart.
I am an island
And I am deserted,
and unmarked.

scooby’s timeline

January 2023
13 Fri

Received a critique
on One Day... from @Seren
"This ones many years old and not knowing you I dont know if you're still around, it's a little pedestrian and needs a lot of work but the skeleton is there if you want some help. sincerely Jayne-Chloe"
June 2022
22 Wed

Received a critique
on unmarked territory from @Candlewitch
"hello, it has been awhile. nice to see you again! your poem is most poignant. others have reviewed it, far better than and more eloquently than I could. I like the personification and metaphors. these are my favorite li…"
21 Tue

Received a critique
on unmarked territory from @Rosewood Apothecary
"If you ever just need to talk you can message me. I mean that unconditionally. That being said… I think this is a beautiful work. It shows a vulnerability that is often buried by societal constraints. There’s spelling a…"
21 Tue

Received a critique
on unmarked territory from @Jackweb
"The first line reads: 'My body is an island'.. This transcends the literal meaning and the metaphorical language activates the imagination, and the writer is more able to convey emotions and impressions through metaphor…"
21 Tue

Received a critique
on unmarked territory from @Geezer
"the meaning of this poem, is not about a true island, but rather metaphor for how the person supposedly writing this, feels about themselves. It is not easy, being a part of the world today, many times, we don't like wh…"
21 Tue

Posted a poem
unmarked territory
"My body is an island."
Open thread 49 lines
May 2022
29 Sun

Received a critique
on Mixed Messages (old poems #2) from @Candlewitch
"your poem has vivid images. I see a couple of relationships of mine in your lines. long past, fortunately. I know how it feels to be powerless and under someone else's control. it is a very high stressful situation. you…"
28 Sat

Received a critique
on Mixed Messages (old poems #2) from @Geezer
"Your title is good and the language equally so. I would use the words [leaving me [nuts] You seem to have an aversion to using apostrophes is there a reason for that? I'm glad you escaped his clutches and are on the roa…"
28 Sat

Posted a poem
Mixed Messages (old poems #2)
"He confuses me in every way,"
Open thread 18 lines
28 Sat

Received a critique
on Til' Death Due Us Part. (old poems #1) from @Candlewitch
"in these lines: Loving him is a death sentence, And I will ride it out. (and I will see it through) i will continue to love him, After he puts me six feet in the ground. (although his love is a fatal brew) this adds rhy…"
27 Fri

Posted a poem
Til' Death Due Us Part. (old poems #1)
"Loving him is a death sentence."
Open thread 12 lines
23 Mon

Posted a poem
Who am I? I am yours
"Do I run with the wolves,"
Open thread 12 lines
March 2022
18 Fri

Anniversary
5 years of membership
May 2021
06 Thu

Posted a poem
holding it in or letting it out
"It's this delicate dance between affection and lust."
Open thread 9 lines
01 Sat

Posted a poem
The thoughts, feelings, actions.
"How can you say you care when you don't spare me a thought"
Open thread 6 lines
April 2021
30 Fri

Posted a poem
The Art of Loving You
"If you were a school ,I am a student, and you are the subject,"
Open thread 18 lines
29 Thu

Posted a poem
sentences
"“I put verbs in my sentences and i get to the bottom line”"
Open thread 15 lines
27 Tue

Posted a poem
You and Us
"You throw me words like bullets, I try to deflect."
Open thread 10 lines
August 2020
30 Sun

New follower
@Gracy
26 Wed

Posted a poem
Faith
"We learn to see beauty in the rain."
Open thread 8 lines
December 2019
15 Sun

Posted a poem
Addiction
"A real addict doesn’t say they are"
Open thread 18 lines
January 2019
14 Mon

Posted a poem
Addiction
"one more sip"
Open thread 4 lines
March 2018
18 Sun

Anniversary
One year of membership
April 2017
17 Mon

Critiqued
"Thoughts from the bath" by @jane210660
"I love how catchy this poem is. Thank you for writing it, it really made my day. :)"
March 2017
25 Sat

Critiqued
"Your nothing, are you" by @Hope21pilots
"that is an amazing point of view of ife to look at. I wish that you would write more and I cant wait to see some more of you work"
19 Sun

Critiqued
"Heads In The Street" by @chevyvent
"in my opinion you should keep writing things like this. it may be confusing but as long as it makes since to you then at least it makes since. what you've written here is inspiring and amazing."
18 Sat

Critiqued
"Butterfly" by @Conect11
"I love the way you use vocabulary to express how you feel through words. most people have to be so very detailed to portray their emotion but you use one word that expresses everything and the point gets across. thank y…"
18 Sat

First critique offered
on "Butterfly" by @Conect11
18 Sat

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
15 Wed

Highest posting month
March 2017 — 9 poems
February 2008
07 Thu

First publication
LOVE BECOMES PAIN

About Me

About me

I like spoken word poetry and n help on writing. I need someone to give me constructive criticism so I can push myself to be better.

Location: yuma az

Favorite Poets

Neil Hilborn

Kevin Kantor

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

on One Day... from @Seren

on unmarked territory from @Candlewitch

on unmarked territory from @Rosewood Apothecary

on unmarked territory from @Jackweb

on unmarked territory from @Geezer

on Mixed Messages (old poems #2) from @Candlewitch

on Mixed Messages (old poems #2) from @Geezer

on Til' Death Due Us Part. (old poems #1) from @Candlewitch

5 years of membership

One year of membership

"Thoughts from the bath" by @jane210660

"Your nothing, are you" by @Hope21pilots

"Heads In The Street" by @chevyvent

"Butterfly" by @Conect11

on "Butterfly" by @Conect11

Membership begins

March 2017 — 9 poems

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By