Seren

Jul 03, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Shooting time

life conspires against us
from the first breath,
we are coddled and
protected,
in our tribes
and pride

until we find the crossroad,
with a never-ending
path branching out

and we explore
this firmament
that covers our orb

we fly to the stratosphere
and dive backwards
doing back-flips
into nothing

all the while the duel and duck
with the reaper continues,
but I'm putting him on notice
I can shoot the fuzz off a peach

and I know,
I can't out shoot him forever
but I can buy more time

— Seren, Jul 03, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

loved

16 years ago

sweet words

....is all i can say wait i may amend tomorrow its late today addendum i am dumb to add on any more for i am a smaller poet in front of you so do not me lure to add on any more.. for you are my worldly inspiration

Seren

16 years ago

Awwww Loved

Thank you very much ... lovely comment love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

judyanne

16 years ago

i so love this one jc

a couple of typos i think we are coddled and protected, in our tribe’s (tribes - no apostrophe) or pride’s (prides - also no apostrophe - if you meant the animal family and not the human emotion - but then too the human emotion works well here) and also in what is by the way my favourite stanza - and I know, I cant out shoot him forever (can't) but I can buy more time nominated and bookmarked love and hugs judd xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Judd

Thanks for the corrections hun fixed them today (i think) got your message about the honey and Garlic thanks heaps ~! I will give it a go at this stage lol I am willing to try poison, god I am sick of being sick lol love and biggest hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

16 years ago

Out of your box

Seren, Out of your box my fine lady. As you know I write of war and well things that most wish to never dwell upon. I write from my mind places I have seen and of life. I am different than the majority of poets and tend to find things written mundain from time to time. Speaking for just three me myself and I. My oppinion is that this poem is well placed. Understanding most of it yet still looking to the phrase back flips into nothing. I laugh at myself as I place your poetry to life. It would be stupid for me to do a back flip in the yard as I wonder if I did not land on my feet. Yet I can still shoot the hair off a frog that took a ride on a bevers back. At three hundred yards with open sights. Thanks for the read as a poem well placed short yet to the point of life as truth. Good luck and Gods speed to the next. Your friend you have never meet. SAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Steven A Kacer

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Steven

You have given me pause for thought .. that phrase the backflipping into nothing has a definate meaning for me but I will correct it a little and make it cleaer in the understanding :) thanks for pointing that out its a weakness in the poem I missed :) lol I can do backflips in the yard lol and cartwheels and I can shoot the fuzz off a peach I grew up country and in the country we live in you need to know how to use a gun ... been shooting longer than I been wearing dresses lmao thank you for the read and the great comment much appreciated love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

16 years ago

Just you

Seren. My lady I wish to explain. I Steven was born in Alaska the year of sixty two. A military brat and yes family there from the eighteen hundreds. I laugh as I myself am just a mechanic. Two of my uncle's were airminded Airforce. One as to his salt. His brain child was the wind tunnel. The other well he flew the B-52 in three no come home missions. I laugh as my father also airforce was to set the matches of the fourty five in England. My brother James was Navy he was the fool that road a chopper and jumped to the drink when a fly boy wen't down. My brother Floyd well he was a incountry grunt yes a Marine. very different than I. Myself yes a Marine a sniper in a war already over. Strange to this day I was never there to kill a person yet what the heck. My orders were not the same as placed to parchment my friend. No matter I live to say I was there no matter what is placed to my grave. So smile for me as I love this country as I laugh at myself. My truck was stolen from my drive. I could have taken the fools life yet all I had in my hand was a Infield and I said no as not to know if the bullet would end up in a nother not commiting a crime. So I called the police what a joke. Well I guess I have ran my mouth enough. Good luck and Gods speed to the morrow my lady that can shoot the whiskers off of a spider. Your frien Steven A. Kacer

xena465

16 years ago

Excellent JayCee

If I could do a back-flip for you on this great write I would. So I'll just give you a standing ovation instead...Brilliant. PS. I love the title. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Xena

Glad you like the title I was going to call it Calamity Jayne, no joke, but I thought that was a little too lighthearted for the content, Im going to save that title for another poem lol thanks for the lovely comment love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

scribbler

16 years ago

shooting

From the moment of birth ,we travel ever closer to our death.Doesn't mean we should accept it right now though."Rage,rage against the dying of the light".Very well put poem of same intent.Kudos+ nom......scribbler

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Stan

shirley harrison

16 years ago

this speaks loud and clear "sister" !

wow Seren, Make the most of life take what you have and make it worth something and never give up! even when they shoots us down we get up for more! ok i will shut up now, You are a wonderful poetess! with much looove! shirley harrison

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Shirley

thanks for the read, my intent was a little from what you have taken away from it but if you took that message away from this ? its vaild :) once we poets let our poems go into the big bad world ... whatever the reader takes well its valid, its their read and their imagination after all love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

raj

16 years ago

Dear JayCee

i feel as if struck by a shooting star...after reading your write...i just can't wait for the next one to enlighten my skies (read mind)...Boy!! this is an awesome write (read light)... much love n hugz... raj (sublime_ocean)...

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Raj

You may have to wait a day or two I am a little busy with life at the moment and my poetry is crying for attention but will have to wait, I have more important things going on at the moment will try and get some time tonight, fingers crossed, thanks for the wonderful comment I appreciate it love and hugs JayCee x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Professor Purple

16 years ago

A great, inspiring write!

My favourite lines are the same as Cat's. You can't outshoot him forever, but it's by never giving up and savouring every small victory that you shine and inspire. Now you got me curious about "Calamity Jayne", too! Antoine

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Antoine

Calamity Jayne is on her way I wrote a rough draft the other night lol but its in the process of being born so it maybe a week or two away yet lol ... I work on my poems for sometimes a day ? sometimes months it just depends on serendipity shes after all my muse lol thanks for the support and the wonderful comment love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

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