your chance

to me, good poetry doesn't have to be dense, cryptic, or insrcutable. Plain speak is sometimes harder to pull off, but when it works, communicates, makes sense, it (to me) is the best way to go. You do very well in this regard. later, buddy list friend, AL

Sorry, I can offer no suggestions for improvement. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

Good poem. My only suggestion is to consistently use either lower case or capital "I". "I" is a proper noun and should be used in poetry. I hope have helped you. I think your poem is a good narrative. Always, Cat

direct and to the point,,great emotion,,great read and write

Sinthia, I must say the poem is not of my time I would spend. And in saying that I will also offer your gray a shake. As it was worth the time spent. I laugh at myself from time to time as a redneck lost in his own demise. I love the written word and consider myself a poet. I have no clue to offer nore a speach as to the correct way to place quill to parchment my friend. I can only say you are a poet and worth the read. P.S. If I found a typo it would be lost in less time than it took for me to be a ignorant fool looking to only letters placed in a order. Have a fine fourth of July. Your friend forever and a day. SAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.