weirdelf

May 31, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Beggarman

Not thirty years ago there were no beggars
in this city,
none.

and yet, and yet
I leave the shopping mall encumbered
(grousing a little at the weight)
and there is a beggarman
kneeling up painfully,
arms outstretched,
entreating.

Revulsion! Deep within me,
at myself and those around me,
I have to ask
is that the price we truly need?
Pain and abject loss of dignity?

Not thirty years ago there were no beggars
in this city,
none.

Shame must be borne!
A bounteous country gave care and succour
to those who can’t do for themselves.
These folk are real,
be it neuro-chemicals astray
or merely victims of life’s harsh way
we can provide, but don't,
give from ourselves or
our pretty playthings

Blame must be borne!
going by many names
economic rationalism, privatisation,
globalisation, corporate capitalism
the trickle down effect
is a bull market in a china shop of souls
the safety net lowered,
below ground.

The shame and blame belong
with all who dare to care
to carry them
and yet try,

For now there are beggars on our streets.

— weirdelf, May 31, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

mona

16 years ago

1+1=2-1=1

greedy people +Generous=generous people /poor people-greedy=non beggars . can be happened! I don't think so ,but always there is HOPE good work with respect MONA

weirdelf

16 years ago

Has happened. Does happen.

Massive corporate profits- a tiny %= no beggars. It was that way in Australia and can be in any reasonably well off country. In fact there is enough for the whole world, at the moment. I'm disappointed by the cynicism displayed here. If it has happened, if it can even be thought of, it can be. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

mona

16 years ago

Massive corporate profits- a

Massive corporate profits- a tiny %= no beggars. ? the change should be started from inside first before-any (cash)if you need=no beggars its not cynicism its the reality 1+1=2-1=1

weirdelf

16 years ago

the change must surely come from within,

but within what? The cynical view is that it must come from within people, which religion has failed and human evolution may yet achieve... one day. Change from within the society is much more realisable. It has happened and can happen. It is true that before the right-wing governments of Fraser and Howard dismantled or privatised public health care in Australia there was virtually no homelessness, certainly no necessary homelessness and only then the mentally ill found themselves begging in the streets. I have no longer expect a socialist revolution in wealthy countries in my lifetime, But do see clearly that the ravages of un-regulated capitalism can be moderated with socialistic measures hence: Massive corporate profits- a tiny % (tax)= no beggars. Is just humane, logical. This will probably start an argument with those Americans who still have their own "inner Joe MacCarthy". But I would much rather discuss the poetics of the piece. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

themoonman

16 years ago

Jess...

How are you doing? I liked your poem but I did have a couple of suggestions that you might hate. The first stanza, to me, would be more powerful if you left out "of course" and "it would seem obvious", both lines seem redundant, and I believe I would also change the second "empty handed". Upright on his knees, feels like it needs something, perhaps punctuation and a "but"... The bad thing about offering suggestions is, it may be that I would write it differently, makes one somewhat apprehensive at times. Content... I rarely comment on content, unless I find it so interesting I can't contain myself, or the author seems to be looking for validation or opposition. This poem definitely comes under the interesting heading, I know that here in America there were fewer street people twenty years ago too, but they were there. It's sad to think that there are so many more people across the world that can't even feed themselves, let alone their family. Richard

weirdelf

16 years ago

I hated the opening myself, truth be told,

overtones of a funeral service, which, allegorically, to me, represented the decline of social services in a world economy of "economic pragmatism", which is itself a most horrid euphemism because there is enough that people don't need to starve or go homeless. Also agreed about that second stanza, what I wanted to convey is the difference between someone sitting there with a hat in front of them and someone abjectly begging. Still not happy but I guess this will be a work in progress. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

lou

16 years ago

Social comment

A poem with a strong social theme. lou xx

DawningDaytripper

16 years ago

I agree with Richard, and I

I agree with Richard, and I don't feel like doing the mechanics at the moment. But I did like the read, you can tell we are in a world wide recession. You captured a small part very well, brought it home. It is a good story and point of view, thanks for sharing Jess, catch ya soon. Julie D.D.

weirdelf

16 years ago

It's not about the recession

It's to do with the corporate greed that caused the recession and how it has affected policies regarding social services. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Lonnie

16 years ago

Fabulous and Truthful!

Now me, I've been homeless and wouldn't panhandle even if I were starving, but I do realize that there are some folks out there who probably have no choice and with those, I sympathize! Great pieces, Jess, very well-penned!

weirdelf

16 years ago

thanks mate, we both been there and feel the same,

in aussie the "stigma" against begging is even stronger because we have had stronger socialist influences so it was seen as un-necessary, except in most extreme circumstances. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Kailashana

16 years ago

I’ve seen beggars on the

I've seen beggars on the street since I was a little girl in downtown Cleveland. I learned that many of them were pros. In India, they have cut of children's hands & blinded them in order to make better beggars. I have one question for every living being and it's a philosophical one. Would anyone lower their standard of living to enable another family to raise theirs? (Please leave the feasibility out...remember it's a philosophical one.) It's questions like that we have to ask. And hold those who hold the world's purse strings accountable for what they do and how they make their money. It's time to ask who the corporation is if not its people...their boards, their stock holders and the consumer. Consumerism gone amuck is the first rung of this world-wide fiasco. ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

weirdelf

16 years ago

Well a resounding yes from most people, Anna,

who hasn't in some way? Or is that just the people I hang out with? The question is accountability- corporations having the rights of people but none of the accountability, not to mention soul, make a perfect front for mean-minded unaccountable shareholders to hide behind. Consumerism is a symptom, corporatism is the faceless evil. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Kailashana

16 years ago

This like asking the

This like asking the question: which came first, the chicken or the egg? I know of many *corporations* that are fair-minded, actually treat their employees like family they care about; they know that this practice engenders loyalty, an honest day's work and fewer *sick days*. So in my opinion, it is consumerism run amuck that created soulless corporations; the biggest corporations are our governments. And who are they? People like you and me who have forgotten what life is all about. Hint: it's not having *keeping up with the Joneses*. It's not about bigger and better. It's not about recreating the masses of the disadvantaged and dispossessed to balance the few powerful who lack compassion & who bought into the *the poor will always be with us* mentality. It seems to me the really poor are truly those who lack soul & spirit. Now let me see what you can do with the poem. The theme deserves the best you have to offer, Jess.. ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

weirdelf

16 years ago

that's just what I was going to ask you for, and is what I want

is how to make this better? I'm pretty happy with some of the lines and feelings evoked, but it needs tightening up, or perhaps loosening somehow. Any ideas? Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Breakinglogic

16 years ago

Oh wow I liked this one. I

Oh wow I liked this one. I see your not content with the write yet, alas I can't offer any critisism. Will look forward to a revised version if it comes :)

weirdelf

16 years ago

I think I'm getting closer!

Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

xena465

16 years ago

Brilliant Jess

In our main street in Glasgow there are beggars every few hundred yards with their little cup, hat etc; hoping for some spare change. Most of them spend what they get on cheap booze, because that’s the only respite from their menial sad existence. Some even sit with their skinny dogs by their side. It breaks my heart to see this. I know this write is more than my comment offers, but I would just like to say that...I love it for what it means to me. Cheers Jess. Xena

weirdelf

16 years ago

thankyou so much Rosina

You know I was on the verge of deleting this poem because what shocked and appalled me so much seems to be a common-place everywhere else, but if it has any validity at all I will leave it. thankyou, Jess,

xena465

16 years ago

Dear Jess

Please don't delete it. It's very much a sad tale in every respect. Xena

mona

16 years ago

Dear Jess

please don't delete it ,Its the painful truth in beautiful poem. ..POETS.. BY: Qassim Haddad Poets draw nature before it prefigures itself and they invent and build a hut abandoned by a gang of thugs. They sing sometimes and they form a road so water can take the shape of a river. They instill in mud the memory of the trees. A bird discovers its colors in the phrases of a poem, and picks its rare name. When poets leave sleep behind the young thugs begin their rampage. They romp a little and they throng as if nature is ambushing them. They storm and they thunder. And their limbs begin to thin as if the seasons were all about to start, as if childhood selected its shapes suddenly, and eyes gaze only at the perseverance of nature. And the young thugs commit their sins sip by sip the way poems clash against the triumph of time. Creatures offer gifts and take their tempting shapes as if a tongue made creation. And people, still startled by their inception, face the thin ice adorning their mirrors to see what the poets have done to our feeble dreams. Poetry maligns speech and the young thugs commit forgivable sins the way an infant scratches a breast then weeps to it the way a text breaks its intentions. Then the apple of love descends enamoring a woman with a lost lover, the way the wolf divulges the myth of the bloody shirt and the innocent brothers confess their crime and nature forgives a careless creator then praises him.http://www.adab.com/en/modules.php?name=Sh3er&doWhat=lsq&shid=21&r=&start=15 ............................... SO LEAVE THE TRUTH JESS ,YOU ARE A POET: Messenger OF THE TRUTH MONA

Geezer

16 years ago

Greed...

I was thinking that you were trying to hold forth two ideas, in one verse. Makes it a little difficult. I would try to leave the differences in beggars, for another verse. It is enough that the beggar was there at the shopping-mall, where all manner of things that he could never afford, are being sold, [likely to the person grousing about the weight of his bounty]. There are other places, where your ideas seem to run together. Try to present your ideas with a bit less dissemination. I hope that helps, ~ Gee

Breakinglogic

16 years ago

Hey Jess, Came back to read

Hey Jess, Came back to read again after your edits :) this write definitely reads well and puts off a strong message. I don't quite follow the last stanza though, I somehow got lost in the wording, I think it's just me. Anyways, love the revision, peace and cheers, logic

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Jess

I remember a time when Sydney nor any other towns in country NSW rarely had homeless ... but homeless kids are prevalent in the town I come from I think I have told you about it before I have to agree with you on this subject others will have different views but we know our own country and this country in the last 20 years has changed and I dont mean for the better brilliant poem sorry to find it late love and hugs Jayne-Chloe ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

Beauregard

16 years ago

After all this commentary,

I am not sure if I am qualified to comment. I don't understand any of the economic side, that was one of my worst subjects in high school. Nonetheless, I will not forgo doing my best to offer you a critique. -- Mechanics 2.3: "growsing" --> 'grousing' (unless this is a matter of differences in American English and British/Australian English) Word Choice I am not sure how I feel about the rhymes, Jess. I think the rhyme adds a necessary relief to the intensity of the poem. On the other hand, I think some of the rhymes also make the poem seem too nursery rhyme-like for the topic and tone. "Shame and blame" is the main rhyme that I seem to have issues with. Also, something about "revulsion" on 3.1 is not sitting quite right with me. I think 'repulsion' would work a bit better. Order/Form No issues here. I particularly liked the descending shape/sound of your refrained stanza (stanzas one and four) Intent/Metaphor The intent of this poem comes in loud and clear and I don't think there is any kind of metaphor or figurative language in this piece. You had something to say and so you just said it. No circumlocution or filtering or sugar-coating. Other than that, I can't comment much on the economic topic, all I can say is governments like to try the trickle down effect and it's never worked. I think they should give "trickle up" a try for once! Imagery/Tone The straightforward disgust and anger in this piece is spot on. I really liked "bull market in a china shop of souls". -- Hope I've been helpful, man. Kelsey

Damo

16 years ago

Repress nothing! What you

Repress nothing! What you say can never be said enough...what a clever little elf you are!!!

Geezer

16 years ago

As much...

as I enjoyed this the first time around[ even though I didn't say so] I like it even more, with the changes you have made. I do indeed, share your views on corporate greed. The CEO's make way too much money, and are not held accountable for their actions. ~ Gee

judyanne

16 years ago

great write jess

'a bull market in a china shop of souls' describes it perfectly there never used to be beggars in Perth either a sad sign of the era of humanities greatest selfishness what can we do? love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

weirdelf

16 years ago

thank you so much kelsey, as the first person to mention

my favourite line at least "is a bull market in a china shop of souls" yet no-one noticed the safety net below ground. Have taken on board most of your suggestions, especially splitting the shame/blame thing. Thanks also to Damo and Geezer. This poem is finished now, as much as a poem can be, I mostly want to thank Kelsey, Anna, Richard and Caren (who none of you know or will) Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

Beauregard

16 years ago

No problem

Jess. You're very welcome! Kelsey

Geezer

16 years ago

If I helped at all...

I'm glad. You've made this an awesome poem. Social comment at it's best! ~ Gee

shirley harrison

16 years ago

this poem speaks volumes!

Dear Jess, This poetry speaks to our world of today and to us!it was a great pleasure for me to leave a comment! wonderful poetry! shirley harrison

panaella

16 years ago

I'm late to the party as usual!

Wow, Coruscating commentary...I think whilst we have a capitalistic system of exchange and rewards, those thrown onto the harsh fringes of society are going to feel the cruel weight of indifference. I believe certain corporations and banking industries that reward risk and greed should be made to donate tiny %'s to welfare funds. However, Jess, I've seen 'professional' beggars too...getting free booze to numb their nihilistic existence...I've also seen true begging out in Poland and the terrible racial prejudice shown to a woman & child who were clearly starving because they were ethnic gypsies. (Sign) About the mechanics of your poem...the opening stanzas with the double negative just grates like fingers down a chalk board..(sorry)..lol...the rhyme relieves the sombre and angry tone...and the imagery, 'bull market in a china shop of souls' is just brilliant! It's getting my vote because I want it spotlighted. Luv Ells x

weirdelf

16 years ago

Ah, it is a complex thing, and as I read over the comments

I realise that the whole poem is informed by a lifetimes reading and research into politics, economics and a plethora of other stuff. Even the title is a reference to Ursula K. Leguin's "The Dispossessed", which, although a sci-fi novel, is the ultimate text on archo-syndicalist society. Re the triple negative, I can see how it grates, although it doesn't for me, it reinforces the negativity of the whole situation. Not thirty years ago there were no beggars in this city, none. Just thirty years ago there were no beggars [ok, but Just or Merely or Barely would grate with a teenage reader, although it does work in a historical context] Thirty years ago there were no beggars [too precise, it's been a process] maybe even Over the last thirty years beggars have appeared [then would lose the 3rd line.] What do you reckon? Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

Beauregard

16 years ago

Grating teenagers

may I borrow that? 'Thirty years ago our city was free of beggars, no not even one', just another idea. Kelsey

Esker

16 years ago

in the depression Grandmother fed sandwichs for piling wood

just up from the rails in our rail town I like that you crafted a poem and neither loaned a coin and that was that There is good thought in the poem for poetic peice and some questions I am often reminded now of the thirties and how its not like that anymore Where are todays Woody Guthries to sign of giant dams and runaway oil wells in Gulf of Mexico?? Esker~

weirdelf

15 years 12 months ago