loved

Apr 30, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Tormented still

Tormented Still

You apparently suffer

As you now realize

Twas inherent

In your ordainment.

Your soul vibrates
To the hollow noises

The suppressed voices

With -in you
as you perceive

A veil of cut -throat-ism
in the pit of your inners

You subject your self
to fruitless
violent torture

Of your own creation
that's of your own volition.

Did you ever realize

How berated I felt

At your instance.

Berserk I wander

In the darkness

Of a hollow night

Merging my very inners

Into pieces of shredded

Imaginary loins

Wherein in I may still find

The comfort twas once

My absolute domain

Alas we torment our souls

Which view different cliffs?

Profound in our imagination

As to who
shall take the first step
towards the valley
of seeming nothingness

Perhaps you look upwards

Then leave me that far behind

On the paths of desolate loneliness

As you sincerely pray

It hadn't’t really happened

That way

But then
now it’s too late....

THIS I FEEL IS MY LIFE'S MASTER PIECE
AND I WOULD EXHORT
ALL FRIENDS ,
FOES AND CRITICS ,
TO kindly COMMENT.

THIS IS ABOUT THE LIFE OF AN ACTUAL LADY
RESIDING IN UK.
Hope you will bless this poem .

though it made it to Evolution
but i think this is the point of my final horizon
which no longer is a mirage
at least to my mind.

— loved, Apr 30, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

Critiques

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

This is great

I love the flow. You're in tune with your poetic nature Loved. Rosina xena465

lyz

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Lovely

Bravo. Very well written. Sad words but, bravo. You have excelled. Love Lyz. XX

barbsdad2003

16 years 1 month ago

A delightful ...

promise shines through this piece. Lots going for you. So nice to see. And If I may take This opportunity, May I advise You keep on writing; With effective Practice, you'll get Better, as, to an Apparent degree, You've already done. And I'm sure, as To whomever agrees with This, I'll not be The only one. Power lines you've penned here include, in my view: Berserk I wander In the darkness Of a hollow night And See towards different cliffs You've mounted quite a challenge for yourself in this piece here. As a rule, poetry that complains (some say rants) doesn't work very well. I suspect that perhaps the only way you could improve on this write is to spawn a message indirect, that slants sideways, that alludes. Surprisingly, to me anyway, indirectness can be (far) more powerful than hitting the nail on its head. Impressive try, though. I'm more than happy to give you that. I'm looking forward to more. And last, not least: I'm glad you're here (at this site). Thanx much, Chuck

loved

16 years 1 month ago

DELIGHTFUL

YOU overwhelm me sir the rest i shall message for it won't be appropriate here. thanks loved

loved

16 years 1 month ago

DELIGHTFUL

I speak my mind in simple words people read in them riddles What can I say about poetry? I don't know the nuances any but on the other site I have friends fifteen hundred as many. I often fool myself and they call me a poet as so many grace with comments, like you do, this site is perhaps not meant for me who knows nothing about abject poetry LOVED

barbsdad2003

16 years 1 month ago

Oops!

My chief critic's advised me that my "whomever" in my latter comment should be "whoever." My bad! Regards, Chuck

loved

16 years 1 month ago

u mean

....whom so ever it may concern right? thanks okkokk

shirley harrison

16 years 1 month ago

not to whom it may concern

although those who write about strong things yes, it does concern obviously,however as you say it can also just reach out to an individual,very innocently.Things that concern one person may never concern another.The beauty of poetry is that it can simply spark a light, that has been dead for years or has just simply turned out recently or just turned on and may i say in this comment that "the world revolves around no person in paticular". shirley harrison

shirley harrison

16 years 1 month ago

poetry to me is exactly that!

Individual taste, and you are definately mine! your words are put so beautifully together and You are to me an excellent Poet. much love to you. shirley harrison

loved

16 years 1 month ago

IF ONLY

if only your words were so true which I don't doubt but all I wish more like you knew, what’s poetry from the core of ones heart what makes love its integral part what makes those whose egos bloat Know what poetry once I wrote. its because of lovely admires like you, I still exist and Hope many knew… LOVED

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Loved

Your no fool ... the jig is up lol great poem love JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

loved

16 years 1 month ago

But I am

Many times I’ve been naive that’s what I learnt after many years of being docile it actually does mean Foolish… someone like me living in a fool's paradise with eyes blindfolded Twas I… That’s still me… LOVED BY ONE AND ALL

ziggy

16 years 1 month ago

hi m

hi a little different for you a sad lament indeed well written go on i`ll even give ya 5 big stars lol ,,,,cheers , now see i did read .........zigs

loved

16 years 1 month ago

lament

thats the spirit the person for whom i wrote it for, is an excellent divorced one loved

lyz

16 years 1 month ago

Reread

Still five for you but I cannot nom again. A wonderful write Lovely. XX

loved

16 years 1 month ago

duplicate deletede

loved

16 years 1 month ago

staRS

stars I see daily no not in the sky its always cloudy but in each one of you here who all are each one a star for me my dear loved

loved

16 years ago

evolution now

missed the spot its really hot do read its nice one indeed

Breakinglogic

16 years ago

Loved,

It's easy to see how you made evolution :) Your poetic excellence is greatly evident here. Changing your title... a gesture so kindly intent, even though yours was more deserving, im humbled congrats loved, on evolution :) peace and cheers, logic

loved

16 years ago

u flatter well

Each poetry, is different As much as are ones genes But the beauty of a poem Is written in the genes Of the beholder in between Your poem was worth the stream Mine was good cream And When two poets meet Life ensues in extreme, To give way is a gentle way Some want to always affront That’s just by their way They’re shallow is all I’d say, Have your feast enjoy And Have a good day loved and lovely www.triond.com lovelyhoney

loved

15 years 11 months ago

another one

Child out of Wed-Bed-lock prepoem in blog

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Loved

Nice to see you in evolution congratulations love JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

loved

16 years ago

thanks till

yesterday second one also on evolution was renovated love i have't visited that as yet have u

Thulisile

16 years ago

you drove my depression even

you drove my depression even deeper .great poem

loved

16 years ago

deeper

....meaning bad to worse or better removed it now? not quite clear thanks any way hope u liked it

loved

15 years 11 months ago

u r beautiful

..dark and lovely mind u have this poem was on EVOLUTION for quite some time i had to change the title in favour of another poet whose work was spotlighted and much better thanks ...at night as i do i was always told i am best at my poems as a night owl so i call myself a rattish owl nite or not day is just about the same i love poetry even in dreams I compose the best of the ones i can claim Thank you all for your lovely moral support I live on your shoulders as you read over mine and I love to thank each one individually hope you don’t mind I am unable to render such attention I wonder is time a limitation I shall try to solve my miscalculation till then abide with me I am a loner come ride with me