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M
magics02
Apr 07, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Jasmine's Breeze

Jasmine's Breeze

Lushness of greens, shades of white
Jasmine's fragrance both day and night
Twisting vines trailing up and above
Planted with brothers everlasting love

Jasmine's dancing in the lights of  sun
Finally the spring has just begun
New buds sprouting up everyday
Splendor of color, the jasmine's way

Climbing the vines of new beginnings
Awakens the morning birds a singing
Sweetened nectar homs in the bees
Scents arise, with the jasmine's breeze.


 

Mms 4.07.10


 

— magics02, Apr 07, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

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Critiques

xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

A vivid lovely description

A vivid lovely description of the joys of nature Mona...Beautiful. Rosina xena465
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you so much Xena

Glad you liked this one, I too loved it. LOL Love Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
TS

The Seeker

16 years 2 months ago

Good morning Mona :-)

beautiful Relaxing sounds great, and nature wonderful words . Wish you have a nice day . Love,Light and Harmony The Seeker
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Question

Like circle in a spiral like wheel within a wheel What are you saying here Kal Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Of course you never answer

My questions after you live a comment. hmmmmm what is that all about may I ask, is this a critique or just one of your sayings you leave me all the time. Why not answer the question Kal? Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you my Ephy

Gor gracing my page and I tweaked it some more, thanks for all the feedback my neopets!!\ Love, Mona xoxoxo Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Mona

I was scrolling my way down to offer suggestions Mona but i see Ephy has beat me too it lol good suggestions EPH ~! damn scary one of your suggestions was nearly identical to one I was going to make lol nice write of spring Mona Love JayCee x x
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you lovely JC

I appreciate all the good critique on this one. It was a fun and lovely visionary for me too. Love, Mona xoxoxo Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Mona

May I suggest that since you have used "beauty" twice in this poem that you substitute "lushness of green" for the first one. Beauty is such a cliche word that it is best to find a replacement for it when possible. I liked the poem. Nice visuals. Love, Cat
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Yes thank you all for the feedback

You are so correct and I need to find better words to substitute beautiful I totally agree and thanks for stopping by Golden Lady Love, Mona xoxox Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

I think you are the jasmine here Mona

Ann of Norway You are dancing and make us sense the flowers and their heady scent so white, so beautiful they are against the dark green of their leaves. I am going to give you the five here, Love to your blossoms in Florida, and you, from Ann in the rain.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Oh thank you dear Ann of Norway

I am so happy you liked this one as it is a time for many vines of scents and flowers to bloom once again. Oh and yes the pollen too. Love to you dear friend indeed xoxox Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

I think you are the jasmine here Mona

Ann of Norway You are dancing and make us sense the flowers and their heady scent so white, so beautiful they are against the dark green of their leaves. I am going to give you the five here, Love to your blossoms in Florida, and you, from Ann in the rain.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Indi

Why did you erase your comment? This is a first from you. Hope all is well Love, Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Please elaborate or contemplate lol

I see it honey and you can comment either way I would love to hear of it you know I take something from each person if I can to fix er up!! Love Ya friend Mona xxxxoxox
judyanne

judyanne

16 years 2 months ago

love it magic mona

'Lushness of green mixed with soften shades of white' - just me. i stutter with the 'soften' - perhaps just 'soft' would help the flow (as well as the grammer) Jasmine bushes fragrant both day and NIGHTT - (Typo) My mother had jasmine all along the side fence of the last house she lived in - i used to love the smell of jasmine until she moved into this house. too much of it made the smell too powerful, it was so strong - it really stank. made us feel sick still love jasmine in small doses but no where near as much as i used to. love judy
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you Judy Anne

I fixed my typos and does softened sound better? I know the strength of them could give you also a migraine headache, that is why we are planted them not on top around the pool area. Soon we will swim with the jasmines LOL Love ya gal Mona xoxox Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you Lovely

I so appreciate you gracing my page and thank you for the comment dear friend Love Ya, Mona xoxoxo Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

16 years 2 months ago

Splendor and dancing, the

Splendor and dancing, the white jasmine is a symbol of friendliness and a kind disposition. An elegantly crafted write magic :) peace and cheers, logic
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Morning

THank you Logic I love the way you say splendor and dancing the white jasmine. I apprecaite you gracing my page and hope to chat soon with you. Love Mona xoxoxo Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
OM

odd molly

16 years 1 month ago

*scent of innocence and

*scent of innocence and darling scent of jasmine and snow miracle snow...* I so loved your poem dear Mona. love. o molly
M

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

Thank you Ms Molly

Loved seeing you here dancing in the winds what a great pic and is that you? I see an eagle besides you also. I wrote a poem about Molly here somewhere now I need to go find it and it kind of reminds me of you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this scent of jasmine and I appreciate the star studded comment the most!! Love ya gal Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.