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Anarchy (dedicated to all & NeoPoet.com)

I’ve walked the road of confusion,

danced the steps of freedom;

wandered many a mile of hope,

dreams, I no longer need them.

 

I often question my existence,

forever, it seems, searching for verve;

settling for second best,

is not what I deserve.

 

I try to think of a reason to smile,

but I find my face; it hurts a little.

All resolve to fight is weak,

my bones, too tired and brittle.

 

I sway on top of the tallest tower,

looking at the ground below;

everything looks so minuscule,

I move, but never let go.

 

My mind says jump, do it girl,

it’s easier than getting out of bed.

All that should be precious to me,

have become the things I dread.

 

However, that was some time ago,

I’m glad to say I’ve survived.

All the anarchy has dissipated.

It's Gods will that I'm still alive.

 

I write this poem to my friends,

and to all who are in mayhem.

This dedication is to my Neopoet liberators.

My renaissance is due to them.

 

— xena465, Feb 18, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Critiques

Mark

Mark

16 years 3 months ago

This is awesome !

I know where you were, and what a tribute ! TAP ! Mark "Do not ask me about poetry, I am just a poet"
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I just wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to say thanks to all my friends that have helped me overcome a battle that I've been fighting for some time. Thank you. Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Just wanted to thank

Just wanted to thank everyone who's supported me while being part of NeoPoet. Thanks so much. Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Judy. Stick with

Thanks Judy. Stick with Neopoet friends and you'll understand why I wanted to say thank you. Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Ahhh Rosina … I thought

Ahhh Rosina ... I thought this is one of your best your writing some wonderful rhyme lately you are making me miss it lol brilliant job huni love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

All my achievements are a

All my achievements are a result of my friends helping me to bring back the real Rosina. Rosina xena465
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 3 months ago

love it Rosina

Honest, open and true Reflection of you I am so proud of you Seabhac
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

The pride is with you and

The pride is with you and all that you gave to me when I wanted to learn. This you did for me, so I'm proud of you. Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks so much. What’s

Thanks so much. What's that little boy doing in the photo with a knife that looks like he's about to electrocute himself? Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Btw I forgot to say

Btw I forgot to say congrates on the spotlight ~~! well done huni love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’m so proud to be on the

I'm so proud to be on the spotlight, so much so, that I'm crying, Thank you so much Jayne. Rosina xena465
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

You have to make more, we just LOVE your poetry.

Ann of Norway Strangely enough as I read this there was a piped Scottish rhythm on the TV, on the other side of it from where I sit, and it made the whole light-hearted and yet it is not, but I am glad you went on along the top of the building of despair and didn't jump, only ever jump in your thoughts and then usually for joy and that's what we do when we reach the end of this and dance with you and your lovely rhythm. Dear Rosina, you have to make more, we just LOVE your poetry. Ann from Scotland (1/2 anyways)
washing tears

washing tears

16 years 3 months ago

great write!

Liked your poem a lot! especially the ending! we are all liberators of our own soul -with what love could be- WT
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’ve been down that road

I've been down that road so many times and a lot of the poems I read I can relate to, so I thought it would be nice to tell everyone who has given up, not to, because we are all friends here on NeoPoet and are glad to listen and help. Thank you so much WT. Rosina xena465
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

16 years 3 months ago

Terrific,

Well done ma wee Scot's lassie, it's a stoater, crackin whit mear cun a sae. Well deserved, Regards Roscoe....
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’m oh so proud to be

I'm oh so proud to be complimented by a fellow scot. Yeh canny wack it! Ta much my wee pal. Rosina xena465
J

J.Thomas

16 years 3 months ago

I love this. how thoughtful

I love this. how thoughtful of you to dedicate this to all on neopoet! As im sure there are many forever in some type of existential crisis.
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’ve had so much help from

I've had so much help from people in my short time here that I believe that NeoPoet friends deserve to be thanked. Roisina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for your comments

Thanks for your comments I'll look again at the poem later Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

The poem is about being

The poem is about being liberated from anarchy. Before joining Neopoet I used to get up every morning with nothing ahead of me, because of my depression, but a long day that I wanted it to be night again so I could go back to bed. Now I spend a lot of hours on Neopoet enjoying helping and being helped, making friends. Thats where the liberation comes from. My days have meaning now. Can you understand the poem a little more now? And thanks for the punctuation correction, not my strong point, but I'm learning every day. I think I've fixed it, thanks to you. I'm just going to re-post the edit now. Thanks again Monalisa xena465
VX

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

Venus**Xena** What a

Venus **Xena** What a beautiful sentiment to all those you feel helped you along your path. I cannot add anything more then everyone else has already said..... Outstanding Pen!!! Depression is a very real condition. It is a constant struggle to get through each day, but you have managed a great feat. The past is just that, the past, there is no tomorrow, only today, take each day one at a time.....Live in the "NOW" Stay in the moment, that's all that's guaranteed. Love and Hugs, Venus xxxx
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you so much for lovely

Thank you so much for lovely commets...Love and Hugs to you too. Rosina xena465
NR

neha raju

16 years 3 months ago

very nice

very nice poem n u sure have expressed it very nicely.................you the kind of person that inspires poets to write rosina..............very impressive. neha xxxxx
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

That is my wish. I want

That is my wish. I want people to know that they've helped me more than they'll ever know and that if they feel like I did, then I wish for them to try to better their views on themselves. Thanks for lovely comments. Rosina xena465
O

Orphani

16 years 3 months ago

You are a poet among your

You are a poet among your family and friends. How far you have come and we are all glad you are here to share your fine art with us. Congratulations on spot. You deserve it. Hugs and joy. B
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Than you orphani. I’m so

Than you orphani. I'm so happy today being on the spotlight. I just wanted Neopoet and friends to get the praise they deserve. Rosina xena465
ifoundaplace

ifoundaplace

16 years 3 months ago

Wow Xena

This is beautiful. I Loved it. Touched my heart. Dani (:
ifoundaplace

ifoundaplace

16 years 3 months ago

Wow Xena

This is beautiful. I Loved it. Touched my heart. Dani (:
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Like I’ve said, and mean,

Like I've said, and mean, you all deserve the praise for all the help that we give each other. Thanks Dani for lovely comment. Rosina xena465
M

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Grazzi

Not enough words to describe how I felt when I read this one Xena. Just brilliant as always and I thank you. Love Mona x0x0x0 "Determination Brings Success"
D

Dustyverse

16 years 3 months ago

wow GIRL!!

WELL-WORTH THE SEARCH!! Kinda makes me wish I'd tumbled into NEO a bit sooner! Wonderfully written piece...I didn't know you before you fought and won your way back, but I'm extremely glad to know you now!!! Congratulations on what must have been a hard-won battle! and WELCOME BACK!! Don't go away again, either....we need you!!! Love D
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you so much and

Thank you so much and don't you go away either. Rosina xena465
Mark

Mark

16 years 3 months ago

Speachless

I say I am speachless.. Mark "I do not walk the earth and eat out of dumpsters, I'm not a bum, I'm beat."
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks so much…you don’t

Thanks so much...you don't have to say anything...just glad to hear from you. Rosina xena465
M

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LOVELY XENA HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY TO YOU AND MANY LOVING MORE To my baby aquarian this is your older sister aquarian two days (lol) wishing you a beautiful day in every way and I am sending you the cookies, hurry up catch them falling from the sky with your name on them.Look up and see they have your name on them. Oh by the way there are 53 of them :) Happy Birthday to you my lovely friend indeed. Have a beautiful day!! xoxoxo Love, Magics Mystical Mona "Determination Brings Success"
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Oh wow! What a birthday gift

Oh wow! What a birthday gift and greeting...I can't thank you enough...that's so so kind and thoughtful...you've made me cry...into my wee glass of cider celebration. love to you Rosina xxx xena465
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Is it your BIRTHDAY dear Rosina?

Ann of Norway Then I wish you well and happy and joyful and pleased and full of a creative urge to write more poetry that we all love here. Rosina is my friend and to her I send my greetings for ever for joy in her heart, she's my friend and our friend, and takes part as your friend and hoping we'll be good friends and never will part. Love from Ann.
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Dear lovely Ann of

Dear lovely Ann of Norway...you are my best friend...you've made my day. I'm emotional and crying at all the birthday greetings that I've received. This is the best birthday I've had in many years...even though it's only me and my wee Zak...I feel like all my friends are here and we're haveing a great party...bottoms up...I don't mean that my bottoms up of course...just the bottom of my wee glass of cider. Love to you too Ann xxx Rosina xena465
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Your wee glass of cider!!! Tut tut!

Ann of Norway Och that's a wee but strong fer the likes o' you me girrl! In Devonshire we sped along the country lanes, one car wide, all the locals went fast along these tunnels, the banks covered in primroses the hedge on top towards the sky, visible only by bending down in the car, the sudden glimpses of the fields only where the great wooden gates stood at intervals. Then we arrived at an ancient farmhouse, mentioned in the Doomsday book. Here we were greeted by the enormous she oak and the equally enormous he oak trees, the two standing like two sculpted statues guarding an Egyptian tomb; then we met the farmer and his wife, they led us into the barn cellar and we stepped over the barrel rungs of stone onto the mud-floored darkness of the vault-shaped room, where there lay rows of gigantic barrels of cider. Some were those that once had had sherry or Brandy in them, now used for the juice of the Devonian apple crushed in the room above and poured down to this floor at the appropriate season. We were handed a glass and tried this one and that one and oh that one too and thinking oh its only cider, BUT wow it wasn't, we had to wait a while before daring to drive back down the Devon lanes home again! So we went into the farmhouse and saw the huge table that had been one of those oaks outside and MUST have been made before the house was built round it, because of its size, a several metre long polished old oak table that filled the length of the whole room, it told of secrets by its very existence, secrets we shall never decipher; ah that was an experience worth a lot to me. But I haven't finished my birthday story to you dear Rosina, the cider was filled up in the two lugged bottles holding a gallon and cost 4 shillings, that was in 1964 or so, and what wine it was for our dinner guests, beautifully natural, not sweet, and wonderfully intoxicating. So skål Rosina to you in Devon ciderrrrr they rrroll the rrrr's therrre too. Love from Ann.
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Wonderful story. You sure

Wonderful story. You sure had a good time with the cider...I'm guessing it was a lot more alcohol proof than the one I'm drinking...oh by the way...I've now had a few wee tipples more since we last talked...won't be long now until I'm in `Cloud Cookoo Land`...but not the `Land of Nod` just yet. Rosina xena465
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Ann of NorwayOne more liitel

Ann of Norway One more liitel bit for your birthday Rosina, if you can still read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sister was approched by two workers in Scotland who asked her for a wee dram, she said how much was that, having to steal it from her host the hotel, they answered och a bottle! My mother in hospital near Glasgow was asked if she would like a wee drinkie, and my mother said "Yes a Martini please" the nurse giggled! Luv ann
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I can imagine the nurse

I can imagine the nurse giggle because we scots tend to dabble a little too much on a tipple or two. Still sober, but there's time yet to over-indulge. My wee Zak's not appeared for a few hours so I'll have to search to make sure he's not got himself stuck somewhere, unless he's leaving me to enjoy my birthday...sparing me from the usual attention he likes. Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’m still crying but with

I'm still crying but with happiness at all my friends greeting me like this. Thank you so very much for my birthday greeting...I'm so touched and blessed with nice friends on Neopeot. Love to you too. xxx xena465
VX

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

Happy Birthday Rosina

Happy Birthday *******Rosina********* ****BIG SMILE**** How funny!! I't my birthday today as well :-) Have a beautiful and blessed day. Love and Hugs, Venus xxxx
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

So I guess it’s a double

So I guess it's a double celebration...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO VENUS...I bet you're not as old as me? Thank you, thank you. I'll have an extra wee drink today to toast you on your BIRTHDAY... Love to you too... xxx xena465
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Well you wrote us a precious

Well you wrote us a precious gift Rosina. And on your Birthday! I didn't know, but now I do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Neo is lucky to have to you. You are a great contribution and a precious light in the dark Rosina. Like your screen name Xena you do have superhuman qualitys of kindness compassion and a amazing flare for writing. So enjoyable! Julie D.D.
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Awe shucks…you made me

Awe shucks...you made me blush. Thank you for your wonderful words to me. You have helped me from the very beginning of my time with Neopoet and I've never forgotten that...just like I've always noticed in your comments to people, that you are a good kind person. I'm crying again...need another wee glass of cider now...any excuse. Love to you too Julie xxx xena465
VX

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

A Double Indeed **Grin**

A Double Indeed **Grin** Don't bet I'm not as old or older then you, I'm considered an Elder by the tribe.....LOL Have a wonderful day sweetheart! I wish you all life's happiness. Hugs, Venus xxxx
Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 3 months ago

you're not alone

after the end of a relationship i took a packet of Mogadon and was in a coma for three days, really a cry for help, but so silly, I look back and thank god I survived, since the dark space obscured how much I had to live for. life is a precious gift, and often the best suffer the most because they see more, feel more, but personally I believe in the spirit's immortality and that suffering leads to liberation and that suicide is in fact not a way out at all but rather a way further down when if you just hang in there, life will get better. Poetry is a great way to connect and channel your feelings, like singing the blues, it is a legitimate forum to express your unhappiness (and your happiness too of course), so keep at it, you will get better and better, and each new poem will bring you great satisfaction and also help give structure and meaning to your life. As for this poem, some of the lines lose the rhythm, either too many or too few syllabuls, this type of poem is really hard to write, if you look at Shelley eg 'Hail to thee blythe spirit', you'll see how strictly he keeps to the metre, unfortunately this discipline often means the poem is a slave to the rhyme/metre scheme and is not actually saying very much this is why most modern poets write in free verse, it gives them the freedom to concentrate on imagery, expression, meaning. Still writing in a strict rhyme/metre scheme produces great poetry, Bob Dylan is one modern master, as is Leonard Cohen. Reciting your poem out loud, and repeating it again and again is one method i use to get it right. i learnt this from Dylan thomas, who according to his wife in her book said he would rewrite his poems up to 70 times! frank Sinatra would do the same with his singing. Rehearse and rehearse. hope this helps and many happy returns love Ross
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’m saddened to hear what

I'm saddened to hear what you had to go thorough...I understand everything you have written to me...thanks so much...as for syllabuls/metre and such things you mention I don't understand much about this. I've had a menial education and taught...most of what I know...myself how to write without the proper understanding of the English language. I'll try to see what you mean by the poem and correct it...thanks for helping me and your lovely letter...it helps a lot to know that there are people who truly understand. Thanks again Rosina xena465
the_fool

the_fool

16 years 3 months ago

why, thank you

really hope you thought of me a little in that last stanza. this has to be the best i've seen from you so far (i haven't read too much), this was na great read. very visual and very personal, i liked the getting out of bed part. keep these coming t_f
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

You bet the last stanza is

You bet the last stanza is with thoughts of you too...and thank you so much for your lovely comments. Rosina xena465
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you so very much…I

Thank you so very much...I mean everything the poem represents...I'm touched too that you like it and responded with kindness. Rosina xena465
S

Saiko-Johnny

16 years 3 months ago

Loved it!

Very special and inspiring this one Xena! Well done. Cheers, John.
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I’ve had a few years of

I've had a few years of lying at the bottom of the hill, but since I joined Neopoet in January I'm slowly finding my true self again, thanks to the many friends I've met here on Neo. Thank you again again John for taking time to read my poems. Rosina xena465
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

What is an anarchist?

One who accepts the responsibility of choice Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman
xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

Anarchy

Before I joined Neopoet I was lost. I've always written down my feelings but for years I couldn't do it. That's why I wrote this poem to the site to show how much it changed my life, and brought words back into my life. I still feel the same way, perhaps even more so now about how Neo help me. There has still been rocky days, but I managed to get through them and come back to myself with the help of my friends on Neopoet. And yes, I did choose to fight my inner demons and won the war. Thanks for your comment Jess. Rosina xena465