Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

sunscreen
sunscreen
Feb 01, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Words never spoken for the one I love

She speaks ignorance, and spits hate
She takes the damaging words and sharpens them
She places them in unaccustomed positions

Telling someone they're worthless like its easy
Treating you like you're shit, as if you're sleazy
Putting forth the things that hurt you most.

Darkness surroundingCornered into submissionDaggers, dodging, draining
Burning and scorning she destroys your emotions

The ability to throw out all your faults
The way she looks, as she screams
Her venom strikes down into your soul

Making you cry tears of blood
She tells you that shit is all you'll ever be
Damage is her intent
Killing you slowly on the inside.

To think her title is "Mother"
— sunscreen, Feb 01, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Critiques

B

bjp

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Alex,

This poem works very well. I gives the impression of being a kind of anti-love poem and, I suppose, it both is and is not. Turning at the end to "Mother," is a great way to surprise. Poems need the capacity for universal appeal to be effective. Describing the method of fighting, for which most have either been on the giving or receiving end, anchors this poem in the universal. Good work! Brian
L

Lunegirl

16 years 4 months ago

This is a gritty and emotion

This is a gritty and emotion provoking piece, I did wonder if it would be about a mother or a girl. Its well written with a good smattering of alliteration. Luckily, not all females are so damaging as the character in this piece. vicki
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you

To answer the question, its about how my girlfriends mother treats her. Shes need a good kick in the face.
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Even int the best of Mother,

Even int the best of Mother, intentions fall short. This one may need a kick in the arse, but she needs to be questioned why she does the things she says and does. Sometimes we are so filled we don't know how to bring these paramount issues of relationships to a dead halt by asking: what made you so mean, cruel, unloving at times? You might get shit, but you get it anyway. Sad but true poem. ~A
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 4 months ago

Agreed

The only issue is that were I to put her in a situation of questioning, I fear that I would loose all ties to my loved one....Shes very vindictive, and jealous, jealous of what I don't know, but her mother has a lot of things that need to happen, even my mother wants a piece of her, but I have to hold the peace until high school is over then as far as I'm concerned, everything I've been holding back I'll let out, and leave with a big fuck you.
xena465

xena465

16 years 4 months ago

That'll tell her...

It's hard to stand back and watch someone you love being belittled. I admire your ability to hold back. Shows strength and true respect for your girlfriend. To tackle her mother, like you say, could ruin a good thing. Perhaps this is her mothers intention? Don't let her win. Great poem xena465
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 4 months ago

Why thank you :)

Thanks for the buddy add, I'll return the favor, and thank you for the advice, and comment.
AA

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 3 months ago

A grudge between your loving mother and your sweet honey

A grudge between your loving mother and your sweet honey,hard to point who is either wrong or right.Any side taken is likely to incur the displeasure of the other but hard to look on uncorncern.Thanks for seeing seeing and exploring a burning issue which has escape the minds of most poets.I think your buldging eye did the magic
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you sir :)

It all worked its self out I guess, but it was the journey that made the difference.
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

Although I’m sure I was

Although I'm sure I was evolved before this, thank you for the encouragement. From a respected poet like yourself it means a lot to me :)
A

Amethyst

16 years 3 months ago

eerie

I love this poem...and I know a mother just like that....my heart bleeds for the children; their father, my friend, will survive this, but what to do with the children? Flood them with love and support, even from afar, (I have been banned), love never never fails. Happy people are patient people. Peace Amethyst
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

Its sad :(

People like this are allowed to have children, but all we can do is hope for karma to take toll, and be the supporter of the damaged, lost, or lonely in the meantime.
L

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

I came back for another

I came back for another read, and i am so glad this is not your mother, that was my secret worry at first read. so it is someones though. your poem is so powerful. give that to her and nothing else, send it in the post so she knows not whence it came from. lightening outta the blue. other than that social services anomonasly. what ever happens good luck. Optimism in adversity nutures positive outcomes
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

Good advice

Unfortunately, it would do no good for one, American postal services require return address, and The DCFS is not into dealing with poor parenting....
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

I’ve never written a

I've never written a fictional piece of poetry, now that I think of it I should try something new!
tbeaudet

tbeaudet

16 years 3 months ago

Powerful write

and the surprise ending, tragic. Hopefully things will get better, or you and your girlfriend become better abled to ignore the ignorance. I must ask you where the title came from though? Thanks for sharing, Tom
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 3 months ago

The title came to me

The title came to me because, she would never talk back to her mother, she only accepts what she says and cries tears of pain..
the_fool

the_fool

16 years 3 months ago

great angst

i feel the emotion and the drive and the impotence to change anything. good read.