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Breakinglogic
Breakinglogic
Jan 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The mess you made

 You love me, you hate meYou want me, you break meI've fallen, you're sorryYour words are emptyIt was my heartI fixed itYou have no rightTo say shitAnd this timesThe last timeJust know it'sMy last try I'm feeling slowHelp me to growAndI'm feeling downTurn me aroundHelp me, help me I've patched me upBe careful with meI'm sorry,No more paper macheHeartsYou've worn me out You wear meOn your sleeveAnd I bleed so easyIm just a stainBut you canStill have me
— Breakinglogic, Jan 12, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: California, USA

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Critiques

M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I would like to hear from you and wondered what happend to you My sonic friend Love mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
B

blistered-pen

16 years 2 months ago

That first half is SO

That first half is SO Eminem, I could almost hear him spitting it at me. I feel like it got weaker toward the end (although I love the last stanza), I think it's the 2nd and 3rd stanzas that leave me feeling kind of "dude". I just don't think they have the same "YOU HURT ME" as the 1st and last, they're more "*sniff* yeah, you hurt me". No offense meant (and hopefully none taken). JRS
Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

16 years 2 months ago

Hey blistered-pen, thanks

Hey blistered-pen, thanks for the thoughtful comment. You are right the middle is a change in mood, a lot slower and a bit weaker. I was writing parrallel to a song I had been listening to, so the mood pattern rubbed off. The first stanza was supposed to be angry, the second was more pityful/despair, the third and forth a truce. Anyways, thank you for the honest review :) peace and cheers, logic