The Lamp Post

Once upon a time I had a discussion with a lamp post.  A variety of difficulties, he faced. Some of those were dogs urinating on him, drunks leaning against him breathing a heavily intoxicating breath all over him sending shivers down his grain.  Bumper bars ramming into him dinting his tough but delicate surface.  One time a semi-trailer ran into him and broke his back causing the city council to remove his leafless soul into another lamp post.  I felt sorry for this lamp post as he told me stories of floods, cyclones and those horrid electrical storms as he has lost many a body.  I wouldn't dare disagree with a lamp post as he might cut off my electricity.  He knew my ways of wandering into and down to the depths of continuous roads to bottomless lakes.  As I wandered, the eyes of his fellow lamp posts would watch me closely.  I felt a sense of security many a time as I wandered past my wooden friends.  A sense that I wasn't alone going down a dark street in the middle of the night.  They don't drink or eat, they live solely on the human voice which drowns into their bodies giving them a sense of well being and a throbbing heart.  When no-one was around, sometimes I would slowly put my arms around him to kiss his grey skin, rub my cheeks and body against him sending shivers down my spine as well as his.  The wooden surroundings would get horribly jealous, but I'd take no notice.  They couldn't speak and tell the world of my affair with a lamp post so I had nothing to worry about, maybe if a human caught me.  I led a rather boring life like my lamp post watching the everyday life fly past me.  Although many fascinating things went by.  He could not protect me from the rain or rescue me from the clutches of would-be snatches.  The lamp post, no name, a serial number, christened by the council.  Poor lamp post.

Synopsis

Once upon a time no one would talk to me, so I sat in front of lamp posts and talked to them mainly because they never told me to shut up like everyone else always did.  The lamp post had, had a rough life such as the woe begotten troubles I had seen.  Dogs always pissed on me too.  One day I got bored so I rubbed myself up and down the lamp post hoping to evoke a sexual response. It didn't, but I had a good time.  Everyone stared at me when I left.