Petals from a stranger

I feel the hits rolling in, toxic drums are beating. I speak softly of my secrets, to faces slowly fleeting. And it seems to me that they agree, I’m not quite fit for another hit– but… If only they could feel what I feel is happening. ---take out the can The lights encave me, my world is on a violin. The humming, vibrations, irresistible temptations– and I can tell… That this is more than ethanol, The stranger who sat beside me, nevermind, I can’t recall. Theres something that he showed me. he said it was a guarantee– oh… My head feels like a carousel And everything is metal. Where did my new friend go? He’s left me with rose petals. They smell so sweet what a treat maybe a bit too sticky… --- I wanted to do this earlier but I thought I would wait till stream Love this write ... I broke it down how I would read out loud ... so you can break or shape in anyway you choose these are justtt suggestions lol nice work as I said before ' Love and hugs Jayne P.S Format and that odd can was all I could see wrong ill be giving your stars in advance ;) Edit......LMAO and then you edit while I am sheshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahaha that just cracked me up

Hi BL, thought I'd drop in after a brief connection on chat today... There are some great lines & images here, it's a good read. I don't have a clear view what you were trying to say, but that doesn't have to be important as long as you are happy with it. Keep em coming then. Cheers Anni~ "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet. H.H. the Dalai Lama

This write was really good. It gave me a feeling of vertigo as I read it. Title was spot on. It makes me think that your new friend had given you some shine, or something!

Excellent writing here. Your title is what drew me in and this is good. As the title is the first thing your reader sees I did enjoy reading this Chrys

Hi BL, this snippet of your poem landed in my email inbox & I loved it all over again... I feel the hits rolling in, toxic drums are beating. I speak softly of my secrets, to faces slowly fleeting. And it seems to me that they agree, I’m not quite fit for another hit I love it as it appeared, reading the rest changed the initial sense, but it is no less a good poem... I confess, the first section stands so beautifully on it's own, that's how I love to read it... the rest stands well on it's own as well... but remember it is just my opinion. I can read several possibilities between the lines & I think that's always a clever perception to offer a reader, so bravo for that too. Hope 2010 is going beautifully for you Cheers Anni~ "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet.