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BLACK WIDOW-revised a bit

BLACK WIDOW[ Jacksonville, Florida 1945] Waves of black silk
Floating in a Summer breeze
Grace in slow motion
Icy steel
Swaying ecstasy
Across the grass
Shalimar lingering in the air
As you pass.
Wide brimmed widow’s hat
Pulled down to your eyes
Shining raven’s black.
Diamond fingers
Sparkling rainbows in the sun An intrusive ocean wind
Boldly  unveils dark ruby lips
That smile
At whisperings and lies. 
I understood
What they all told
Take care
The Black Widows kiss
Icy cold.
I knew who you were
My sweet Geraldine
The passion of many men
But
A friend
To  a lonely boy
 Of three
— Geremia, Dec 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Joe

This is just beautiful Joe ... 1945 was a big year wasnt it ... my grandparents used to talk about the end of the war etc my grandfather fought in the south pacific and Japan when the war ended he came home in 1946 ... sorry just rambled lol dont know why I thought of that ... beautifully done as usual my friend ... I loved this glimpse into your childhood and how beautiful for you to remember her in this memory poem love and hugs your Jayne-Chloe x x
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 6 months ago

Black Widow...

I really like the memory of that three year old boy, you have given it to us so succinctly, I do think that the use of the rhyming words make it a little ragged at the end though. Very nice work otherwise! ~ Gee
Geremia

Geremia

16 years 6 months ago

J.B. Longo-GeremiaYes. You

J.B. Longo-Geremia Yes. You were so right. I did in fact j ust now eliminate the rhyme at the end. It did not ring true. Ths was a mighty fine crtique, m y friend. Joe
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Beautiful image you have

Beautiful image you have portrayed Joe. This is fine poetry from the memory of a boy of three. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Geremia

Geremia

16 years 6 months ago

J.B. Longo-GeremiaThank you,

J.B. Longo-Geremia Thank you, Anna. Sometimes I feel I am still that little boy--I guess we men really never grow up. Love from Joe
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Glad you took Sir Gee’s

Glad you took Sir Gee's advice. Upon rereading the poem, there seems to be a adjective missing from the 2nd last line describing... I'm not sure which one... perhaps *kind* or __________ (a word that means something special to you, Joe. "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Geremia

Geremia

16 years 6 months ago

J.B. Longo-GeremiaI don’t

J.B. Longo-Geremia I don't see it,Anna. But it may have been the lineI eliminated. I did make some slight changes but am having trouble with spacing/
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 6 months ago

I wanna give...

You that other star. You made it even better than I had hoped! Really nice. And it isn't any wonder that Peter Pan is male! ~ Gee
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 6 months ago

So busy writing to you!!

Didn't notice this spotlight, you send things so fast and if one turns ones head they have passed and hidden; but I gave you an answer for this earlier didn't I? A child does not judge on appearances, and nor should we! Well done as aye. Got to go, bother. Love Annuccia
Geremia

Geremia

16 years 6 months ago

J.B. Longo-GeremiaI thnk it

J.B. Longo-Geremia I thnk it was on SPOTLIGHT for a short time. I don't remember. I am gettng confused too! :) Longobardolino