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A Battle To Remember


 As a new sun rises

 Old memories crowd

 A wandering mind

 Tears fall like rain drops

  As a victory is yearned

  From an inner enemy

 

   He has many names

    Call him depression

    Or even Mr. Anxiety

    How he creeps up

    In the quietest of nights

    No law can protect you

    From his unending reign

    Sweat crowds your palms

    As they shake uncontrollably

    Your heart races as you try

     To defeat a strong negativity

 

       Hope becomes a broken glass

       There has to be a better way

        Oh this will not be accepted

        Smiles will be worn in public       

        Even if the pain is unbearable         

        Slave to this unleashed demon     

        For how long can one be?

        One must be stronger than the

        Devil who taunts relentlessly

 

        No longer shall one be titled a fool

       That lays at the mercy of another

       If he wants an unchallenged fight

       Well it will be a battle to remember


— paul, Jun 21, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi, Sylvia Plath and Neopoet as a whole.

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Critiques

S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

16 years 11 months ago

Well placed words

Paul. I would say the poem to itself is ok. Yet I like the phrase unchallenged fight as that is a win or at least a try to understand a soldiers mind. You see to react to a frame of life is just that a battle. Will you win only a twix to the mix my friend. Steven A. Kacer
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 11 months ago

Hey Paul, Another great

Hey Paul, Another great poem. Love the image of hope as a broken glass, that could be a poem in itself. Awesome stuff. And your ending rocks. Great job. Peace love n hugs Katie
Rett

Rett

16 years 11 months ago

Ah now Paul

Be darned if you don't seem like me. Like Katie I like hope depicted as a broken glass and I like the fight to remember. If I lose it will be fighting scratching and clawing to the bitter end! Good one. Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 11 months ago

Terrific poem paul, possibly your best ever.

Great theme, well expressed, really related. Well written, the flow is excellent and highly readable. Some great imagery as others have mentioned. Love that slightly wavy left aligment too. Not over the top but has an aptly disturbing effect. Only two tiny things I would question. "One must be stronger than the" In context I question the use of stronger. It is in recognising that depression and anxiety sufferers have a real illness and need help that stops us being labelled weak or fools. And I think "the" should start the next line. "That lays at the mercy of another" lies or lay Said they were tiny. Loved it. Cheers, Jess
O

orgami

16 years 11 months ago

poem brought me back to High School

i think because everything gets magnified there school part was okay i passed got grade twelve but social interaction at that speed volume mass set all the anxiety panic attacks and depression super wide screen Like sitting in the modern movie theater blasted with visual and sound cant do it anymore IN high school I would spend half a day in the washroom heartbeat racing couldnt go down the hall and try to smile and keep up with people testing each other at that age the worse was seeing just ordinary people going through dating and hanging out and hung over and social cliche fighting and I didnt have time to do anything just trying to stay above water stay from not killing myself at home wow very powerful peice here Paul it rang true to me this authenticity you mix The others have said it for me here I have just put my long comment too Way to go!!
W

weirdelf-test

16 years 8 months ago

oh honey! you asked for it.

the poem is beautiful and powerful, but to my perhaps prosaic mind, too artfully poetic. Have you read Ginsberg? Bukowsky? Try talking to your reader as your lover. Not while making love but when sharing with them what you really feel. kind regards, Jean, meow, yip, purr, yowl and perfect body language of approval, contempt or demand