Personification (from chat night!)

Budding fields carry meThrough the aging dayAs I watch clouds raceAnd play charades throughThe silent skiesMy friendAn old rock listensTo the singing breezesCoughing occasionallyThrough the grasping branchesOf a patient old willowAnd the falling sunPaints those silent skiesRed and orangeAs it holds onto my eyelidsAnd passes throughThe sitting horizonAnd brings me toPeaceful sleep

— Breakinglogic, May 20, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: California, USA

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years 2 months ago

BL

Still love these lines: "As it holds onto my eyelids And passes through The sitting horizon And brings me to Peaceful sleep" - way cool, and so descriptively beautiful. ---------------------------------------------- "Until that ‘morrow render unto me That which is mine my stipend well deserved The fairest flower of your progeny Your sons, your daughters your hopes and your dreams The cruel consequence of your conceit" - Steve Earle

Breakinglogic

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Jess! That was a good

Thanks Jess! That was a good chat, though I missed most of it :)

weirdelf

17 years 2 months ago

A lovely poem BL

would sit fine in a body of work. Yet somehow it lacks a certain oomph for me. Perhaps I should OD on Tarantino and come back to it to appreciate it better, cheers, Jess Forever unwrapping the eternal present.

Breakinglogic

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks weirdelf for reading

Thanks weirdelf for reading and commenting :) As for OD'ing, ummm I guess if its only on Tarantino :P Thanks again, Peace

sha_onarainyday

17 years 2 months ago

I really like this

I really like this line: "To the singing breezes Coughing occasionally Through the grasping branches" Good use of personification. the forest seems to come alive. this reminds me of a good camping trip. -sha

Breakinglogic

17 years 2 months ago

Hey there, thanks sha! I

Hey there, thanks sha! I think those were my favorite lines too :) Thanks for taking the time to comment! Peace

Tonya Greenlee

17 years 2 months ago

Some great descriptive

lines Logic! You make me proud of our personification session. I love the clouds racing and playing charades, The old rock listening to the breezes, coughing occasionally through branches.. sky holding your eyelids!!! Terrific lines! Yes Jess….go OD on Tarantino! lol hugs, you relentless taskmaster! Great job. Always, Tonya

Breakinglogic

17 years 2 months ago

Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for commenting Tonya! That was a great chat you ran :) Peace

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