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S
sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
May 07, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Eyes Of Black

                                                                                              A killing machine                                                                                            the soldiers dream                                                                                            simple yet extreme                                                                                         Living life without regret                                                                                           No reasom to reflect                                                                                                     Respect                                                                                                    Complex                                                                                                     Diversity                                                                                         One then two now three                                                                                       Killing with eyes of greed                                                                              Holding unthinkable use of speed

                                                                                                 The bow drops                                                                                                   Void of props

                                                                                                   Finding cover                                                                                                         My lady                                                                                                        The sea
                                                                                             My soul will always be                                                                                             As you have taken me                                                                                                I can see the trees                                                                                                    Just time spent                                                                                                   Perhaps to rent                                                                                                  A locker my friend.
— sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, May 07, 2009

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

L

Lonnie

17 years 1 month ago

Bold and Powerful, Steve!

A forceful poem of remembered skills and unforgotten conquests! Your words and imagery create a well-rounded piece with serious undertones!
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 1 month ago

Your picture

Lonnie. I must say that each time you place quill to me. The picture of your face places a rest to my gray. I guess as you are to hold a clue to a souldiers mind. Here is what I see in the picture. A man that is kind yet takes no frigen crap from anyone. A person that has love in his soul yet if needed will kill. A soldier I see that will do what he is needed to do and why don't they understand he askes himself. So thanks for the time you spend with me as I sleep well After just a glimce of your gray. Steven A. Kacer
Rett

Rett

17 years 1 month ago

I agree with Lonnie Steven

Quite powerful, well rounded. A bit of trouble understanding some parts, but all it all, very good. Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905
Rett

Rett

17 years ago

Steven, gathering from the title

I would say it is either about a shark or an evil person. Not sure. Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years ago

Re. Your first choice

Rett. I know my poetry is a different road. Just my life that playes out in words. So I say this you my well rounded friend are correct. It is of a shark not a twisted mind yet I beg to differ that point. Thanks for the time spent as many things have played to my gray that most will never see. Yet only a flower just over twohundred miles out a drift yet so full like it had been placed to the middle of the blue green. Funny as most had no clue they never saw it. I will go and play in the lady the sea agian and if she is to take me then I was wrong to trust her. Steven A. Kacer
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 1 month ago

Steven

I would like to comment on the general rhythm of the write, at it kind loses its natural beat - however, at this moment I can't think of a good way of restructuring it without losing the potency of the write. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "Atheism is a non-prophet organization" - George Carlin -"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things" - George Carlin
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years ago

Re.

Dwarf. I understand many things that life has placed to my plate. Yet the mind of a poet well what the heck it is the words of a person. So just take a second or two and relaxe then read my words agian as I think as a picture to keep just a walk in a park that was dark friend. Have a fine day come the morrow of life and well what the heck my friend blow up the box I will show you how. Excuse me as I bite my toung. I should not have said that yet as we speak I hold a fuse in my hand. Steven A. Kacer
C

colourfulmary

17 years ago

may not be irrelevant but

I just wanted to say that you remind me my native american friend who lives in Salt Lake. He is a good person. Sometime I wish he has good night sleep. And hope you do too. That's what I felt after reading your work. Very best,
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years ago

RE,

Mary, To you I say thanks for a smile and a thought. To your friend I shed a tear and hope he is to sleep well. Yet now I offer just me a man named Steven. So as I look to the picture you have placed I say watch for the bird the squid and the sky. I see all three in your eye. Strange as I look to it quick as a mirror to reflect the picture hidden just to the left. Good luck with life and if find a clue as to how to unwind it please be free to explain it to me. To those that look. I say relaxe and remember what it took to write as I. Steven A. Kacer
C

colourfulmary

17 years ago

RE:RE:

Steven, Thank you for the advice. You are the second person told me to relax recently. Steven is a good name. Wish I could offer my real name to you but I need to keep reminding me what I lost. I am going to change my pic. Not because I didn't like what you sow in my eye. It doesn't surprise me you find creatures and sky there. That's part of me, well, use to be. Once upon a time I was a child dance on top of a building. Eye of cyclone. Lived in vivid world. I thought I had a clue. Today, though doesn't come to me easily. I spend days in numbness. ( mind you, squids are a good remedy for that. I get heart thrilled looking at how they swim, communicate each other ) Sorry for this 'me me' nonsense in your space. I precious my crap even it's no good for others as I don't get it so often. Take good care of yourself,
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

16 years 12 months ago

The Dance

Mary, I say at first glance that you hold a fine gray. And thanks for the words placed on a machine. Not like most and you are just that you my friend. So with a flower in my hand a gun in my belt and a full belly I will take on the day offered to me. If you would like to know of what I see in the picture you placed just ask as I will tell. If not then the reason I did not speak of it is simple as I will keep it for myself. Only time will tell of dreams unseen. Steven A. Kacer