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S
sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Apr 08, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

MARINE


                                                                                                 I hold the ground in front of me,
                                                                                                  through darkness I cannot see.

                                                                                                   The mud seeps into my boots,
                                                                                                     thanks God for the roots that               
                                                                                                                 hold my feet.

                                                                                                       Decisions made not my own.
                                                                                                         decisions made set in stone.

                                                                                                        Bones snap beneath my feet,
                                                                                                           The smell of death has now 
                                                                                                                         turned sweet.

                                                                                                                If I kill then will I die?
                                                                                                             And if I die  will I kill. agian.

                                                                                                           Never to set eyes on my land,
                                                                                                               A marine will always stand.
— sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, Apr 08, 2009

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 3 months ago

Steven

My only correction is the double 'then then' in the third to last line. Good write about the day to day occurences of a Marine. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Will there be another race to come along and take over for us? Maybe martians could do better than we've done We'll make great pets!" - Perry Farell (Porno for Pyros)
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 3 months ago

A square peg placed to a round hole

A poetic gesture. Do me a favovor and look to the cats eyes as it will never speak. Yet a clue to what is arround you it by chance will bleed, So if you hold a clue to the place that you call home. Then realize it is the mind they keep. I don't have the answer as of a question to life. Strange the truth of a man. Just me thinking agian as where the hell will I ever fit in. I tire of this round hole they pounded me in. So I found a way out. Good luck in life and remember you are a poets dream. Steven A. Kacer
press

press

17 years 3 months ago

I hold the ground as safe

I hold the ground as safe in front of me, through the black darkness my life I cannot see. The mud seeps into my boots, thanks God for the safety as my life has roots That mud seem to hold on my feet But is it the trick of the ground that the mind cannot see Decisions made not my own. [WHY WOULD YOU USE THIS IT BREAKS THE FLOW YOU ARE GOING INTO ANOTHER THOUGHT TAKE YOUR TIME WITH YOUR POEMS ] decisions made set in stone. Bones snap beneath my feet, The smell of death has now turned sweet. If I kill then will I die? And if I die will I kill. agian. Never to set eyes on my land, A marine will always stand.
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 3 months ago

POETRY

Press. Thanks brother for the insight. The addition of agian is to my mind better said. Yet as all poets are different the change as you call it to another thought. It is as I placed it a story in poetry. And to explain the roots that hold my feet. This line is simple to me as it is what I said. The roots were to hold my feet in the mud. I say to you fellow poet as I write from the cuff and fast. I could careless about what most think to my poetry as I write for three. Me myself and I. I wonder have you came up with a title to play the game of poetry with me if you have send it as I will be happy to play in the gray we both are to keep forever and a day. Thanks agian as I have said from the first read of you that you are just you a man that is to stand his ground yet a fine poet. See ya on the flip side of life friend and if we are to play just outside the gate then what the hell I will be your friend. Steven A. Kacer
I

isitme

17 years 3 months ago

Nice

Very good Steve. I enjoyed the experience. Very descriptive and you put the Marine in it. Nicely done friend.
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 3 months ago

Poets

Hello Orgami Strange as my mind friend. As to place your picture soldier. You now look like a redneck to me. Please if that bothers you as a term then forget I said it. Yet if you are the person I think you are you to hold the term well. So I say thanks for the time you spend to the truth and I have a thought perhaps it is wrong yet I think not. The gray I hold tells me one of two things. You are to be a soldier from the past or a fine worker of the written word. No matter to me as I think you are well to the quill you place. Strange yet I will ask a misguided question. How many friends I say as to family or those that are true buds have a clue to poetry as I had one she was my mother and now she is gone. Yet what the heck as to my friends they are all good people just think in a different state of mind than mine. Steven A. Kacer
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years ago

...MARINE poem...

S.A.K.,I have neglected your deep and unique poetry. I feel a kinship with you. ( quite different than my kinship with Orgami.) I read your comments, and I feel like I'm on an old ghost ship, you are the captain, and I stand spellbound, listening, and watching as you stare into the dark of night, while the ghasly wind comes strong from your back, pounding your rig through the storm churned waters, to parts as yet unknown to living man. I think you are right about if we met. We would mention poetry, only as relative to life's mysteries. Thank you for being here to inspire me...........wcw
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years ago

Life

W.C. Hello friend I have never seen. I don't know what life is to bring yet I have held a nack of knowing when shit is to hit the fan. Perhaps just by chance I will be wrong yet my mind is strong. So if a fool I will be happy to be yet watch you back and load heavy. I see a storm comming and well you in the middle of it. Just the thought I hold nothing more and nothing less. Steven A. Kacer

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