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Vampire in the Mist (No. 1 in a series)

Vampire in the Mist

 

The oddly beautiful silhouette emerged from the misted wood line.
The vapors surrounded it like a protective shield.

The full moon brushed the scene with subtle light
Touching the image with a calm yet eerie twinge.

The tall figure commanded respect
Long blonde hair fluttered on the breeze
The curves from top to bottom were accented by shadows
The only visible flesh was pale even in the dim light
The eyes were haunting in their own right
The fangs barely visible past the full ruby lips
Everything else was darker than black.
 

 In a blink of an eye, she was gone

 Simultaneously you could feel her,
A hungered breath on your neck.
Frozen in fear the scream never leaves your throat
 

The moist heat numbs your veins
And trickles down over your collar bone.
Nothingness rules the seconds
Time ceases to exist.

Seconds tick to minutes
Still nothing.
No pain,
No abilities,
No movement.

In a heartbeat,
The mist dances in the wood line
You watch her return to the darkness

Your knees buckle
The ground hard beneath them
You watch the mist twist and turn

A pair of eyes lock on yours
Fangs ghastly illuminate in the moonlight

A voice disgustingly sweet,
Hangs on the heavy air…

“Sleep well, my treasure.  Until we met again,”


                           Written by Tink 2/14/09 11:45am

— Tink, Feb 14, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Pennsylvania, USA

More from this author

Critiques

Rett

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Loved the poem

and the line breaks are perfect now whatever you did. I always save as a text file and open it in notepad and paste from there and always perfect then. Whew, this poem gave me chills. Are you sure that Kelsey and you are not related? *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!
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paparazii

17 years 3 months ago

Vampires are freakies

Liked you poem, it reminds me of Salems lot, by king, freak stuff are cool, they absorb a certain amount of energy from ones guts and one do just have not to let it seem real, it's always good to watch scary movie with something chilly to eat/popcoons are not that very bad as well. Check mine, The writer haunting road, its cool, promise u'll like it. All the best paparazii
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

17 years 3 months ago

Nice poem Tink! I have a

Nice poem Tink! I have a good friend who really digs vampires...she'd really like that one. That could be a popular one with the explosion in popularity of Twilight...sweetly chilling. Love the fantastic feel of it.
S

SilhouetteName

17 years 3 months ago

Nice

That was very chilling to read. It gave me goosebumps
L

LissaMine

17 years 3 months ago

Great Work

A little different than what im used too...liked it just the same Lissa I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 3 months ago

Goosebumps!

Tink, I love this! Well, I have already confessed to you how much I love vampires, so it got a head start... You create a real horror atmosphere, and I love the understatement in the description of the victim "Nothingness rules the seconds Time ceases to exist." "Your knees buckle The ground hard beneath them You watch the mist twist and turn" Wow, goosebumps again! Yours, ~Nina
K

Kyarain

17 years 3 months ago

Outstanding

Reminded me of Rosalie in a subtle way. Time changes in the biggening were a 'ittle bit awkward. LOVED IT THOUGH... great, awesome, you have some talent for sure! I can definetly tell why you said I'd like your novel if I liked Twilight. Be sure to own the words, don't let yourself be caught up in the vampire craze because of Meyer... Write it because it wants to be written, remember your creative freedom, after all, not all vampires need fangs XD
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Tink, Shared this one

Hey Tink, Shared this one with my friend, Becky, a fellow vampire lover. She says it was well written, very insightful, it looks well into what vampires are really about instead of the typical stereotypes. Just thought I'd share it with her! Peace and Love Katie
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sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 2 months ago

The Wolf

Tink. This to me is a write of a person that has seen such things. I my friend have played with a few myself Your work is worth the read yet I try to forget why he or she came to me. I sit now on a chair and ye I have a gun. No silver ball just a twix to the mix me and my dog. Steven A. Kacer
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W.C.Wampler

17 years 2 months ago

...vampire...mist...poem

Tink., A nice erie poem all the way. Like an intro to a new vampire movie. Well done..........wcw
O

orgami

17 years 2 months ago

classics

although i have played the old mutant ps one games the earliest recollections were of black and white horror movies Bela Lugosi as Dracula and Vincent Price somehow missed the mid eighties ones and Never read any vampire books But I like your latest poem I commented on another way back the smaller version I like that one too and laugh maybe but I liked the old "Blade" movies heh heh never yet have seen Twilight I love your poem though its very creative and dramatic
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 2 months ago

An excellent write,

have you considered the present tense? I read it that way and I think it would make it more immediate and compelling, cheers, Jess Forever unwrapping the eternal present.
Geezer

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

yeah, vamps!

i love vampires! guess there must be a lot of us out here. i would venture to say that there are also many different classes of us. i for one, am of the emotional suckers, i get sustenance, and great pleasure from others' emotions. so great to read of my cousin 'milly' from 'penn'. tell her i say hello. great read! keep on keeping on, gee.
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 2 months ago

low class of vampire

It's hard to believe someone would admit, never mind BRAG about being an emotional blood sucker. I've known some people like that. Nothing to give, just take take take. A real drain to be around. Fortunately, they're not always real bright, so they TELL YOU how they are, and they can be avoided. Nice. wcw
Geezer

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

low class?

i think not! i never take anything other than what they give of their own free will. life is full of miscarriages of justice, those that chose to give me of their burdens feel relieved of an excess of emotion. i always give them a way to vent. i never,never, intentionally would cause pain to another. i am as good a listener as anyone would want. however, i don't want to argue with you either, so i will just let this be said and be done with it. sorry i offended your sense-abilities. keep on keeping on, gee.
S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 2 months ago

The Wolf in your eyes

Tink. I enjoy the read yet I true bleed. Yes I have seen the wolf without A soul. Perhaps it is the reason your writing is to keep me. Yet what the hell as the wolf I find is never kind just there to take his tole to the gray of your soul. I pray my friend he never comes back agian be it by land or hidden in the darkness of the wave. So I say good luck and a well placed poem just the same. I hope to never see the wolf without eyes agian in my life as he actually places fear to my gray. Steven A. Kacer
D

DWD

17 years 2 months ago

Once bitten ...

Looking forward to reading more... Smiles Gabor
Geezer

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

kisssss!!

i already commented on this one but, will say i got a charge out it again just like first time! also got comment from wc wampler,i think i'm misunderstood!
ANC1996

ANC1996

17 years 2 months ago

Woo-Hoo!

Haha.Ima vampire addict!I loved it so mutch! I think im going to go read it again!lol! I really loved the ending though it was my favorite part! Cant wait to read more, Peace; ANC!
T

Tink

17 years 1 month ago

All - please accept my apologies for ...

For lacking on my return comments to you all and my thank yous for all of your support. This is the beginning of a series that i didn't even know was going to be a series. All of your support and enjoyment has inspired me to continue with the series. The fourth is up-coming. I am glad that you all of ejoyed this one. thank you all for giving it the time to read! Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink
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paparazii

17 years ago

Still with you buddy

Moving words coiled with a fridgtening compelling style, still remember reading this one or it was the other, loved it, keep me updated with the rest. Love and light paparazii
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 11 months ago

Vampire in the Mist

Tink Wow Chills down the backbone. I was so engrossed had to read again and again. I could see the lonesome sillohette in the shrouded mist lingering on the edge of the forest waiting to lure the unsuspected. The image does not solidify she stays transparant but you can just make out the curves that await. With bated breath I read on. I see those ruby lips of red with unsuspecting fangs await as her long tresses flow in the night breeze she waits with such longing. Love it just love it Electric blue
T

Tink

16 years 11 months ago

Thanks Blue!

I am glad you liked it. I must be honest this has been one of my favorite series to do. There are more to follow. Number 5 is a work in progress. Thank you for the compliment. Means a great deal to me coming from you. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hi tink!

Beautifully written and executed. I was with you all the way. I have a weakness for dark poetry (and I love Vampires and Jack the Ripper) Again, great poem! Always, Cat
T

Tink

16 years 11 months ago

CAT !

It is good to see you back around here. Thanks for the read and the comment and the stars. I have recently gotten into vampires more deeply and I just thought i could expand a little more, give a different twist to an already twisted world. Glad you liked it. I hope you like the rest of the series as well. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink
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Lotus

16 years 11 months ago

Great poem. The only aprt in

Great poem. The only aprt in it i didn't like was "Seconds tick to minutes Still nothing. No pain, No abilities, No movement" Just the word 'abilities' bothers me i think it's because it has four syllabls, and it just made it sound wierd to me when i read it aloud.