Rett

Feb 04, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Wings of Glory (expanded from chat)

irridescent shimmering light
filtered through multicolored hues
of rough textured canvas appendages
glittering in refracted sunlight

gleaming silver diamond dust
like all the stars of the universe
run rampant through the jet black tresses
flowing down her back
like a rushing mountain stream

her face is turned toward the heavens
and eyes as golden as sunlight
looks out upon forever
she leaps into the purple-red
painted sky and dances
on the sweet smelling
summer breeze,

then,

without one
backward glance
she soars on an immortals
whispery wings
beyond the stratosphere
to ride the solar winds
leading to the stars
breaking the mortal confines
of this ball of mud
called
earth

and the last Goddess
leaves the people
who have grown
beyond
the
need

— Rett, Feb 04, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks Kelsey

I fixed it and added a finishing touch I forgot to add before I posted. I appreciate your feedback my friend. The picture you have up now reminds me of my favorite character on TV.. Abbie on NCIS. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

tbeaudet

17 years 4 months ago

Quite a stretch

from your usual, my friend, but very, very good indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed it. (But let's not lose the Old Rett completely!) Goddess is spelled with 2 D's is my only suggestion. Thanks, Tom

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

LOL Unpredictable old cuss ain't I?

Don't worry, the old Rett is still here. I just like to stretch the wings once in a while. You know how it is with us old ones, the leather tends to get stiff and non-pliable. Dang it, I seem to be dropping letters all over the place today. First the m's and now the d's. *picking it up off floor and dusting it off* Ahh, there we go. It's in place now. Thank you my friend. I appreciate it. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Rett

I could only stay for part of the chat last night , but I see you came away with something from it what can I say this is incredible Chrys

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Chrys

I appreciate it my friend. I can write this way, but don't do it often. *LOL* Somehow I always feel like I am showing off when I do. Yeah, I know, ridiculous huh? I only made it for the last 15 minutes. Dang flu bug has got me. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Lonnie

17 years 4 months ago

Amazing write, Rett!

Reminds one of something out of "Dragonriders Of Pern" or, "Eragon"! You should try expanding to Fantasy Novels, my friend!

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks Lonnie

I am a big fan of Anne McCaffrey and have everyone of the dragonrider books, including the ones written by her son, Todd. As for Eragon, that one made me mad. He ripped off some of her stuff and it was mediocre at best. I think the boy got it published and the movie made only because his parents were well off. I love Fantasy and Science Fiction as you can tell. You'll also notice I never call it sci-fi as to me that is the old B movies that were horrible. Right now I am trying to work on a short story based on my Shattered Crystal poems. Maybe I'll get it finished and posted this month. That is the one area I have a lot of trouble with. I can do a monologue write, but have a lot of trouble with dialogue. I appreciate your reading and comments Lonnie. Thank you very much. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Nordic cloud

17 years 3 months ago

Scintillating

It seems a little bit overdone at the beginning, yes Rett, I can almost say I felt the micky being taken out of the descriptive excess-ors. I do like the words though, if they had been written more like the last verse which I enjoyed the most , and in this one the shortness of the lines is perfect. The first a little like a list of words. Now I have been honest about what I feel. Beautiful abandon in the third part leaping, and I like the rampant through the tresses, I wonder what the appendages were, ok well....... great fun Rett Respectfully Ann of Norway.

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Ann

Pretty much all of it I agree with. First stanza is a bit overdone and I did not do a complete description of how she looked. I appreciate it and glad you liked it anyway. Thanks. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

first stanza is poetic gold

you used the textures really, really well. I'm not a fan of the word "upon" in that case, personally I'd use "on," but that's personal preference Mark talking, not "hmm, I think you should change it" Mark, if that makes any sense. I'm enamored by the rest of it as well. Your descriptions, Rett, are becoming more and more tangible. You are a heck of a poet. One question in regards to stanza two: If she soars into the stratosphere, she would never ride the solar winds. Perhaps soars beyond the stratosphere? Total nitpick on my part, but thought I'd ask. Again, you're becoming a darn fine poet. Mark W. "An insult is just someone who hates you making a noise to indicate their hatred, a barking dog. Criticism is someone trying to help you, by telling you something about yourself that you were a little too comfortable not knowing. " ~ David Wong

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Mark, Mark, Mark

You are not being nitpicky. That is what I like. I want and need that type of stuff. I care about improving and if I disagree with the assessment I still want it because it provides food for thought. I appreciate the catch on stratosphere as I totally muffed that! Anyone that ignores suggestions without even giving them thought will never improve and stands a good chance of becoming a fool. Anyone that thinks they know it all is a total idiot. I totally appreciate it. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Janice

Glad you liked it. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

nokros

17 years 3 months ago

Wings of Glory (expanded from chat)

you have an expansive style which is so essential to the evocation of feeling. i would however suggest shortening your lines or just cutting down on some descriptives. i enjoyed the read. it takes you places where only bolder mind dare to tread. yours nokros

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thank you Nokros

I will give that some thought and see what I can do. I guess you have noticed that I tend to wander around on styles and subjects as I get bored with the same ole same ole all the time. I appreciate you feedback very much. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thank you Double D.

I appreciate it. Nice suggestion there. I will see what I can do about that. Sorry about crashing you. *G* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!