Change Winds

When my good man are you going to write something that needs work. This is excellent "A blood red rose on pure white snow" You cannot get anymore image provoking than that , both visual and emotional nice writing Chrys

Rett, I love this work, I really do. It's evocative, the imagery you paint is beyond poignant. A sadness pervades this that you have captured perfectly, the whole thing flows really well, in short, it's very, very good. But I'm a d*ck, and want it to be great, lol! Ok, now farbeit (or is it far be it?) for me to assume I know what "great" is, I still have a few suggestions. (I say "why why why" because I hate being the first person to poop on any part of this, especially when a much more accomplished writer like Chrys has already given her seal of approval) The first thing: I wonder if it is possible to have too much detail, too much description. I know that you were describing the rose perfectly in line one of stanza two, but wow, to me that description "blood red rose" has so been done to death to give me heartburn. (wait, actually that's the chicken salad I had) Same line "pure white snow." Maybe I just have it out for that line... In any case, for some reason or another that just clashes to me. Bear in mind though that its just me. I don't know why, but I've never liked hearing "love" rhymed with anything. For some reason, I always cringe. Again, just me. Finally, line two of stanza six. I think you might have a better time with it by just switching the words up. Right now you have "For never were you whole." How about "For you were never whole...?" I dunno, for some reason my brain has a thing against the first way. Perhaps I should medicate, lol! Those things said, Rett, I really, really truly liked this piece. I think you are growing as a poet, and your ability to tell a story through your work is exemplary. Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible

This was absolutely beautiful. For some reason the red rose which signifies love does truly belong on the white virgin snow Great write Patty

a sneaking suspicion as to the object of this piece. By all means if the lines I had mentioned are integral, then those suggestions would do nothing but damage the meaning. Sometimes, our writing rises above the art. :) I'm not helping my heartburn by eating chip dip, either, lol! Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible

lovely write and thought provoking as usual ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Like this one very much, theme, rhyme, pacing, all are great. Love the refrain, almost magical. 5th stanza... "And your ear speaks of love" "ear"? It evokes a strange imagery in me, that doesn't seem to fit the rest. Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

no idea at all Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

really liked this on Rett it sings to me i'm curious, what do you think about There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though she still doesn’t understand if it was There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though still she doesn’t understand seems that it helps the flow, or it least to my ear, i've been repeating it for about 10 minutes now!) in any case it's a good one have a great day james

really liked this one Rett it sings to me i'm curious, what do you think about There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though she still doesn’t understand if it was There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though still she doesn’t understand seems that it helps the flow, or it least to my ear, i've been repeating it for about 10 minutes now!) in any case it's a good one have a great day james

really liked this one Rett it sings to me i'm curious, what do you think about There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though she still doesn’t understand if it was There are stars up above And your ear speaks of love Though still she doesn’t understand seems that it helps the flow, or it least to my ear, i've been repeating it aloud for about 10 minutes now!) in any case it's a good one have a great day james

and I can picture a gospel choir slowly gathering behind you, swaying back and forth in their alternating red and white robes bellowing the chorus as you wave goodbye and slowly walk offstage. Love it.. what else is new?

Rett, This is a great poem/song, with easy flow, and just the right amount of refrain. I like the three line verses, with almost free verse, almost set rhyme pattern, and a strong pricipled drive mechanism underneath. You are a craftsman. wcw

Rett, This is one of my favorites of yours. A truly beautiful piece~ ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Van Gogh... ? enjoyed the poem and the puzzle... and if I guessed correctly or not... enjoyed that also... Richard