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Rett

Jan 18, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Field of Stone (updated)

Field of Stone

I crossed the hills and valleys
And prairies all alone
I forded mountain streams
And found a field of stone

I toiled until my two hands bled
And blood mixed with the ground
Baptized in my sweat and blood
Happiness was found

We built a home from all the rocks
And raised a family there
I plowed the fields and grew the crops
In soil loose and spare

We watched our children move away
To greener fields so fair
We stayed on; just my wife and I
Our souls were rooted there

Together we shared the burdens
We each did our fair share
And when the good Lord called her
In solitude, I buried her there

Now my broken heart surrenders
As I stand alone to pray
The land I loved now seems so cold
Since she has gone away

I thought as I grew older
I'd never be alone
But little did I realize
Life is filled with stone

(Expanded on from Chat last night.)

— Rett, Jan 18, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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Critiques

W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 4 months ago

Field Of Stone poem

Rett, This reads like you were there. A fine story in poetry. Well crafted, easy to read, and just the right amount of emotion, with a solid close at the finish. wcw

17 years 4 months ago

WC

Hi praise indeed coming from you sir. Thank you very much. I was worried about how much emotion to put into it. I appreciate it very much. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 4 months ago

Mix

Rett, Blood sweat and mud. A fine house to live. Look to the Noreast and then tell me what do you see. I enjoyed this piece of poetic work from a place in my mind you found to find.

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks Steven

I drew on a few memories of the motorcycle trips the wife and I took into the Blue Ridge Mountains Smokey Mountains when we were a bit younger. We saw a lot of rock strewn fields, stone walls and stone buildings. Hard life in that area in the old days. I appreciate it sir. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

S

sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17 years 4 months ago

Just you

To a chance, Your poem said to me a few things to remember and to forget. The recolection my friend was as a young man on a walk to the outside. Just me my dog and my gun. The story was well as I left that day just before the light was to shine. Walking to the vally of truth I guess as no better word can I think of. About five to seven miles out I came across a cave that was black and not deep yet what looked like a ball was my mind to see. I tapped it with the end of my shotgun and what the hell it sounded hollow. I dug it up and a fine pot I found that later was told it was left for a purpose. Well I think you will already have a clue to the potery. The next was to a rock so tall a cliff by name I climed it to see the white owl about half way to the top I found myself in troubble as the bees liked the water that ran from her cracks darn as pain was to play when I could not jump down. To far and I would have ben dead. Thanks for the poem you wrote and well you would be happy to know you can skipper the ship I ride on anyday anytime. Steven A. Kacer

17 years 4 months ago

Oh my, Rett, HOW you have

Oh my, Rett, HOW you have captured the essence of the dream and its reality! a heart is made from stone gathering moss breaking always breaking on unknown shores ~A "All in all, it's just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd There are no walls except for the ones we build. ~me~

17 years 4 months ago

My gratitude Anna

I truly am thrilled with your kind words. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Janice

I try to do my best. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

yenti

17 years 4 months ago

I wonder

At this work is it a reflection of things held in the mind that have disguised them for a field of stones. Rett this is a fine piece, and from the heart of a man that has learnt of the world, and not through being given things, but having to strive for things against maybe the balance of life itself. You are writing things that many more people should read. Cannot say much else, Yours, Ian.T

17 years 4 months ago

Ian, a greater compliment you cannot give

than to say the words you've said. You seem to see the obvious that others overlook. A man cannot learn without striving for knowledge. A man cannot appreciate good in life without experiencing the bad nor can he achieve happiness without first knowing sadness. Thank you for you most kind and thoughtful words my friend. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

C

17 years 4 months ago

one of those poems

where it's difficult for me to critique the art when there's obviously a strong emotional attachment. Don't get me wrong, your pace, rhythm, pattern etc. are great, fabulous in fact. On the technical side the only thing I see is linee two of stanza two. Perhaps it might flow better if you replaced "in" and put "with" there instead. Also, and this is probably going to be a very sensitive statement, so please forgive me because I don't want to push buttons given the nature of this poem, but I wonder if before you reveal to the reader of your wife's passing instead of using "I" as in "I built a home from all the rocks" to "we built a home from all the rocks." Just a suggestion. Regardless, this is a fine piece my friend. Mark W. I like Cal and his dog Napalm I like Ike and his itty-bitty A-bomb everybody got one, I want mine you can order it up on Channel Nine. ~From "Doctor Jeep" by The Sisters of Mercy

17 years 4 months ago

Mark, as I stated at the end

"Any and all critique will be welcomed with open arms, sharpened wit and a keyboard ready for corrections." A man who refuses to improve something is a fool. When I cease to learn or listen to constructive critique, bury me quick before I begin to smell. Due note has been taken and with due consideration you are correct and changes will be implemented. It reads better that way and I appreciate it along with the kind words also. Changes have been made along with one or two more. I think it reads better now. Thank you. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

17 years 4 months ago

Field of Stone

Wow,Filled with blood, sweat and tears! Enjoyed it so very much! _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Janice

Chat can be very constructive at times. Emarie gave a good one last night as did Tink the other night. I appreciate your words my friend and I thank you. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

C

17 years 4 months ago

it reads awesomely

is awesomely a word, even? Anyhow a fine tribute! Mark W. I like Cal and his dog Napalm I like Ike and his itty-bitty A-bomb everybody got one, I want mine you can order it up on Channel Nine. ~From "Doctor Jeep" by The Sisters of Mercy

17 years 4 months ago

Ahhhh, now I understand why you were

sensitive about your critique. I'm sorry. The poem is not a tribute to anyone. It is only a poem I came up with in chat. Sure, there is a little bit of me in it as I seem to incorporate a lot of my emotions and outlook on life into my poetry, but it is not about anyone in particular. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

C

17 years 4 months ago

lol you brat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm all like tip - toing because of the "wife" thing and, and and.......... gggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, now that's out of my system, darn fine poem there! Oh, and you mentioned bury you before you smell... um, you meant death, right? Cause I've got a shovel here, and, well, have you ever considered deoderant, sir? Mark W. I like Cal and his dog Napalm I like Ike and his itty-bitty A-bomb everybody got one, I want mine you can order it up on Channel Nine. ~From "Doctor Jeep" by The Sisters of Mercy

17 years 4 months ago

laughing so hard gasping for air

oh oh oh, that hurts and I almost wet myself. *eying shovel* Let's see, heavy duty industrial strength antiperspirant and deodorant, yep, that's the ticket! *hurriedly applying it vigorously* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

P

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Rett

Alone I buried her there is it just me or does this line fall short? Other than that this is another of your fine writes, Nice to know the chat room worked Chrys

17 years 4 months ago

Chrys, it isn't just you

I have been going back and forth on it all afternoon when I get a moment. Maybe is should be "All alone, I buried her there." What do you think? Or maybe.."In solitude, I buried her there." Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

P

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Rett

That would work better in my humble opinion Chrys

17 years 4 months ago

I see you left the last verse alone!

And I really like what you've done with the rest of this. Chrys is right, that "alone" line is lacking something. How about "home" instead? Other than that I can find anything to criticise. On hell of a good write Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks Jim

I appreciate the kind words. I changed that line and I think it looks better. As for the last stanza, it was too good to mess with. You called it on that one! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

17 years 4 months ago

bucket of emotions

You had perseverance, hope, love, sadness, and inner-enlightenment. What more can you ask for in a poem? This is an excellent write. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Jess

*Checking off items on list* yep, that covers it. Didn't get any sex and drugs, rock and roll and country in, but that gives me a .500 avg so that's okay. *G* I appreciate it my friend. Thank you. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

17 years 4 months ago

I love stones

I liked this. Just a slight feeling here and there for instance Cut out the "the" burdens I buried= she's buried there more direct. This life is filled with stone /or this life is full of stone Or maybe not any changes, sorry. Just thinking around and i liked it too. Ann

17 years 4 months ago

Ann

Thank you very much. I like your suggestions, but haven't figured a way around losing the rhythm if I add/subtract, but will keep thinking on it. I always love "thinking" input. Sometimes it is very helpful. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate it no end. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

T

Taurus1970

17 years 4 months ago

One of the most challenging

One of the most challenging things in writing poetry is to draw people in emotionally with so few words. You have really done that here. It isn't too often I wallow up but when I got to the part about 'the good Lord calling her', I got a little misty... "If I had a prayer, it would be this: God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation..." - Byron Katie

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Taurus

Awesome! Now THAT is an effective poem. Seriously, I am very glad you liked it and took the time to comment. I truly appreciate it! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

17 years 4 months ago

I was quite sucked in with this story

I was quite sucked in with this story... (it was always my dream to build a stone house) I was full of admiration for you having done so & then I got to the tragic bit... & happen to know you are still with your one love (Love that so much).. felt relief & different admiration that you carried off the story so well. In truth though ....& I am not good at non gushy feedback I confess... I was left with a sense of sudden departure, it may have been your intention, but it was not satisfying, I wanted more depth to the end of the story or something... the last sentiment is good,& completes well, but there was something I felt robbed of prior to that point... does that make sense? Going in for more now! It's good stuff! Cheers Anni May I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

17 years 4 months ago

Anni, thank you

I can understand the feeling you are talking about, but sometimes you have to compromise on things to get a decent flow and length. Too much and the reader loses interest, too little and they don't like it and too long and they walk away. In that vein it is sometimes really hard to give a complete story in a poem while keeping it to a short length. One day, as I am known to at times, I may try to expand this. Every comment and suggestion is always kept in my consideration and seems to stick there til I find a way to work it. I appreciate it very much! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

15 years 11 months ago

I am left holding a stone in my hand,

Ann of Norway I am left holding a stone in my hand, my tears wetting it and my mind in a mist of dreams, a little charming poem like a stone, its weight and feelings expressed from the heart, ery nice Rett, with love from Ann.

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you Ann

I appreciate it. I'm rather fond of that one. A bit of a favorite of miine. Hope you are doing well. (HUGS) Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Rett

I think this poem is excellent as it is. The rhyme and story are sublime. My favorite verses are: We watched our children move away To greener fields so fair We stayed on; just my wife and I Our souls were rooted there I thought as I grew older I’d never be alone But little did I realize Life is filled with stone Wonderful! Always, Cat

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Cat

Glad you liked it. It is one of my personal favorites. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin

15 years 11 months ago

Very touching story poem

of working hard to make a home. Makes me think of pioneers and all the ordeals they had to overcome to win over some of this land. Great write, Rett! Always, Tonya

M

15 years 11 months ago

Texan

This one hit home for me as well. Just a lovely piece here that is all I can say now Texan friend. The image and feel it brang to me this Saturday morning. Stones..family..love... Peace Mona